A Beautiful Mess
by ImSuperSiriusGuys
Summary: A Marauder story told in the form of flashbacks by none other than Professor R. J. Lupin and Azkaban escapee, Sirius Black. Follows the Marauders through their childhood and teenage years. SB/RL focused, with some JP/LE and other random, half-hearted relationships. - R&R!
1. Out of the Frying Pan

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"How was I supposed to know that the Grindylows would acquire a taste for cat?" - Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

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**Warnings**: Some mild cursing and Professor Snape - who has run away from his shampoo bottle again.

**Disclaimer**: This is a _fan_fiction site, you know. However if either of us miraculously become J.K. Rowling, we'll be sure to let everyone know.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is a dual effort at a fanfic done by two separate authors. So expect subtle, though hopefully not overwhelming, differences from chapter to chapter.

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**CHAPTER ONE - Out of the Frying Pan  
**

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Professor R.J. Lupin turned down an empty Hogwart's corridor. The paintings shot him nasty looks, "Would you put that light out?" roared an outraged knight who was donning a onesie pajama, with fluffy clouds over a blue sky background, over his armor. He reached for his sword, his eyes flashed threateningly. Evidently since Remus had cleaned up their source of amusement, a group of hexed Slytherins, they were ready to get some sleep and were a little sore with him to boot.

Remus fought back a chuckle at the pajama clad painting's fierce attitude. "My apologies, sir," he said quietly dipping his chin. "Nox," he whispered, giving his wand a flick. The light disappeared.

The werewolf continued his way down the abandoned hallways of the castle, reminiscing briefly about the many times he had wandered down these aimlessly in the still of the night. Looking for hiding places or secret passageways, running from a frustrated Argus Filch, or trying to find the slowest of the group - Peter - who often got left behind in the mad dashes down the halls. Doubling back and finding him had been a frequent occurrence for Remus when all of the other Marauders forgot. The pudgy boy always managed to find trouble. More than once Lupin found him trapped in a broom closet in an attempt to evade one of Filch's spy-cats.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

Remus sighed, glancing over to Peter's empty bed. _He must have gotten lost at some point during this night's raid of the Slytherin dormitory_.

The exhausted 13-year pushed himself off of the still cold 4-poster bed. He grudgingly stumbled into his slippers and wrapped his robes with the Gryffindor seal upon them tightly around himself, goosebumps rising on his arms.

The young werewolf idly glanced over at the recently stolen Slytherin armchairs, carelessly piled into the corner of the 4th year boys' dorm; They had been transfigured to a Gryffindor red. In hindsight, there wasn't really room for them.

He shuffled over to James's trunk, quietly pushing open the lid and pulling out the silvery invisibility cloak. He would borrow it and let Peter use it when he found him. There really wasn't room enough for two people under it anymore, at least not if one of those people was Peter.

_Oh, almost forgot_. The werewolf walked back to his side of the dorm and started fumbling through the top of his own trunk for their map, only to find nothing. He continued to search deeper into his trunk and stopped upon discovering something peculiar.

All of his socks had been transfigured a vibrant shade of fuchsia, and his spare pair of shoes a bogie green.

_Lovely_.

Despite the boy's attempts at bitterness, a small smirk curled up the left side of his cheek, his tired eyes pinching slightly as a chuckle shook his slight form.

Remus stood and turned, quietly making his way over to the largest trunk in the room. Atop it stood out the intricate Black Family Seal, involving a black snake twining around a white orchid.

He hummed under his breath as he snatched the map from the middle of the messy pile within the trunk.

"The Mission Impossible theme song, eh? I would have thought the Lion King would be a more fitting song with those slippers," Sirius Black chastised his friend as he arched his eyebrows, staring very pointedly at the roaring lion slippers upon Remus's feet.

"I've already discussed this with you. You can buy me gifts but I will not necessarily follow the hand-written instructions that come with them." Remus quipped back.

Sirius pushed himself off his bed, and began to dress."So where are we going? **It's the, eye of the tiger! It's the thrill of the fight**-"

"-Nowhere unless you stop singing that inane song, and please be quiet or you will wake James," Remus grumpily interrupted his very chipper roommate.

"You're just jealous because my tiger slippers have a manlier theme song than yours," Sirius scoffed and walked out of the dorm.

"You do know I am going to look for Peter, right?" Remus asked as he followed, walking down the dormitory stairway.

Sirius stopped halfway down the stairs, frowning at the revelation. Remus continued to walk, passing his friend. "Hmmm, not quite what I had in mind. How about we go fetch some sweets from Honeydukes or go feed Mr. Norris some dungbombs. He will eat anything that has tuna flavoring on it."

"I'm sure Filch will appreciate that about as much as the time you took it upon yourself to give Mr. Norris a bath in the Black Lake. "

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that the Grindylows would acquire a taste for cat?" Sirius defended himself.

"No, no. We are going to help Peter. He would do the same for one of us."

Remus had to remain strong, Sirius could be very convincing at times.

"I never get to do anything fun when Peter is lost," Sirius complained, kicking the leg of a couch in the common room as he now obediently, if not quietly, followed Remus towards the common room door.

"It's a hard life Padfoot-ah, Peter there you are! What happened?" Remus was looking, with no small amount of concern, at a very pale Peter as he stumbled weakly into the Gryffindor common room. He stank of sewage.

"I lost you guys back in the d-dungeons. I was trying to find my way b-back when I thought I h-heard Filch coming so I opened what I th-thought was a broom closet and c-climbed in. But it was a - an access door to the sewage p-pipes. I was lost in there a while but then Mr. Norris found me. I t-tried to run but he got a hold of my leg, he wouldn't let g-go-" the shivering boy paused to pull back his robe and revealed a tattered, ripped pant leg, angry red scratches criss-crossed his entire shin.

"Splendid! Now to the kitchens!"

**Flashback End**

* * *

A pang of grief and nostalgia pierced Remus's stomach. He clenched his eyes closed for a moment and tried to gather himself.

'A finger, that's all that was found. He wasn't killed - he was destroyed.'

A sickish feeling flooded up the man's throat, and he shook his head in an attempt to shake the negative thoughts out of his head.

All along the Marauders had known Sirius was the most unstable of the group. The Blacks were well known for their insanity and sadistic proclivities. However, it had never once crossed Remus's mind that Sirius could be so far gone. To massacre innocent people, to kill Peter. It made no sense. James had died that night so of course Sirius had been terribly upset, inconsolable.

_"Sirius, where have you been? I've been so worried about you!" Remus yelled at the disheveled looking man. _

_"What's wrong? Did you think I was dead? Like James! Like Lily!" Sirius had cried out, a wild look in his eyes as he stumbled across their flat, clearly drunk. _

_"Why would you say such a thing?" Remus asked, hurt clear in his voice. _

_"Are you even upset Remus? Are you!"_

_"What? Of course I'm bloody upset, I'm torn up about it! You think just because you don't deal with things well that nobody else is as upset as you are! Is that it?"_

_"I'm leaving! I'm going to go find Peter."_

_"Peter? Why, and at this hour? Just stay, please. We should talk."_

_"I don't want to talk!" Sirius turned and left the flat, leaving a staring Remus at the door. _

Remus broke from his thoughts when he realized he had begun wandering almost in circles through the castle and was not getting any closer to his destination. It was then the muted sound of voices reached his sensitive ears and he paused and cocked his head to one side.

"-or we go straight to the headmaster! Pull them out, Potter!" a voice filled with undisguised malice demanded.

Remus began moving in the direction of the voices. Why was Harry out of bed and at this hour? Anger and frustration welled up in his chest. Sirius was possibly within the castle walls at this moment more than likely insane after his long stint in Azkaban - and Harry was simply strolling about in the middle of the night seemingly alone. He didn't necessarily think Sirius would hurt him, but he didn't really know what to expect, and Harry looked so much like James. It was best to keep him away from the boy.

"-and what is this?"

Remus' temper started to flare up as he listened to the potions professor clearly enjoying himself as he toyed with Harry. Snape's unnecessary bullying of the students was disgusting, though Remus got the not so vague impression he saved a lot of this behavior for Harry in particular.

"Let me see, let me see... Reveal your secret!"

An impatient exhalation. Good, he was getting close enough to hear their breathing. With his sensitive hearing, that probably meant just a few more turns.

"Show yourself! Professor Severus Snape, master of this school, commands you to yield the information you conceal!"

Remus rounded the final bend, spotting several outraged, grumbling, and cursing paintings. Just at the end of the corridor stood a rather bat-like looking Professor Snape and a surprised looking Harry.

Lupin approached the two casually, his golden-hazel eyes alighting upon a very old and very familiar piece of parchment that the two were hovering over.

The map had reacted finally, and words had begun to appear on the yellowed parchment, as if an invisible hand were writing on it, in some very familiar handwriting. Lupin tried to keep his facial features under control, his lips trying to force themselves in an upward fashion, as he awaited Snape's response.

**'Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.'  
**

"Why the nerve! I knew-"

The parchment continued:** 'Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.' **Remus' expression remained closed, cool and mute. Snape's face however was getting redder by the moment.

**'Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.'**

**'Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.'**

"So..." said Snape with a deceptively soft tone, as was his habit when he was trying the most to control his anger. "We'll see about this..."

"Professor Snape," Remus spoke up as he approached.

Snape whirled, startled, his long black robes flying out behind him like a bat's wings. He jabbed his lit wand in Lupin's direction, eyes glinting with accusation. "Lupin," he drawled. "Out for a stroll?... In the moonlight.."

Lupin bit back the urge to state that no, he was not in the moonlight, as they happened to be indoors at the moment. He thought that Sirius would have been quick to offer that Snape would have been able to see that if his greasy bangs weren't in his eyes.

Instead, he ignored him, turning to the black-haired, green-eyed boy beside them both. "Harry," he greeted.

Snape turned, and with such speed it was comical, ripped the old parchment from Harry's hands and brandished it into the air as if it were the House Cup.

Everyone paused for a moment, the two Gryffindors staring speechlessly at the excited Slytherin.

"Ihavejustnowconfiscatedarathercuriouspieceofparch ment," Severus said, all in one rushed breath. "Take a look, Lupin," he said, holding it daringly in the werewolf's direction, "it's clearly filled with dark magic. And this is after all your area of expertise."

Lupin discreetly rolled his eyes. Snape had had it out for him ever since the incident but he had grown even angrier since Lupin had been given the DADA position this year. Severus had desperately wanted the position despite the obvious one-year curse. He looked up from the parchment after scanning it briefly and threw his gaze in Harry's direction, a clear warning to not interrupt.

"Dark magic?" he said in a mildly humored tone. "Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment enchanted to insult anyone who attempts to read it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke shop-"

"Indeed?" interrupted an irate Snape. His jaw was absolutely rigid, his black eyes burning with anger. "You think a joke shop could supply him with such a thing? You don't think it more likely he got it directly from the manufacturers?"

Nobody but Snape seemed to know what he was on about. Lupin decided it was best to play ignorant as it would be the most frustrating for Snape. He couldn't help but be a little resentful towards someone who taught _his_ students about werewolves for the sole purpose of making him lose his job. The two Gryffindors sent him identical looks of bewilderment.

"You mean, by Mr. Wormtail or one of these other people?" Remus asked, putting particular emphasis on the ridiculous nature of the nickname. "Harry, do you know any of these men?" he inquired, turning with both eyebrows raised at the young boy.

"No," Harry responded, his face a mask of true innocence.

"You see Severus?" Lupin said resolutely, turning back to the Professor. "It looks like a Zonko product to me-"

Snape made another wild grab for the parchment, however this time he was unsuccessful in his attempt as Lupin held it a little more than a foot out of the other man's reach.

Right on cue, Ron came bustling down the corridor, gasping frantically for breath.

"I - gave - Harry - that - stuff," he choked. "Bought - it...in Zonko's...ages - ago."

"Well!" said Lupin cheerfully. "Glad we cleared that up." The werewolf with quick discretion folded and tucked the map into his robes, but Harry watched the movement silently. "Harry, would you come with me? I'd like a word about the vampire essay." They walked off together, leaving behind a livid Severus Snape.

When they reached the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, and the door had closed, Remus rounded on Harry.

"Professor, I-"

"I don't want to hear explanations," he cut off the startled boy. "I happen to know this map was confiscated by Mr. Filch years ago. Yes, I know it's a map. What I do not know, nor do I care to know, is how it happened to come into your possession. I am however astounded that you did not turn it in." Remus knew he was being hard on Harry but he was so worried about his safety he pushed on.

Harry gaped a couple times like a fish out of water, but Remus did not let him speak yet. "You recall what happened last time a student left information about the castle lying around, yes? And this, in the hands of anyone who reads it, is a map to any student or teacher or person in the school. It is a map to every hiding place, every escape route. For that reason, and taking current events into consideration, I cannot let you have it back."

Harry seemed completely unabashed by this. "Why did Professor Snape think I had gotten it from the manufacturers?"

Remus hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "Because... because these particular cartographers - mapmakers, Harry - may have wanted to lure you out of the school. They'd find it particularly.. entertaining."

"Do you know them?" said Harry, an awed expression on his face.

"We've met," Lupin admitted with a hint of reluctance. He then shot Harry a very serious look. "Do not expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot force you to take Sirius Black seriously-" Lord, Sirius would have gone to town with that particular sentence "-but I would have thought the memory the dementors have repeatedly force you to relive would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives for yours, Harry. Gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks is a pretty poor way to repay them."

Remus then turned, a silent dismissal from the classroom. Harry's expression sank into one of deep guilt, he shuffled his way out of the classroom.

Remus tossed the parchment on to his desk. He paced back and forth, trying to calm himself down. A breeze blew through the open window by his desk and ruffled the layers of the concealed map. The werewolf cocked his head to the side and stared at it for a second, before walking purposefully towards the sentimental piece of work.

He sat down at his desk, carefully pushing the vampire essays still to be graded aside. He reverently smoothed the aged piece of parchment in front of him and pulled out his wand.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

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**This is our first story, please expect the writing to improve and we would appreciate if you don't make any snap judgements, or at least until you read a few chapters. :-)  
**

**This chapter had a lot of Prisoner of Azkaban excerpts to help set up the story. Here on out it will be different, and eventually it will be mostly flashbacks. The relationship of Remus and Sirius will start up somewhat slowly but soon we will be up to our eyeballs in it, we assure you! Stick around please!**


	2. Nothing is Everything

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Remus, don't go, we only want to _help_. You have a real problem." - James

"You guys are crazy, I can't believe you took _all_ of them! What did you do with them anyways?" -Remus

"We flushed them!" - Peter

"Hahaha, you have got to be kidding me.." - Remus

"No, Remus we are not. You know, chocaholism is nothing to laugh at." - Sirius

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

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**Warnings**: Madness, slight cursing, severe moments of chocaholism.

**Disclaimer**: Still not J.K. Rowling. Would seem the potion we bought in a dark alley was a bust.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is a dual effort at a fanfic done by two separate authors. So expect subtle, though hopefully not overwhelming, differences from chapter to chapter.

**EDIT 6/13/13** - Writer 1 to Writer 2 "here you go!" Writer 2's mind (ah, she's fnished it and edited and I can post it now! Excellent!); Writer 1's mind (great, I'm so glad I don't have to edit this myself. Writer 2 is so awesome!) Oops. Sorry guys. Hopefully it won't happen again

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**CHAPTER TWO - Nothing is Everything  
**

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Remus glanced at his clock and took another bite of his Honeyduke's Finest chocolate bar. He had been staring at the map now for two hours. He had initially pored over the piece of parchment furiously looking for the foot prints of a wanted Sirius Black. When he did not find him anywhere he was very relieved but also a little disappointed.

"No," he chided himself, "It might not be safe for Harry or the other students if Sirius was here. He is clearly not the same wizard that I remember. The Padfoot I know would never have killed Peter or those people. _Foolish_ Remus."

The werewolf took another large bite of chocolate and forced his mind clear and looked back down at the goings on of the castle.

Most of the professors and students were sleeping in their beds. However, there were a few exceptions and Remus was privy to this as he sat and studied the map.

Harry and his friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were still awake and in the Gryffindor common room. Remus winced, he hoped he hadn't been too hard on James' and Lily's son. With all the death and loss he was only trying to protect him. He owed that to his friends.

Severus Snape was in one of his potions room. It looked like he was working on a potion because his footprints would stand in front of a potions table for a while and then walk over to the potions cupboard only to return to the table. Remus felt a surge of anger rising in his chest as he stared at the working Slytherin, but tried to tamp it down by reminding himself that Severus was brewing Wolfsbane potion for him. Although he suspected that was mostly, or rather completely, Dumbledore's doing.

He had also watched Dumbledore make circles in his office for a good 45 minutes. He wasn't sure how such an old wizard could have so much energy. He remembered when he was still a student and how he and the other marauders would joke about the old wizard's impending retirement. However, it seemed Albus planned to stay for as long as he could hold on.

"Oh, what is this? I guess I _should_ do something about it. _Mischief managed_." Remus reluctantly rose from his desk as he watched the map lines slowly fade. He had hated dealing with this type of thing even as a prefect.

* * *

"I'm so sorry professor!" an embarrassed 6th year Ravenclaw girl, Dianna White, or something of that sort, cried again.

"Yes it won't happen again," added emphatically the rather red-faced Hufflepuff boy. Remus, for the life of him, couldn't remember his name.

"Yes, yes see that it doesn't. I'm sorry to say that I will have to deduct 5 points from both Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff though. Now off to bed, your own, separate beds, not the same one, what I mean to say is, er... you know what I mean!" a flustered Remus sputtered.

He swore he was always more uncomfortable with the situation than the actual snoggers.

The two students shared a private smile and quietly split ways. Remus stood by the window, right in front of the divination tower stairway and watched them scamper off. He frowned, they seemed rather happy with themselves.

The exhausted wizard lowered himself onto the first stair.

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**Flashback Start**

"Oy, could you go _any_ slower there Moony?" heckled an impatient and overly excited Sirius. He was bouncing, skipping and hopping down a long stretch of a dark hallway. The paintings watched on with patient curiosity. They knew by now that when those two were out of bed after hours, it usually meant a good piece of gossip to share.

"As a matter of fact I could. Would you like to see?" Remus grumbled back even though he knew the exuberant boy would ignore his bad mood. He was still sore from the transformation, it had only been one day. Exhaustion pulled heavily on him, causing his eyelids to droop.

"You are going to love it! More so than the time when Prongs and I hexed Snivelly's hair into a pink Afro and he had to shave it all off to remove the spell!" Sirius threw his head back and laughed somewhat darkly as he started up a set of stairs. He, on the contrary, seemed rather awake and alive for this time of night.

"Oh, was that for my enjoyment? I wasn't aware," he replied dryly.

Sirius gasped and made every attempt to look wounded. "That was your birthday present!"

"Lucky me," whispered Remus. The werewolf was pleased it was just the two of them. He inevitably felt out of sorts after a transformation but Sirius never seemed to mind. James would always try to be extra nice and ended up treating him like an invalid, but Remus just wanted to be treated normally. The sandy-haired boy didn't want to have to think about his werewolf side any more than he had to, especially right after a full moon. He had to be really careful around Peter too or the boy would start shaking. He suspected that the chubby marauder feared if he was too upset he would just morph back into the monster and tear the timid boy limb from limb.

Remus shuddered.

No, he preferred these private outings with Sirius right after a change. He ignored the werewolf's grumpy and unwelcoming demeanor completely and seemed happy enough for the both of them.

"Hey, where are James and Peter tonight?" Remus asked curiously.

"I told Peter you were growing some extra hair along your cheeks and your toenails were looking suspiciously claw-like, and asked if he thought it was anything to be concerned about. Then I told James that Lily was asking for him and was down in the dungeons, lost. I expect we won't see either of them at least for the rest of the night."

"Wait, that doesn't even make sense. How would you know where Lily was if she was lost? And, everyone knows she wouldn't entrust anything to-" Moony paused as he took in the sight ahead of him.

Remus felt a small warmth gather in his stomach and his grimace smoothed as he looked up at his friend standing by a window transfixed by whatever was out there. The soft light of the stars shone in on his smiling face and his black silky hair was gently rustled by the breeze. He had no idea why Sirius looked so satisfied with himself but his excitement was contagious.

"Look!" Sirius proudly pointed out the window, looking like a 5-year old showing off a new drawing to his parents.

Remus peered out the window curiously and frowned. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary. The Quidditch Pitch looked normal enough. He looked up at the sky, no magical messages or flying creatures. He leaned out the window slightly and sniffed the air, no out of the ordinary smells.

"I don't see anything," a confused Remus offered finally.

"Exactly!" Sirius triumphantly bellowed, scaring Remus slightly. His voice carried out the window and through the wind.

"You wanted to show me... nothing?" Remus was trying not to get annoyed. He was tired and his side was hurting from where the wolf had taken a nice chunk out of him.

"_Moon_y," Sirius emphasized part of his name, "there's no moon. It's like it doesn't even exist." He said it like it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Remus opened his mouth and then closed it, no noise escaping his lips. He started to feel his eyes start to burn. He blinked rapidly a few times, swallowing hard as his throat constricted.

"We can sit here together and pretend _it_ doesn't exist, that it's just you and me." He smiled more openly than Remus could ever remember, his eyes practically glowing.

The werewolf felt something in his chest. It was tight and tingly and almost hurt, and it made it impossible for him not to smile so big it was practically painful.

Remus reached out and without thinking hugged Sirius, his arms wrapped tightly around the taller boy's neck. The Black heir went rigid under his embrace for a few seconds but then slowly relaxed and wrapped his arms gently around the werewolf's waist.

"Happy Valentine's Day Moony."

**Flashback End**

* * *

Remus pushed himself off the stair and wiped at his eyes. He glared out the window at the sliver of moon. He moved out of the abandoned corridor and headed back to his study. Sleep tugged on his eyelids angrily.

He stuffed his hand into his pocket, pulling out the Honeydukes Emergency Comfort Chocolate Balls that he had carried around since second year. He popped one into his mouth.

* * *

MUCH THANKS to our first follower** -** **20BlueRoses**

_P.S. We know this is short, sorry! But how long do you expect poor Remus to stay up at night? He has class in the morning.  
_

_P.P.S. Despite our jesting, chocaholism kills tens of millions of cacao beans every year. Donate to your local rehabilitation center today. I hear they accept chocolate as a monetary value.  
_

**REVIEWS ARE LIKE HONEYDUKES FOR A CHOCAHOLIC. **


	3. Chocaholics Anonymous

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Yes, it is a well known fact that I have a very delicate constitution." -Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Chocaholism at its finest. Maybe some cursing, didn't check, but oh well.

**Disclaimer**: Nwo t'nod ew. - Get a mirror!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is a dual effort at a fanfic done by two separate authors. So expect subtle, though hopefully not overwhelming, differences from chapter to chapter.

******Thank you SadieA1**! Our 2nd follower. XOXO

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE - Chocaholics Anonymous**

* * *

Remus woke the next morning and headed to the kitchens. The house-elves greeted him with happy squeaks, stumbling over each other to run towards him. Many of the older ones remembered him from his school years.

Before he could even ask, a warm Honeydukes mug was shoved into his left hand. "Raspberry for Mondays!" Bobbles, one of the house elves who had always been particularly kind (she even replaced the silver dishes he ate on with fake silver for his own safety and convenience when he was young) chirped happily, sending him a warm smile.

Remus lifted the mug of steaming hot chocolate to his lips, inhaling the fumes deeply as it was too hot to drink yet. "Thank you, Bobbles," he said. "Yes, raspberry for Mondays," he agreed, surprised she'd remembered the hot chocolate's varying flavors throughout the week after all of these years.

On his way out of the kitchen, he noted a particularly oddly dressed elf. He was covered from head to toe in bright, colorful dressings. Two mismatched socks sat upon his ears, but a matching pair of yellow ones with watermelons sat upon his feet. He bounced around the kitchen happily, though many of the house-elves flinched at his presence and immediately moved away.

He seemed oblivious to their discomfort, simply happy to be there, wearing exactly as much clothing as he wanted.

Remus laughed to himself. Dumbledore certainly knew how to pick 'em. A werewolf Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, and a fashion-obsessed house elf. Really, his staffing methods were the least peculiar thing about him.

The werewolf returned to his classroom to see the first class of the day - the seventh years - piling in and settling their books neatly, and some not-so-neatly, on to their desks or the floor next to them.

"Good morning!" he said loudly, taking a small sip of the hot chocolate and turning to them all with a mild smile.

"Good morning Professor Lupin," a droll murmur swept through the room.

Lupin turned towards the board. "Today we're going to be working on the assignment that I mentioned at the beginning of term. Founding and creating your own defensive or sensory spell, furthermore the usage of the Latin language, and how exactly wandless magic functions."

A soft sound of excitement filled the classroom. Several heads poked up, twinkling with excitement. Some students grunted with frustration or irritability.

"So! Who can tell me, before we get this started, _what is a spell_?"

For a moment, silence stretched through the classroom.

"Anyone?" he encouraged.

One hand raised slowly into the air. A Ravenclaw boy by the name of Harris McKinney.

"Yes?" Lupin beamed.

"A spell is the combination of a Latin, Greek or Roman word and the control and direction of internal magic."

Lupin nodded. "Good, very straight to the point. Going from what you said - who can tell me what he means by 'internal magic'?"

Now several hands shot up. "Specifically, I am looking for a response on how it is used in wandlore and wandless magic."

One or two hands drifted downwards, though a couple wiggled with excitement at this statement. The professor's eyes scanned the room casually.

"Ah, yes, Oliver?" A Hufflepuff boy looked startled as his half-raised hand was chosen.

"Oh - me? Yes, okay, internal magic. Internal magic, or magical aura, is found within every living creature on the planet. An excess amount of magical aura, or 'soul' as the muggles call it, results in external magic. Magical aura strength and 'temperament' as wandmakers call it, seems to be somewhat genetic.

"What that means is that, in the example of muggleborns, if two muggles had particularly strong magical auras - though not strong enough to be dubbed muggleborns themselves - their children may inherit this aura and become a muggleborn witch or wizard.

"In another example, squibs are born from a witch and a wizard who did not have the most powerful magical aura themselves. On the flipside, there is in some cases simply a strong genetic mutation within the 'soul' or magical aura, causing a very powerful wizarding family to occasionally birth a squib regardless, or a very simple muggle family to produce a muggleborn.

"In wandlore, the temperament of a person's magical aura is observed through the correlation and agreement of a wand's magical qualities, and what witch or wizard it chooses. Why the compatibility exists, and what exactly the wand measures. Strength and personality are the two most noticeable. A 'chaotic' temperament of a magical aura is often paired off with, for example, wands with the core of a phoenix feather.

"Optionally, a phoenix feather may take to a peaceful - yet powerful magical aura as well. Wood seems to have no opinion on the wizard, rather it is paired with a core that does well with the magic it is meant to perform.

"For example, a unicorn hair may work well with charms work and therefore would be placed with particularly swishy wood. This wand may choose a wizard with a peaceful, inquisitive personality to best use its charms abilities, strength level might not be taken into as much consideration because of the unicorn hair's magical aura of peace.

"All creatures have magical auras and some parts of the world have a strong magical aura themselves. Stonehenge is a famous example. Areas filled with magical aura like Stonehenge or the grounds Hogwarts was built upon seem to draw the magic from the deepest part of the creature. For this reason, even the most simple of a muggle can visit these areas and feel their magical aura come to life as it is drawn to the surface. Hogwarts was built over one of these areas because of their use to draw a person's talents and skill to the very surface - the perfect place for teaching to take place.

"Wandless magic is the magical aura's way of connecting with the creature's emotions and mind. A strong desire or need not easily fulfilled can activate a strong magical aura, like that which is found in young witches or wizards or house-elves. A house elf has a strong desire to please their master - almost a need. For that reason, wandless magic comes to them with great ease.

"Children tend to be easily emotionally overwhelmed, which is why wandless magic is most common in younger ages. This is also why some pureblood families attempt to startle, frighten or anger their children into expressing some form of magic. It is not entirely unfounded in that if they can terrify or enrage the child enough, the child's magical aura will make itself known."

Remus sipped his hot chocolate thirstily at his desk, his eyes boring into the young man. For a Hufflepuff, he was entirely well-read.

Being a teacher taught Remus quickly to look at the students as individuals, instead of representatives of their house. Oliver was a striking example of this.

"Very good, very good. Fifteen points to Hufflepuff, I've not heard such an elaborate, informative speech in a while. Does anyone have any questions?"

A Ravenclaw girl raised her hand, her eyes boring into the back of Oliver's head as she did so.

"Yes?"

"Firstly, that was an interesting speech Oliver. If you would loan me or tell me the titles of the books that you found particularly useful in finding this information after class, I'd appreciate it."

Oliver's cheeks turned red, but he did not respond as the girl - Elizabeth? Emily? Something like that - continued.

"Secondly, Professor Lupin, how exactly does this all pertain to creating a spell?"

Remus grinned widely, setting down his mug of hot chocolate. "Ah, it all relates entirely to creating a spell. See, before you create something so deep and binding as a magical command, you have to understand what exactly you are doing. It's more than a movement of a stick and a repetition of some old Latin words. A spell should be a communication between the caster and his or her's magical aura. To communicate, you must first acknowledge and understand your aura's existence."

Students were hastily scribbling down notes, and Lupin's eyes darted to the watch on his wrist.

"Well," he said. "I'd like you all to begin an essay on the magical aura. Touch on wandlore, wandless magic, and aura personality. Page 37 in your book 'Advanced Defensive Spells' mentions the uses of having a healthy communication with your magical aura. By Friday I want you all to be able to identify your magical aura's personality and how it correlates with your wand, and to reiterate one instance in which, as a child, you performed wandless magic without meaning to. I expect a foot of parchment.

"I want particular emphasis on what 'communication' means in terms with your magical aura, as it is easy to see that it is not as simple as having a verbal or mental conversation with it."

The sound of quills scratching parchment and the fumbling with books filled the air. Remus plopped down into his cushy desk chair, taking another long sip of his hot chocolate.

He looked longingly at his secret chocolate drawer.

It wasn't that he was embarrassed or thought it was a bad example to set, eating chocolate in front of the students, it just didn't seem overly professional. He wanted to be able to command silence and obedience with his presence, but not terrify them or amuse them. He wanted to be taken seriously but in a positive way.

Oliver shot his hand into the air once more and Remus lifted his chin, nodding shortly at him to give him the go ahead to speak.

"Oh, and Professor Lupin, you have something ah, just there." He gestured to his upper lip and a bit of the area surrounding.

A couple giggles from the girls in the back swept through the classroom. Oliver himself repressed a grin.

He reached up, his tongue darting up involuntarily to swipe at whatever it was.

Ah, chocolate mustache.

Well, there goes commanding respect with his presence.

Chocaholism would be the death of him.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

It was the end of the fourth year for the just-turned fourteen year old werewolf, Remus Lupin. He slung his bag over his shoulder as he trooped up the steps to the boy's dormitory and out of the Gryffindor common room.

Most everyone was celebrating the end of the term. Remus however felt as though he could use a good, long nap. Idly he reached into his pocket and pulled out the chocolate bar he'd been munching on secretly throughout his exams.

Just as he entered his particular room and threw his bag haphazardly to the left of him, he noticed the strange set-up.

Several big, leather seats (ones that used to belong to the Slytherins but had been stolen in the dead of the night and transfigured into Gryffindor colors, long story there) were pulled up in a circle at the entrance of the room. There sat upon each one, except for the single empty seat, one of the boy's roomates.

Sitting at the chair directly in front of the entrance was Sirius Black, his fingers laced together and an expression of deep concern marring his features. He shook his head slowly as he noticed the werewolf slowly chew and swallow his chunk of Honeydukes chocolate.

To the left of Black sat Peter Pettigrew, and to his right sat James Potter. The black-haired, hazel-eyed boy was frowning very seriously, holding a struggling cat in his lap and petting it slowly.

Peter had the same confused expression that he always wore, but his lips were turned distinctly down and his eyebrows forcibly furrowed, most likely his attempt at a look of deep disappointment.

"Remus, take a seat," Sirius said morosely.

From James's lap, the cat gave a desperate meow and attempted to crawl its way out of his arms with no success.

For the first time, Remus noticed the banner hanging from the ceiling of the room. It read: "Chocaholics Anonymous, first meeting. **Say No No to Coco!**" Next to that was a childlike drawing of a hot chocolate cup with a large red "x" drawn over it. It appeared to be Peter's handiwork.

Remus blinked. "What the bloody hell is this?" he said rather bluntly.

James 'tsk-tsk'ed'. "One of the many symptoms, is it not? Irritability."

Sirius nodded. "One of the more severe. I still believe we can save him though. I have hope. Please, Remus, we're only trying to help you. Do sit down."

A look of bemusement on his features, Remus refused. "No, tell me what this is."

James flicked out his wand, and as if pushed by a sudden gust of wind, the young werewolf found himself flung into the plush leather chair.

"That's better," Sirius nodded his thanks and James nodded back, tucking his wand away.

"Lately, Remus, we've noticed a bit of an.. addiction-"

"-I think dependency is a better word-" Sirius supplied.

"-to the poison known as 'cacao products'.

"It is for this reason that we, your caring best mates, have decided to hold this intervention. Together, we can gather the strength to overcome this.. dependency of yours and offer healthier, happier alternatives." James finished, spreading his arms out wide to indicate the circle of friendship.

Sirius tacked on: "We would also like to discuss the possible reading and studying addictions that you are harboring."

Peter nodded very seriously.

Sirius looked to his left. "Peter here has come to show you first and foremost that you are not alone. Chocaholism is a serious problem that strikes thousands-"

James cut in: "-hundreds of thousands-"

"-probably even tens of millions of people around the world," Sirius finished.

Remus blinked slowly, looking to and from each of his friends' muted expressions of concern and intensity.

"You can't be serious," he finally said rather flatly.

"You think this is a joking matter?!" Sirius spluttered, too disgusted for the sake of the suffering cacao plants to even make the plainly obvious 'sirius' joke presented to him. "Tens of millions of cacao plants suffer every day because of this serious problem you are supporting, Remus! I am frankly astounded that you would think I have the audacity to joke about something like this!"

Remus gave Sirius a slow, deadpan stare before slowly rising out of his chair and moving past all of them, heading straight for his bed. He quietly rummaged through his trunk in search of his Honeydukes Emergency Comfort Chocolate Balls.

"You won't find any poison in there or anywhere in this room!" Sirius shouted triumphantly. He'd stood from his seat now, chin lifted and a broad, proud, determined grin splayed across his features.

Remus felt a short moment of panic before he began rummaging through the rest of his trunk. Finding all of his chocolate missing, he dove to the floor, scrambling underneath his bed and looking for his extra-super-secret hidden stash.

_Gone, gone, gone. It's all gone!_

Remus stood up quickly and turned, attempting to escape the room and leaping for his bag by the door before they could steal from it, as well.

"Remus, don't go, we only want to help! You have a real problem!" James cried desperately. He had dropped the cat, who Remus now recognized as the kitten Mrs. Norris, and had grabbed on to the sandy-haired boy's arm desperately.

"You guys are crazy, I can't believe you took all of them! What did you do with them anyways?" Remus shook his arm free of James's grasp and flinched at the thought of the various tortures they'd undoubtedly put his sweets through.

"We flushed them!" Peter declared with as much determination as he could muster. Remus rounded on him, eyes wide in nearly comical horror.

"Hahaha-" he laughed at first, before pausing as they all took on matching, solemn expressions. "You have got to be kidding me.."

"No, Remus we are not. You know, chocaholism is nothing to laugh about," Sirius growled, clearly still enraged by his lack of respect for the 'tens of millions of suffering cacao plants'.

The werewolf's mouth hung open as he tried to process the loss. "Monsters, you are all monsters!" Remus cried and fled the room.

"Monsters who care about you!" retorted Sirius angrily at Remus's back as he descended the stairs.

"Were those chocolate stains on his robe?" asked a still concerned James.

"I believe it would be too optimistic to think it mud," sighed a dejected Sirius.

**Flashback End**

* * *

Whew, informational chapter. Very few will be like this, so hope you enjoyed it! Slash coming soon!

Thanks for reading and reviews are always welcome!

:-D


	4. Birds in the Sea

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Peter's fine! Madame Pomfrey said that there wouldn't be any permanent lung damage." -Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Some werewolfy stress and a very angry Lily Evans. Practice your shield charms! I think some mild language, nothing extreme. Oh! Um, slash-ish-vibes? For real, not in my imagination this time.

**Disclaimer**: We own our rabid imaginations; nothing more. And a cat. Cats are furry.

**AUTHOR 1's NOTE:** Beachin' but still posting. Not sure if I should be proud or depressed. What do you think? (Said by Author 1: "So many words. So pretty. Pretty pretty words. So many. I want to hug them and pet them and squeeze them. Ow, they bit me!")

**AUTHOR 2'S NOTE:** This is a dual effort at a fanfic done by two separate authors. So expect subtle, though hopefully not overwhelming, differences from chapter to chapter. (Also, I am not beaching. Now that, my friends, is cause for being depressed.)

******Thank you NyeThomas**! Our 3rd follower. :)**  
**

**Thanks **to** behindthatcover** &** TechNomaNcer28,** and all anonymous reviewers. You guys are the best.

**RavenclawDoctorSilveo** -** thank you** for being our FIRST EVER favoriter! You rock! & a follower to boot!

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR - Birds in the Sea**

* * *

Remus rubbed his eyelids sleepily as he pushed through some more essays on werewolves. Damn Severus, giving his sixth years this essay.

Particular emphasis on how to recognize and kill one. Just _lovely_.

Identifying a werewolf can be a simple matter of recognizing patterns of behavior and correctly attributing them to lycanthropy; absences around the full moon, inexplicable caution around silver, and a predisposition towards rare steaks are all conventionally perceived to be good indicators of lycanthropy.

_Werewolves tend to be physically fit. They often grey and wrinkle long before their time. Watching the lunar cycle carefully and perceiving those who fall ill regularly around the time of the full moon is the simplest way to spot a werewolf with absolute certainty._

His eyes skimmed the rest of 'identifying the infection' part of the essay lazily. It wasn't like he didn't know all of this, anyway. Absentmindedly he reached up to touch the greying hairs near his temples.

_Killing a werewolf is not so different than killing a normal human. A killing curse will suffice in most cases, as will severe wounds, burns, and so on. That in mind, werewolves have a certain immunity (while transformed) to many spells. Certain ones including stupefy, petrificus totalus and the imperius curse._

_Werewolves have a particular weakness to silver. The ministry has long used silver daggers and swords to end the lives of criminal werewolves. When werewolves are restrained to a reservation overlooked by the ministry, they are surrounded by a tall silver gate._

_Silver has a burning effect on a werewolf. When touching their skin, transformed or not, the skin will immediately become puffy and red. It will begin to blister with prolonged contact. This may lead to infection or permanent scarring or damage. It also seems to paralyze the wolf's mind, temporarily forcing him to disassociate and his body to lock itself into place. Again, prolonged contact can lead to loss of consciousness._

_Some experiments have been done but it has been shown that simply constant, forceful contact with silver will not kill a werewolf on its own. It is either driven insane by the pain, dehydrated, killed by the blisters and infections of the skin or starves to death._

_Arguably, silver is not a means to killing a werewolf, but simply to torturing and subduing-_

Disgust overwhelmed him temporarily, the middle-aged werewolf shoved all of the papers off of his desk in a momentary fit of rage. He fumbled for his chocolate drawer, ripping out a bar of muggle chocolate and took a ferocious chunk out of it without even checking the flavor.

Orange and dark chocolate. Fascinating, the things muggles did with chocolate. A particularly interesting flavor was sea salt and dark chocolate.

After a moment or so he calmed himself down, taking deep breaths to soothe himself.

A knock came from the front of the classroom.

Remus stuffed the chocolate back in the drawer and wiped his mouth on his sleeve hastily. "Err, come in!" he called. He stood from his chair and moved to begin picking up the mess of papers he'd thrown to the floor in his momentary rage.

Two sixth - or possibly seventh, he couldn't remember or tell - girls waltzed into the room. Both had dark hair and light eyes. One girl with curly long locks and blue eyes, one with shoulder length straight hair and vibrant green eyes.

"Professor," the blue-eyed one chirped. "Would you like some help with that?"

She immediately leaned down and began to delicately scoop up a couple papers. She looked at him very intentionally and leaned uncomfortably close to where he was crouched on the floor.

He sat back, pushing his weight into his heels, disturbed by this invasion of his space. "Ah, why, yes, thank you," he said. The other girl squeaked something that he could not entirely make out and also dove down, beginning to scramble the papers and things together as well.

Within a few moments the girls had gathered all the papers and placed them back on his desk.

He thanked them both before he returned to his seat, looking up from the papers with a tired smile. "What can I do to help you girls?" he inquired politely.

"We were hoping you could help us with the werewolf essay that Professor Snape assigned when you were out of town," the blue-eyed girl said, fluttering her eyelashes in a weird manner. Remus wondered if she had some debris in it.

"Of course, what is it you needed help with?" he said, trying to hide his general irritation with the assignment.

"Well, we're having a bit of trouble with the emphasis on identifying one. We need at least six methods of identification for our NEWTs, but I can really only think of the two, early aging and watching for illness around the lunar cycle."

Lupin pressed his lips together, nodding. "You both need help with this?" he inquired, looking briefly to the other, more quiet, girl.

She nodded stiffly, flushed as he turned his gaze to her, and directed her attention down into her lap.

"Right," he said slowly. "Right." He cleared his throat and sighed. "Well, a good point to make is the general scarring found on a werewolf. They are often damaged from the transformations. The wolves they turn into get into a lot of trouble, sometimes even attacking themselves. More often than that getting into scraps with other magical creatures."

As he stated this, he felt the two prominent scars across his face practically burn with embarrassment. He felt a familiar twinge of pain in the largest scar on his left side. The initial scar, from when he was first bitten.

They both nodded with rapt attention. He resisted the urge to cover or rub at his scars.

"Ah, it is commonly employed by the ministry to request the suspect werewolf to hold a sickle for you. Their skin should react to the silver. Avoidance of sickles, certain kinds of plates, bowls and silverware is a common sign."

"That's amazing," the green-haired girl said breathlessly, leaning across the desk slightly.

He looked up from his papers uncomfortably, suddenly taken aback by the startling green of her eyes.

Something was painfully, and disconcertingly familiar about that expression, and those eyes.. Those eyes..

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"Rough day?"

Remus started at the voice and then hunched over even further behind his fourth year potions textbook.

_One must remember to stir 3 times counterclockwise, then pause for half a stir's time and then make a 3/4 stir clockwise before adding the sliced mandrakes. If not followed exactly the potion may have a slightly more transparent appearance when viewed under the Lumos charm, after a shelf life of 200 years._

_Fascinating._

"Do you need any help with Charms later? We could compare notes."

He cautiously peered up at the persistent voice, keeping half of his face still hidden behind his book.

Yep. It was _her_.

Remus looked back down and tried to keep his internal shiver from manifesting itself externally. When did she even sit down? She was like a ninja.

"Remus, don't you think it would be _fun_ to go to Hogsmeade together this weekend?" He looked up again and into the very green eyes of Lily Evans. He didn't respond as a partially eaten Honeyduke's Chocolate Foot Long Twizzle Stick dangled from his mouth.

Lily Evans was looking at him.

Lily Evans was now looking and smiling hopefully at him.

This was not good. Not good at all.

He murmured something and chewed on his twizzle, his heart beating too hard for his ears to hear what his mouth had said.

He had been trying desperately to avoid Lily ever since she had kissed him - as a thanks, she had explained afterwards - for helping her with Potions homework around a week ago.

Lupin was not satisfied with her explanation for many reasons. First, the red-haired Gryffindor did not need help with Potions. She was top of the class. Why she had even asked for help was still a mystery to him.

Second, Remus had noticed that since said-kiss she had been more persistent about spending time with him. Every time he thought he had given her the slip she would just appear beside him and would be mid-conversation about something or other. He would suspect she was using disapparation to gain the upper hand, except it wasn't possible on Hogwart's ground. He had double-checked this morning.

Lastly, when did people start giving out kisses as a thank you for homework assistance? He had helped Sirius almost every day for years and never elicited that response.

Lily Evans had snogged Remus Lupin.

Remus shook his head.

James was going to be so mad. Sirius was probably going to be even angrier, but Lupin wasn't exactly sure why.

However, the worst part for the snoggee - as he had not reciprocated - was that he did not know how he felt about it at all. He had never been kissed by a girl, excepting family members. He thought it would have been more...more pleasing? He had heard other wizards talking about their snogging experiences and they had definitely enjoyed it, so much so in fact that they seemed addicted to it once they started.

As a prefect he knew many of the couples found after curfew were repeat offenders. It was so sad, almost like they couldn't control themselves. Remus picked up another twizzle as he contemplated on it.

It seemed to Lupin the main thing that concerned him was that not only did he not want to snog Lily again, but that he couldn't see himself wanting to snog any other witch either. Perhaps it was only because he was still traumatized from Lily's kiss.

"Alright Evans?" asked a menacingly aristocratic voice from behind Remus.

_Oh, no._ No good ever came out of Sirius when he used that tone. Remus started studying from his book even more aggressively. He couldn't let the appearance of his potion slightly alter after centuries.

"Black." Lily lifted her chin in dislike in response to his rude greeting.

"Oy, Moony, mate. Are you feeling any better?" Remus looked up to see a suspiciously concerned-looking Sirius.

"Huh?" Remus was confused. It wasn't like Sirius to point out when Remus was feeling sick right after a full moon. He didn't want people to get suspicious.

"If you need I could ask Madame Pomfrey for some more of those anti fungal pads for you. For you know, your little problem _down there_," Sirius whispered to a still confused Remus far too loudly to be discreet.

"Oh shut it, Black. You just can't stand it when a girl talks to anyone but you. However, I'm not so easy to scare off, so you're wasting your time." Lily squared her shoulders at the reckless marauder.

"Indeed?" Sirius's smile grew even larger, his teeth showing, at the perceived challenge.

_Not good at all._ Remus fought the urge to get up and run for shelter. He had given up trying to read his book and was instead just blatantly hiding behind it now without shame. He did not want to get between one of their fights. They both had explosive tempers and who knew what kind of errant hex might find the exhausted werewolf if he got in the middle of their spat.

"Remus, are you going to just sit there and let him do this?" she demanded of Remus.

"Remus, are you going to just sit there and let him do this?" Sirius mimicked the girl's voice with his hands on his hips.

Remus bit back a smile.

"Oh real mature Black. I swear you are such a...such an arse!" Lily hurled, her anger rising.

"Oh my, did you just hear that foul language? Come Remus, I think she might be a bad influence on you!" Sirius insisted as he grabbed the werewolf's sore arm, dragging him up from his seat. His book dropped onto the ground.

"No, he's not going anywhere with you if he doesn't want to!" Lily grabbed his other equally sore arm just as he had started to reach down for his dropped book. Remus looked down morosely at the disheveled text.

"Let go of him right away. I don't want my BEST mate to catch anything from the likes of you!" Sirius jerked Remus closer to his side, but still Lily did not let go. Lupin looked at Sirius and noted that his face had started to turn an interesting shade of purple. _Is he breathing?_

Remus made an attempt to stop the fight, it was getting a bit out of hand. "Maybe I should just go with Sirius, Lily. It's not good to let him get this riled up. It will take forever to calm him back down."

"Yes, it is a well known fact that I have a very delicate constitution. Shame on you." Sirius sniffed and laid his head on Remus's shoulder.

Remus felt himself relax some and absentmindedly lifted his hand and patted Sirius's head. Sirius turned his face and rubbed his cheek into the werewolf's hand as he smiled, unknown to the peacemaker, tauntingly at the fuming girl.

Lily dropped Remus's arm. Her eyes widened with realization as she took in the scene but then quickly hardened with determination.

She now glared daggers at him but Sirius continued as if he took the look for encouragement, "Unlike yourself, who has _clearly_ developed some rather dark tendencies. It's probably from hanging around that greasy Snivellus," Sirius chided her and then put one arm around Remus's shoulder and not so discreetly sniffed his neck.

"You smell _so_ good Moony, is that the new cologne I bought you? Too bad you can't smell it too Evans, but it's charmed so as not to attract bitties such as yourself," Sirius goaded the now jealous looking girl.

Remus grimaced apologetically and lazily swatted at Sirius but didn't seem to want to try to hard to stop him.

"I expected more from you Remus. Especially after our kiss the other day," Lily said as she stared pointedly at Sirius, intensely waiting for his reaction.

The black-haired boy stiffened and slowly let his arm drop off Remus's shoulder, lifting his head. He showed no expression on his face. The werewolf's anxiety started to increase again as his friend moved deliberately away.

"It wasn't like that Sirius. She was just thanking me for helping her is all," Remus hurriedly tried to explain to the grey eyed boy.

Sirius ignored him and lifted his hand as if to block Remus from saying anything else. He turned his full penetrating gaze on Lily.

"Snogging, eh? We'll see about that." Then he turned around, not giving Remus a second glance, and walked away with a smile on his face. Remus frowned. It wasn't a nice smile though.

* * *

"Aghhhhhh! She's going to kill me!" Sirius ran down the hallways only stopping to push first years over to slow down whoever was chasing him. He used them almost like ammo as he tossed them back to slow down or possibly hit his yet to be seen pursuer.

Sirius spotted Remus, James and Peter as they stood outside their Charms class and ran over to them.

"Hide me for Merlin's sake! I'm too handsome to die!" Sirius jumped behind the other three marauders and whimpered.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" Lily Evans had just appeared from the other end of the hallway. She stepped over the first years not even giving them a second glance. "I _will_ find you!" she threatened.

Lily scanned the area and quickly zoned in on the boys and made her way over.

"I know you're hiding him. Move aside and we won't have a problem-"

"-don't believe anything she says. She's evil I tell you!"

"What is going on?" Remus glanced over his shoulder at a clearly terrified Sirius and then back at a furious Lily Evans.

"That's strictly between us, now step aside," Lily commanded and lifted her wand. The boys tightened their wall of protection in front of their hiding friend.

"Lies I tell you, lies!" Sirius had started rocking back and forth on the ground.

"Now Lily. Please, you know we can't do that. Maybe you two could just have a rational conversation and clear whatever this is up. I have complete faith that you will find Sirius to be very reasonable," Remus hopefully offered.

Lily's eyes flared like green flames. A hex flew wordlessly from her wand but Remus retaliated with a bellow of: "Protego!" quickly enough to block the hex.

"Lily, _please_! I can see you are very upset. But I really think it would be prudent if you took some time to calm down. Sirius can be absolutely infuriating at times, but he never means any harm. I wouldn't protect him if I thought there was a chance he had done anything malicious towards you. He just gets a little excited sometimes and needs reeled back in. I know you don't really want to hurt him or us," Remus tried to reason with Sirius' attacker.

Lily seemed taken aback by the speech and looked closely at the protective werewolf. She appeared to be deciding something.

She sighed, "Fine, I give up Black." Lily conceded and lowered her wand, her shoulders drooping ever so slightly in defeat.

She then quickly pulled herself together and glared again at the boys' legs, trying to get a glimpse of the cowering Sirius. "But you better remember what I said Black! You will not waste...this opportunity...or treat it flippantly. _It_ deserves better than you." Lily cryptically warned the hiding boy.

Sirius only mumbled something unintelligible, but it seemed to appease the now much calmer Gryffindor Alala.

She then turned her gaze to a very worried Remus, her eyes softening as she apologized, "I'm really sorry Remus, I truly think you're a great guy, but I think it best for everyone if we remained only friends."

Remus just nodded in consent. Lily looked at him once more, forced a smile and then turned and stalked away.

James turned his head to Remus, shock and some hint of betrayal on his features. "You were more than friends?"

Remus shrugged. "In her mind."

James seemed to accept this very quickly as if he hadn't really believed otherwise.

Sirius jumped up as soon as Lily's back was turned and patted Remus on the back. "Tough luck mate. You have rotten luck with birds."

"Yes, I wonder why that is," Remus muttered sarcastically. He was running over Lily's words to Sirius in his head. What exactly had she been going on about?

"I bet she will need some comforting. I should go find her!" James ran off after Lily.

Remus stood there, frowning in thought. _What would Sirius and Lily both want?_

"Don't worry Moony, there are plenty of birds in the sea," Sirius offered helpfully, wrapping an arm around the werewolf's shoulders.

"You mean fish."

"What?"

"You meant fish, not birds"

"No, birds, Remus. Birds."

** Flashback End**

* * *

"Professor Lupin?"

Remus started, stolen from his memories by the delicate voice. He blinked several times, looking at both girls flushed cheeks and fluttering eyelashes.  
Understanding dawned on him as he realized neither of them had even bothered to take notes, either.

"Oh, right, ah, I'm sorry about that," he apologized. "Girls, here are some books that I think you should check out from the library-" he said before pausing, finding a spare piece of parchment and scribbling down some of the more pleasant werewolf informational textbooks. One was in the restricted section, so he included his signature of permission "-but I really am busy grading these papers. The research is not hard, I assure you. I've already given you two to add to the two you already had. Find two more. There are thousands of methods employed to identifying a werewolf, just find some of the more common ones and you'll be golden."  
He said it all in a very rushed way, shoving the parchment into one of the girls' hands, standing and walking them hurriedly towards the door of the classroom.

"Oh but Professor I really think we'd benefit if you would just read the books with us or go over some more methods with us," one of the girls, he didn't bother checking which, drawled in what she surely thought was a seductive tone.

Remus shuddered, his stomach curling with distaste.

"No, no, I really think you two can help each other. Really, I think you'll find reading by yourself in a nice, quiet, secluded area and simply enjoying the text and reading, reading it all, they're very long textbooks I assure you, you'll be very busy for a very long time I'm sure, and you'll find exactly what you need without my help. In fact, I think since Proessor Snape assigned this essay he's probably the best to ask, you know. Yes, indeed, any further questions, Professor Snape can answer."

He then slammed the door shut behind the two girls, locking the bolt quickly, without waiting for a response.

* * *

**Much thanks for all the support, favorites, followers, reviews and reading guys. xoxo**

Please Review! :-D


	5. Dementors Suck

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"It's clear what's happened here, Santa loves me best." - Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Um, language, mebbe ? Mebbe.

**Disclaimer**: Cats are also very soft... _Soft kitty. Warm kitty. Little ball of fur. Happy kitty. Sleepy kitty. Purr. Purr. Purr._

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** This is a dual effort at a fanfic done by two separate authors. So expect subtle, though hopefully not overwhelming, differences from chapter to chapter.

**Sorry for taking so long to update I smell like old butthead mcface and didn't read and post the chapter until today. - "Author 1"  
**

**Author 2 shakes her head in disappointment, at least she knows she's lame.**

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE - Dementors Suck  
**

* * *

Remus stifled yet another yawn as he finally finished grading the last vampire essay and placed it neatly on top of his completed pile. The DADA professor had found teaching to be essentially a whole _lot_ of paper cuts and never-ending exhaustion.

He stretched his arms up toward the sky and groaned, blinking groggily at the ceiling.

It'd been a long day.

He stood, brushing the wrinkles out of his worn robes and moved towards a jumping, angry trunk that had been placed near the back of the class room. He had Patronus Charm practice scheduled with Harry tonight.

The dementors had taken a particular interest in him, going so far as to attack him whilst he was playing in his most recent Quidditch match, which had resulted in Harry falling off his broom. Dumbledore had saved Harry with a cushioning charm but his broom, an expensive one to Remus's understanding, had been blown into the sadistic limbs of the Whomping Willow. The once cutting-edge flying contraption was now nothing more than a pile of splintery wood.

While the professor felt awful about the Seeker's loss, he was more concerned about his personal safety. Harry needed to be able to protect himself should he ever find he was in a situation without someone such as Dumbledore or Lupin to protect him. He needed to be able to to protect his life, and soul for that matter. The loss of one's soul was considered by many a fate worse than death.

Remus shivered. He could not even begin to imagine James and Lily's son in that state nor did he particularly want to. The disheveled werwolf leaned over and grabbed one of the handles of the possessed looking trunk and began to pull it. There was a timid knock at the classroom door just as Remus finished dragging the trunk to the center of the room.

"Come in!" he called over his shoulder, as he situated the trunk into its final position with a grunt.

The door clicked open and closed from behind him. "Professor Lupin," an excited Harry Potter greeted.

Lupin turned with a small smile at the boy. "Wotcher, Harry," he greeted warmly.

So like his father in appearance he was. Tousled, unruly black hair, thick glasses, long awkward limbs with pointy elbows and knobbly knees. There were subtle differences, of course. Harry was thinner. His general appearance was softer, possibly simply from his less mischievous countenance. He was a bit shorter than James had been at that age, probably from a lack of proper sleep and poor eating habits (though undoubtedly more his guardians fault than his own).

He was also, most noticeably, quieter. In many ways, he reminded Lupin more of himself in personality than he did either James or Lily.

"Are you ready?" Remus said, clapping his hands together with a grin.

Harry nodded.

"Good," Remus said. "So, what do you know about the Patronus Charm, Harry? Or, simply the patronus itself."

Harry paused. "Hermione mentioned them once," he finally said. Lupin repressed a chuckle, a smile curling up the corners of his mouth. "Ah," he said. "I see."

Harry flushed with some embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Professor," he said.

Lupin shrugged. "No matter. There's not much to be said, honestly. The patronus charm is used for two main purposes - repelling dementors, and to send messages faster and more discreetly than an owl. Now, a patronus is the form which the charm takes, when done perfectly. It is not expected that you will see your patronus take a form today, or even for several years in the future. It is a difficult charm Harry, and for that reason, any sort of response at your age is a brilliant success. Believe it or not, there are many adult wizards who cannot fully produce a patronus."

Harry nodded. "What form does a patronus usually take?" he inquired.

Remus paused. "It takes the form of true happiness," he finally answered. "Whatever animal - it almost always takes the form of an animal, that is - most clearly, in whatever subtle way, represents true and pure bliss in your mind." His mind briefly switched to his own patronus. A big fluffy dog, tongue lolling, eyes rolling back and forth wildly. "It is also used for identifying what animal you would become should you choose to become an animagus," he added as an after-thought. "Though, this is not always a good way to be sure of the animal you will become. The animagus is the animal you are born with, the patronus can change if there is a strong enough emotional upheaval in your life."

Harry nodded slowly.

Remus coughed. "I got off-topic, sorry. Anyway, the patronus charm. First, put your wand away, and clearly speak the incantation: _Expecto patronum_."

"Expecto patronum."

"Louder," Remus corrected. "You are projecting your voice into the charm. As you saw back on the train with my silent patronus, it is noticeably weaker when not spoken."

"Expecto patronum!" Harry's eyebrows furrowed with determination.

Lupin nodded. "Good, good. Now, as you say it, the key is imagining the happiest, strongest feeling of pure joy you have ever experienced. Do you understand? A memory so powerful that the feeling becomes more overwhelming within you than the memories that the dementor is feeding you. Truly, the happiest you have ever been."

Harry paused, casting his gaze to the ground and narrowing his eyes in concentration. Remus cringed as he realized the hardest bit of this for him so far was finding a memory he deemed truly happy.

_What would James think if he could see all Harry had been through.._

Would he blame Remus? The grown marauder knew James would have wanted _someone_ to be there for Harry. But honestly, what good would _he_ have done? He was not elected god-father, nor was he the secret-keeper, he was just the forgotten, _werewolf_ school friend. He was without a job more than not, as he struggled to make due. Also there was the little fact that he was a ravenous, dangerous, murderous monster one day of the month and sick another week of the month.

No, he had done what was best. In fact, he was sure James' son had been better off up until now for Remus's absence.

However, he could not pass up his chance to help Harry keep himself safe from those evil soul eaters. He wouldn't let him end up a feast, like his god-father.

He turned with a hard glint in his eye gesturing towards the impatient trunk.

Harry's eyes lit up noticeably as he prepared himself for the challenge. That was one distinct trait from his mother, at least. He had extraordinarily expressive eyes, just like her. "Are you ready to give it a go?" Remus inquired.

Harry nodded as he focused on the latch of the trunk.

Without waiting for more of a confirmation, Lupin turned, quickly unlatching the trunk and stepped away so that the boy would be the wizard to influence the boggart's appearance.

Harry stood, wand ready. Without even hesitating on choosing its form the boggart floated up out of the trunk cloaked in the wispy black robes of a dementor. Immediately, warmth fled the room. A chill ran down Remus's spine, and his ears began to ring with noise.

_Snarls, ripping of flesh. Burning, pulling, screaming. His mother's voice, his father's shouts. His side was burning, burning - on _fire_._

"Expecto patronum!" Harry shouted.

Nothing came from the tip of his wand, the boggart advanced.

_Howling, so loud. So many. Howls._

_Rip, rip, burning, burning, bleeding._

_Hot, sticky._

"Expecto patronum.." Harry said, weaker this time. He staggered backwards a few steps.

The boggart swooped towards his lips.

Could a boggart perform the Dementor's Kiss in this form?

"Expect-ah.."

The boy dropped his wand and his eyes slipped closed as the boggart began inhaling sharply.

Remus's ears filled with ringing but he pushed himself in front of the now unconscious boy. The boggart assesed him, swirling momentarily in place before he was presented with the eerie glow of the full moon.

"Riddikulus!" he spat. The moon turned to a balloon, squealing as it blew away from the two weakened Gryffindors and back into its hiding place.

He dropped the lid on the boggart, latching it closed once again.

The werewolf trapsed over to his desk, removing a spare bar of Honeyduke's chocolate from his desk drawer. He turned around, returning to the boy's unconscious form.

"Renervate," he said quietly, gently pointing his wand in the direction of Harry's body.

Harry jolted up, eyes popping open as he absorbed his surroundings with a confused look.

Remus thrust some chocolate into his empty palm and fetched his wand from where it had fallen a foot away from him. He placed it next to the boy.

"Eat the chocolate," he ordered stiffly, trying to push down the memories the faux-dementor had forced into the forefront of his mind. "It really, really helps," he said with an encouraging nod.

As if to support his statement, he took a rather large bite himself.

Harry slowly chewed off a small piece of the chocolate. "That was one nasty dementor," he said after a momentary pause.

Remus laughed. "That was a _boggart_ Harry. The real thing will be much more powerful."

A moment of silence passed between the two.

"Out of curiosity Harry what memory was it you chose?" he finally asked. Lupin extended a hand to the black-haired boy, helping him back to his feet.

Harry paused, "The first time I rode a broom," he said.

Remus started, looking at Harry directly. He frowned in thought.

"Well that's not good enough. Not nearly good enough. That's fun, Harry, broomsticks are fun. But the memory you need to use has to be one of happiness in a pure, simple form. A broomstick is not emotionally deep, like that of.. love."

Harry tilted his head to one side, idly pinching the top of a flame of a candle. "Well, there is, one memory. Well, I'm not even sure if it's a memory. It's more of a feeling actually," he hesitated. "But it's the best I've got."

Remus nodded. "Let's give it a try then," he said gently, his temper finally cooling from the horrid memories.

Again Harry stood, wand at the ready. Remus unlatched the trunk once again, stepping out of the way.

This time, just as the chill entered the room, the incantation sprang from Harry's lips, loud and clear. A faint blue glow emitted from his wandtip, and then a large blue shield. The boggart pushed on the patronus charm, confused, and then began to move back until it was forced back into the trunk. Remus closed it quickly.

Remus's grin consumed his features. "Yes, yes you've got it!" he cried. "Good job Harry, good job!"

Harry's grin nearly went ear to ear. "I did it," he said.

Remus laughed. "Yes, you did."

They both settled down on the steps. Remus passed him another piece of chocolate and Harry chomped down appreciatively.

Remus snickered at the thought of what James and Sirius would have done if they could see him dragging poor Harry into chocaholism. A smirk rounded his features.

"It was my parents," Harry said shortly, not even noticing Remus's amusement.

Lupin turned his head to look at the boy, eyebrows raised.

"The memory," he elaborated. "It was just their voices. Them.. talking to me. I'm not even sure if it's real."

Remus nodded slowly. Unsure of how to show manly, teacherly but friend-of-your-father-ly affection, he remained quiet for several moments.

"All that matters is how it makes you feel," he settled on finally.

"Professor?" Harry said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"You've got a bit of chocolate-" Remus glanced over at him. "-just there." Harry proceeded to gesture all over his face, including his forehead.

Remus paused, before acknowledging the joke of the statement.

He took it back. Harry was undoubtedly like his father.

Glaring mockingly at him, Remus turned away, discreetly scraping at where he knew there was a bit of chocolate smeared on his face.

"You know, chocolate dependency _is_ a serious problem, sir. Not unlike house elves' rights," Harry offered in a serious tone.

Remus gave him a slow, mystified look, simply lost for words.

* * *

Later that night he pulled the Marauder's Map across his desk, idly scanning it again for the one name he wanted to see most desperately. For whatever reason, good or bad.

But no. Bands and herds of students whom he didn't care to think about at the moment. Empty corridors. A constantly pacing Dumbledore. A skulking Severus, a sneaking Filch.

Nothing new, nothing out of the ordinary.

Painfully _nothing._

Remus closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, resting his scarred cheek against his desk.

He'd just rest his eyes. Just for a moment.

Images danced behind his eyelids. His first patronus charm. A fluffy black dog, a slimy lick across his cheek. _Padfoot, silly, silly Padfoot.._

The darkness behind his eyelids kidnapped him.

* * *

**Thanks so much for all the support guys, ahhh you're all so great.**


	6. Down Came the Rain

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"To my defense, I thought the dungbombs would help with the smell." -Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Slashy vibes, angst, extreme MCS (moonstrual cycle swings) and unsupervised water play.

**Disclaimer**: ACHOOOOO!

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** This is a dual effort at a fanfic done by two separate authors. So expect subtle, though hopefully not overwhelming, differences from chapter to chapter. Note: Author 1 should not seek revenge because, she really does smell. Comma intentionally misplaced for no reason.

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX - Down Came the Rain  
**

* * *

**Flashback Dream Start**

Remus sniffed at the air. The werewolf smelled something familiar, his chest warmed. He took a deep breath in; it stirred up feelings of happiness and excitement. Then he felt something. There was something heavy pushing down on his stomach. Remus tensed. Someone was sitting on him. And what was that noise?

"-bitsy spider went up the water spout!"

"Ahhhhhhhghgghgkk gkk gkk gkk agh," Remus's cries turned to choking as water sprayed into his open mouth.

Remus shot up off his pillow and knocked a surprised Sirius to the floor.

"What was that for!" the sixth-year demanded incredulously as he brushed himself off and stood up.

"What? What do, what do you mean? What in the world were you doing? You almost drowned me!" Remus was furiously wiping at his dripping face with his equally soaked sleeve.

"Just be glad that you're not Peter right now," James muttered as he walked into the dorm, running a hand through his wet hair. He sat down on his bed to take off his shoes and glared darkly at the Black heir.

"I don't think that will be too hard Prongs," Sirius replied flippantly.

Remus looked over to Peter's bed to see what James was on about for himself, but Peter was not there. It was however soaked and the blankets were strewn on the floor. "Wait, where is Wormtail?" Remus had his suspicions.

"Padfoot here-"

"-Peter is fine! Madame Pomfrey said that there wouldn't be any permanent lung damage!" Sirius cut James off.

Both boys stared accusingly at the dry boy, but he didn't seem to notice.

"I think the main thing is that we don't let Peter's...incident...get in the way of today's celebration. Peter would have wanted it that way. I mean, it's Christmas Day!" With that exclamation the animagus dog ran out of the room and down the stairs.

"We probably _should _go check on Peter," the sandy haired boy reasoned, wistfully staring out towards the common room.

"Yeah, but maybe Sirius _was_ on to something. Peter really wouldn't_ want_ to put a damper on the festivities." James too was looking at the invisible trail Sirius had just made.

The two wet boys exchanged dubious glances for a moment, a grin soon unwillingly crossed both their faces and they jumped up, making a mad dash for the stairs.

* * *

"Oh my. Oh my, my. Looky here. I just can't believe it." Sirius was sitting in front of the common room Christmas tree looking at the presents under it.

"Oy, mates! You made it just in time." Sirius beamed up at his two friends.

James and Remus hurried over to the tree to look for their presents.

"Here's one for Sirius. Here you go-"

"-Thanks Prongs!"

"Here's another one for Sirius-"

"Excellent, just set it here on my pile."

"Here's one for, oh, Sirius."

"-Thanks Moony. I'll get it to it as soon as I can."

"Wait a minute. All of these are for Sirius!" James looked suspiciously at the distracted boy.

"You're right, Sirius. Sirius. Sirus! This one is from my Grammy to Sirius!" Remus was looking at the tag on a crumpled piece of wrapping paper. He turned, glaring at Sirius, who had just pulled on a red jumper with the initials RJL monogrammed on it.

"It's a little tight, but I guess your Grammy forgot to take into account how much muscle I've put on recently. I'll have to mention that oversight to her when I meet her," Sirius critiqued Lupin's 90-year old grandmother's knitting ability.

He looked up to see his two friends staring and walking deliberately towards him, holding their wands out.

"Now guys, I can explain this." Sirius raised his hands, attempting to appease the aggressors. "It's clear what's happened... Santa obviously loves me best." At that, Sirius jumped up to run but was knocked over with a tripping spell from James' wand.

Remus then lifted his wand, "Prongs I think we should give Sirius _our_ present now. It's not fair to make him wait."

"No guys. I really don't need anything from you. Your friendship is enough-"

"Peter would have wanted it that way." James ignored him, nodding solemnly.

* * *

The four marauders sat around the tree in the Gryffindor common room.

Peter had gotten back from the infirmary. He only had a little cough now, but had been given strict instructions from Madame Pomfrey to rest as much as possible.

"Here you go Wormtail, it's from your mum." Sirius handed the resting boy a large square present.

"Uh, thanks Padfoot." Peter looked down at the wet present but didn't say anything. He seemed happy Sirius was being nice to him.

"Padfoot, stop handing out the presents. You're getting them all soaked," James complained.

"Moony, a present for you! It looks fancy." Sirius handed Remus a present with a barely contained smile on his face.

Remus looked down at the present. The wrapping was a black velvet material and there were silver stones imbedded in it that looked almost like stars. Remus gently ran his hand over the material in awe. The crystals twinkled as his fingers passed over them.

"The wrapping isn't the present Remus." Lupin was startled out of his reverie by the soft voice at his ear.

He looked over surprised to see Sirius had sat down beside him on the floor. He was trying to look casual but his features were a little strained. He looked almost nervous.

Remus felt his heart beat increase ever so slightly. He looked back down at the present and carefully began pulling at the edges of the wrapping so as not to rip it. He pulled away the last piece to reveal an ancient looking text.

_Lycanthropy: An Informational Guide_

Remus gasped. He had heard of this work. Supposedly this was the only book on werewolves that was actually written in order to _help_ werewolf sufferers. There were only a handful of the texts still in print, as most of them had been collected and burned by anti-werewolf groups.

The work was considered very controversial when it was published because it greatly contradicted the hundreds of other books on werewolves already out, that merely condemned and demonized people infected with the disease. Remus had read every werewolf book he could find when he first got to Hogwarts. However, he had given up after reading 20 different authors' views on why and how monsters, like Remus, should be exterminated immediately after creation.

He reverently opened the book and stared at the picture on the front page. It wasn't the classic werewolf picture used. This animal looked mostly like a regular arctic wolf, except it was more muscular, had slighter longer legs and a larger snout.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? That's how you look Moony. But your fur is a sandy color, like your hair." Sirius curled a piece of the werewolf's hair around one of his fingers. Remus sucked in a breath as his chest tightened. He had been admiring the wolf too, but hearing Sirius' words had shaken him out of it. This wolf, this beast would kill _Sirius_ if he wasn't in his animagus form. He, Remus Lupin, would murder his best friend without a second thought. He didn't deserve this or _him_.

"It's not beautiful, it's a monster. _I'm_ a monster Sirius. Why did you get this for me?" Remus's eyes had started to burn.

Sirius looked at the boy, clearly confused by his words. "I've been looking for this book for over 6 months. I thought you'd really like it."

"Well, unfortunately you were mistaken. I hope you have better luck with the present you bought Emily," Remus replied flatly and stood up, leaving the book and wrapping on the floor. He knew he was being irrational but he was too mad to care.

"Is that what _this_ is about? Emily? For Merlin's sake Moony. I didn't even get her a present." Sirius had stood too and was looking pleadingly at Remus.

"Well, that's poor form. I guess you'll just have to find some other girl to _snog_ now." Remus's ears were burning and his eyes were getting harder to focus, his fists clenched by his sides.

"Is that what you want Remus? Do you _want_ me to snog more girls?" Sirius asked, his voice strained with some type of emotion.

"It doesn't matter what_ I_ want, and actually I don't even care what you do. Do you want to know _why_ Sirius?" He sneered at the boy's name.

"Why Remus?" Sirius just looked at the angry werewolf sadly and then pointedly stared at the floor as he waited for the insult.

Remus blinked. _What was he doing?_ He was clearly hurting Sirius. The usually confident boy in front of him looked very unsure and like he was fighting back tears. He had attacked Sirius without even being in his werewolf form. Remus said nothing, turned and ran off.

**Flashback Dream End**

* * *

**Ohh, looks like the slash won't be coming, after all. Too bad. They were such a cute couple while it lasted. Sigh.  
**

**Please review! :-)**


	7. What Happens in America

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Remember, the most important thing is to not be afraid to beat them when necessary." -Lily Evans

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Slash. And some drama. Or, Sirius Black's equivalent of drama.

**Disclaimer**: Well this is embarrassing. Let me just wipe the snot off of this disclaimer, here, so you can read it better...

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** This is a dual effort at a fanfic done by two separate authors. So expect subtle, though hopefully not overwhelming, differences from chapter to chapter.

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN - What Happens in America  
**

* * *

A dark, four-legged figure trotted down an empty hall, padded feet hitting the ground with deft silence.

His gait was uneven, having a limp in the back left leg. One, two, three one, one, two, three one.

The creature turned a corner, becoming consumed by shadow. A door clicked, creaking as it swung open to reveal the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

One, two, three one, one, two, three one.

The creature stopped, eyes alighting on an object of interest. It sat down on to the cool stone ground and pricked its ears, head tilting with curiosity.

The moonlight from the window behind the large desk shown in, revealing his skeleton-like features. He appeared to be a black irish wolfhound. Skinny, long-legged, malnourished and shaggy. He had a wild look in his eyes. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth as he gave in to the urge to pant from exhaustion.

The canine looked, an expression of dawning entering his eyes, at the slumped figure who lay against the desk and in the chair.

Remus Lupin slept with his jaw slack, his mouth slightly ajar, breath passing in and out silently. The scarred half of his face was pressed into the desk. His sandy hair was disheveled, though had no room to rival his tattered and ragged robes.

The wolfhound took a deep breath in. A familiar scent of chocolate, dust, parchment, ink and some sort of woodsy musk filled his senses. The woodsy smell was underlying, he only really noticed it after a prolonged moment of speculation.

He scratched furiously behind his ear, then turned and bit at his back, snapping at the fleas he could feel crawling relentlessly through his fur and on his skin. He shook all over, his skin burning with irritation.

The figure on the desk grunted in his sleep, shifting slightly. The dog started, pinning Lupin with a hard gaze.

As if by command, the sleeping man seemingly drifted into a deeper form of sleep once again.

The dog's figure suddenly blurred, the moon now highlighting the thin, aristocratic facial features of Sirius Black. Heavy purple bags sat under his eyes. His hair was disheveled and dirty, his robes stank. Even as he stood, he could feel the irritation from the fleas and ticks.

He started forward, the manic expression in his eyes vanishing for just a moment, replaced by a nostalgic expression filled with warmth. He extended a hand in the direction of Remus before pausing, tilting his head, and letting his hand drop back to his side.

The soft scratch of tiny claws against stone interrupted his moment of lucidity. He turned his head sharply, his predator-like gaze pinning on an innocent-looking house mouse. It froze, meeting his gaze with a look of pure terror.

It scuttled off, darting out of the room with amazing speed.

Sirius's lip curled with rage and disgust. He'd never look at rodents the same again. Not after what that _rat_ had done.

_Never again._

A barely audible snore alerted him back to the sleeping person at the desk. Again, Sirius's eyes took on a startlingly soft expression. As he watched Remus's back rise and fall with each breath through his peaceful sleep, memories flooded to the forefront of his mind.

A better place, a different world. Where everything made sense. Sort of.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

The sun beat down, Sirius smiled from underneath his dark, Gucci sunglasses at the sandy-haired beauty to the left of him.

"How do you stay in such great shape?" The gobsmacked _girl _ ogled the Quidditch beater. Sirius was shirtless, wearing a pair of expensive board shorts. He glanced down at his chiseled stomach and flexed a tanned bicep for his group of adoring fans.

"One word ladies, Quidditch." Sirius loved attention no matter the source.

"Sirius, will you teach me how to use your surf board-"

"No, he already promised to show me his broom-"

"What?! I thought we were going to town and getting ice cream."

"Ladies, ladies, there's plenty of Black to go around," he said, and flashed his perfectly straight white teeth.

"-green eyes, picture it, brighter than the _greenest_ rainforest, you know, with all the_ flowers_ and the _birds_ and-"

Sirius let out an exasperated sigh and looked over to his friend on his right.

"Prongs, we need to talk for a minute." He grabbed a surprised James by the arm and stood up. "Excuse me sweetheart," he said with a wink as he moved past one of the bikini-clad witches, escaping the circle they'd built around him.

"Hey Padfoot, this is great, isn't it? What? Why are you looking at me like that?" James looked at his disappointed best friend.

"James, what have we talked about?"

"I haven't said anything-"

"Just repeat it please."

James sighed and started, "I will not talk about Lily Evans to other girls. No matter how awesome, beautiful, talented-"

"I told you you we weren't adding that part Prongs!" interrupted Sirius, as he turned to smile and wiggled his fingers in a little wave to the group of fangirls who were whispering to each other and giggling.

"I'm sorry, I can't just _forget_ about the love of my life. Unlike some people here." He murmured the last part under his breath.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sirius's smile looked a little more tense than it had a second ago.

"Well when I first suggested that all of us go to my parents' beach house to summer, I had imagined it a little differently." He glanced up and gave the staring girls a small smile.

"What could be better than this?" Sirius's smile had gotten bigger again as a couple of the girls summoned him back to the circle of adoration.

"_Remus._ I'm talking about you and Remus, Padfoot! You guys haven't even talked since we've been here. I mean," he paused, thinking about his choice of words carefully, "do you even know where he is right now?" James looked pointedly at the ignored marauder and frowned.

Sirius didn't even move his gaze from the group of girls, nodding absently. "Of course I do, he's been with us this whole time. Besides," Sirius paused, "he's the one who started this all. He's the one who rejected my Christmas present and ignored me for days," Sirius muttered, waving his hand dismissively.

"I know, but then when he apologized you blew him off.. Sirius?"

The tanned Quidditch player began to strut back over to the 'ladies' just as James grabbed him by the elbow, yanking him back.

"I'm serious."

"No you're not, I'm Sirius and you're James."

"I'm not joking, Sirius."

"I know, you're _James_. Geez, we just went over this, you're acting like Peter."

"Sirius, quit it."

"Quit what?"

"Being an arse," James snapped, eyes flashing. "What I mean to say," James said, with a touch of impatience, "is have you seen _who_ Remus is hanging out with?"

This seemed to garner some of the other marauder's attention, but not enough to draw his eyes away from the now dancing girls.

"Look," James said shortly, grabbing Sirius's chin and forcing it in the direction of the quietest marauder, mushing Sirius's lips into an awkward, squished fishface.

Remus sat leaned back, supporting his weight in the palms of his hands stretched out behind him. He was wiggling his toes, stretching them towards the water. He was wearing a pair of board shorts he'd bought simply for this occasion and a damp, plain white T-shirt. It hugged his skin, emphasizing his lean, toned build. His head was angled downwards but his lips were moving, like he was talking.

It was then Sirius noted that he was _not_ by himself, and _not_ talking to himself. His eyebrows furrowed as he took in the confusing scene.

Beside Remus sat a tall, muscular and darkly tanned _guy_. Short, dark hair and a vibrant blue gaze, a comfortable smile crinkling around the edges of his eyes as he laughed at something the werewolf had said.

"Who's that?" Sirius said sharply.

"Augustus."

"Aug-what?"

"Augustus Welling. His family's house neighbors ours. In fact, my Dad's rather close friends with his father, the President of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Is that a golf club?"

"No, of the United States, idiot - it's like the Minister of Magic? - they've been hanging around the past week. They met the day we got here. You met him too. I've known him for years, we used to summer together when we were younger."

Sirius shot him a look of bewilderment. "Yeah, okay, but, _why_ are they hanging out?"

"I don't know," James said, clearly growing bored of Sirius's intentionally dense questioning. He walked off with a half-shrug, stealing the group of girls' attention.

Sirius's eyes drifted away from the girls again, observing the still bemusing scene of Remus and..

_Welling._

Welling ran his hand over a slightly faded scar on Remus's right arm and trailed down to his hand, picking it up and twining their fingers together. His smile softened but didn't leave as he said something else, leaning closer to Remus's ear, undiscernible from this distance.

Remus's cheeks flushed, a small smile curling up the corners of his lips. He didn't look up from the swirling sand as the tide rolled in. He scrunched up his toes.

Sirius's jaw fell slack, eyes popping.

"Who does he think he_ is?_" Sirius spat to the empty air where James had been.

Remus looked up from the ground finally, his smile widening as he leaned over and brushed one of the boy's raven locks away from his eye. The American boy had a flirtatious smile playing at his mouth as he stared at Remus's lips moving in some sort of response to whatever he had whispered.

Sirius clenched his jaw, and his mouth turned down for the first time since they had arrived at the Potter's beach house.

"Aren't they so cute together?" A soft hand brushed across his shoulder, accompanied by an unwelcome, squeaky voice.

Sirius turned just his eyes, his head and jaw remaining locked in place. Standing next to him was the same sandy-haired girl from the circle earlier. She'd left James and the rest of them - who were now dancing and singing some American pop song.

"No."

The girl seemed oblivious to his tone and stiff posture. She chattered on mindlessly: "He's got such striking blue eyes, don't you think?"

Sirius turned his grey glare to the girl's suddenly unflattering features. She wasn't really_ that_ pretty, it would seem, on closer inspection. "They make him look like a _baby_."

"And he's _so_ sweet, and smart - a genius really- and mature, and responsible, and thoughtful-"

Sirius momentarily zoned out of her babbling. The strange boy had scooted minutely closer to Remus. It seemed to be under the guise of fear of a small rock crab, but Sirius was sure that he had ulterior motives.

The girl seemed to have noticed Sirius's lack of interest in the current subject and fished around for something new.

"'Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail, Marauders Forever' what's this tattoo mean? Where'd you get it?"

As if suddenly becoming aware of the distant conversation, Remus's head popped up, eyes swiveling in the direction of the two.

Sirius nodded. "It's a tribute to two of the _best mates** ever**_."

Remus's eyes flashed with something not quite like anger, his gaze moving back to the boy beside him sharply.

"But there's three names there," the girl said, tracing it with her finger. Sirius absentmindedly batted her hand away, refocusing on the two boys. Welling had stood up, and was pulling the smaller, sandy-haired boy by his waist with him towards the ocean. Remus seemed reluctant, his eyes flicking back to the shore and his hands tugging at the edges of his shirt as if to hold it in place.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, the girl prodded at a spot just above his shoulder-blade. "What's this?" her voice broke into his train of thought, "A wolf? Oh, no, a werewolf! How beautiful. It even has the same fur color as my hair."

The Black heir spun on his heel, frantically trying to shield his shoulder-blade with both of his hands and failing quite miserably, his arms tangling around himself in an awkward manner.

"It bites," he warned, showing her a bite scar on his side. The girl gave him a look of complete bewilderment as he began running away backwards, hands again trying desperately to cover the tattoo.

"Prongs, we need to talk!" Sirius called over urgently to his friend.

The other boy was now leading a conga line with the girls, who had somehow acquired hula-skirts.

**Flashback End**

* * *

Thanks so much for the reading and all the support guys xxx**  
**

By the way, for everyone wanting a better mental picture, **Augustus Welling = Tom Welling.**

Ahhh, everyone needs some Superman in their life..

Review if you love Superman! :-D


	8. Someone Call the Doctor

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Make sure to talk about yourself a lot, girls like confidence." -James Potter, The Love Doctor

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Some more drama, uhh, alcohol (none of the usual chocaholic problems - better or worse? you decide). Fluff!

**Disclaimer**: We own no form of the Harry Potter franchise. Or Katy Perry's Hot 'n' Cold.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** Tell your friends to join the party, you fools. Bold is singing. :-)

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT - Someone Call the Doctor  
**

* * *

Remus Lupin woke just as sunlight began seeping in the window behind him. He blinked sleepily, dust particles dancing in the shafts of sunlight. He sat up, a blanket that he didn't remember wrapping around himself slipping off his shoulder, and his back and neck protested sharply as they popped back into place. He rubbed at his eyes, removing the crust that had formed there overnight, and rubbed at some drool that had dried to the side of his cheek.

A strange scent filled the air of his classroom, and the door - which he was sure he had closed - was left wide open.

Remus inhaled deeply, his werewolf senses churning into gear.

He did not recognize the scent, but inside his wolf churned with some deep emotional disturbance. This scent meant something to it. To Remus, the scent was merely dirty, strikingly unpleasant. He could almost taste something underneath the grime of it, but it was too heavily disguised for him to make sense of it.

Inside his mind, the wolf seemed to pace, startlingly awake for this time of the lunar cycle. Rarely did it get so worked up.

He stood, stretching. He paced the length of his classroom, as if to let the scent sink into his very pores.

Where had the wolf smelled it before?

Why was it so important?

It wasn't hunger the wolf felt, that was new. No, it was almost..

Like a yearning for something just out of reach.

Shaking off the feeling - it was always unhealthy to focus on the creature just beneath the surface - he headed into his private chambers to ready himself for the day.

* * *

He trailed down the somewhat desolate hallways. The paintings were, as usual, babbling excitedly about something. Remus tuned them out, a skill acquired after many years in this painfully loud castle. He ran his fingers along a stone wall, nostalgia warming his chest.

As he moved about and down the shifting stairways, he noted again and again that strange smell - fainter in most places than it had been in his classroom, perhaps less fresh - littered about the castle.

He finally reached the entrance to the great hall, throwing open the doors to reveal a peculiar scene.

The entire Great Hall had been transfigured. A humid breeze blew out just as the door opened, and the cry of seagulls filled the air. The faux sky was bright and clear, fake sunshine so bright that he had to squint his eyes. Hot sand replaced the usual stone flooring. The tables were gone, instead the area was filled with picnic blankets of varying colors with the multiple house insignias on them.

Except Slytherins. They didn't seem to have any picnic blankets, and none of the other Houses seemed particularly willing to share.

Most of the students seemed to be dressed for the peculiar weather, wearing board shorts, bathing suits and donning sunglasses. Everyone was chattering and laughing. Owls swooped in and out to deliver mail, most wearing strange sea-gull masks and finding themselves incapable of hooting, only able to let out gull cries awkwardly. This seemed to frustrate most of them, as did the masks, so they quickly fled back to the owlery to mope.

The left side of the hall (where the Slytherin's long table usually sat) was transfigured into a bit of waving water, with an endless illusion charm. The water seemed to stretch for miles, but after getting about 10 feet in one discovered the wall.

The teachers' seats had been transfigured into lifeguard stands. Remus chuckled quietly, kicking off his shoes at the entrance as most students seemed to have done and feeling the sand squish beneath his feet. He maneuvered up the ladder and into his particular stand and plopped down rather cheerfully into his seat, a grin crinkling the corners of his eyes and giving him an air of someone ten years younger.

In front of him was his usual breakfast - a breakfast burrito with some very rare meat and egg, and then a mysterious drink in one of his favorite cups. On it was a strange handwritten note.

_I thought Professor Lupin might appreciate this and find it more fitting to the weather_ - Bobbles

Lupin gave the cold cup a curious sniff. Chocolate.

Curios now, he tilted his head back with the cup pressed to his lips, taking a small sip.

It seemed to be a peculiarly frozen hot chocolate. Or, frozen chocolate.

Whatever.

His smile widening - he wasn't aware that was possible at this point - Remus reminded himself to thank Bobbles in some way. He brushed his hand over his fake silver plate, admiring the intricate designs carved into it. They were different than those on the real silver. Bobbles had actually shown him this in his first year, explaining what serving dishes would also be safe for him to touch by the differences in the patterns.

Remus had suspected Dumbledore had put her up to that. From there on out though, he got the feeling Bobbles had simply taken to him, and all of her future kindness came from her own intuition.

Still, Remus had an inkling that Dumbledore had chosen that certain house elf to work with him for that particular reason. The man seemed to have a general knowledge about the world around him.

Remus sipped idly on his frozen hot chocolate, watching the scenes unfolding beneath him. A couple Gryffindor Quidditch boys were flexing, trying to grab the attention of some of the Ravenclaw witches.

Remus felt something warm flutter in his chest, his mind fluttering away to a different time.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

_Thump, thump, thump thump. _The familiar bass shook the entire building with its force for the millionth time that evening as the song restarted.

"I'm not going in there."

**You, change your mind, like a girl, changes clothes.**

**Yeah you, PMS, like a _bitch_, I would know.**

**And you, overthink-**

_Crash!_

"**_I hate you Remus!_**" a crazed voice added from behind the door.

"He's going to ruin my house."

**I should know, that you're no good for me!**

**'Cause you're hot then you're cold!_  
_**

_Bang, crash!_

**You're yes then you're no-**

_Crash!_

"I'm going in, you can stay out here if you want to Peter. My parents will kill me if he burns the house down."

James threw open the door with some reluctance, revealing a clearly drunken Sirius Black, still clad in board shorts that he'd been wearing now for two days. Firebottle whiskeys were strewn across the floor, and curses were bouncing off the windows and mirrors.

Sirius himself was using his wand as a microphone, singing animatedly to the apparently invisible audience.

"**We, used to be, just like twins, so in sync-**"

"Sirius, stop."

"**The same, energy, now's a dead, battery!**"

_Crash!_

The entire case of china dishes came tumbling down, scattering across the floor in tiny pieces.

"Ugh.."

"**Used to laugh, 'bout nothing.**"

Another curse flew from the wand, adding to the dangerous lightshow.

James ducked to avoid a suspicious looking yellow curse.

"**Now you're plain, _boring_!**"

James dropped to his knees, crawling to avoid the flying curses and hexes. He finally reached the DVD player. Having misplaced his wand James took it and threw it forcefully against the wall.

The song came to an abrupt end, Sirius's voice trailed off into nothing-ness "**It's black and it's whi**-... Oy, James! What do you think you're doing! That's my_ JAM._"

"Sirius, I think the Americans are getting to you mate," James said.

"So what if they are? You don't seem to care that _Remus_ is hanging out with the Americanizer!"

"The what?"

"He's gonna fall in love, and he's gonna stay here, and, and, he's gonna be American, and he's gonna live in America, and he's never gonna come back, and it's all your _stupid_ fault for having this _stupid_ beach house!"

Sirius punctuated the last 'stupid' with a flick of his wand, shooting off another random curse, and collapsed on to the last standing piece of furniture in the room - a low to the ground couch.

"I think you're losing it, Sirius."

"Can't lose something you never had!" Sirius mumbled into the pillow.

Peter hesitantly peeked his head into the room. Just as he did, an errant green hex hit him squarely in the nose.

Peter squeaked in horror and agony, collapsing backwards and out of the room.

Sirius poked his head up from the couch, supporting his weight in his palms. "Ah, Peter's here?"

"Peter got here yesterday. You'd know that if you hadn't locked yourself away ever since you saw Remus and Augustus-"

"_Don't speak the name._ He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is not to be named for a reason!" he said this as James was forced to dodge another, this time red, curse.

"What were you thinking, with these curses and hexes? You could've lost an eye!"

"I don't care! I _want_ to be blind, so I don't have to see them together!"

James rolled his eyes. Sirius flailed helplessly on the couch like a confused penguin.

"Don't be so pathetic, you're from the old, ancient, powerful, mighty house of Black!-"

"_Uhnnggggg_.. Okay, _mother._"

James put his hands on his hips. "There's no need for that sort of language! I'm trying to _help_. Remember, you're _Sirius Black_. You've got to deal with the hand you've been dealt. Be a man!"

Sirius suddenly threw himself off of the couch, probably in an attempt to look like a recovering hero, however missing the ground with his feet and instead toppling over into a heap.

"You're right!" Sirius cried victoriously, finally finding his feet. "But a _true_ Black always has an extra deck under the table!"

James looked fearfully and suspiciously at the now beaming Black heir. "Isn't that cheating?"

Sirius's eyes glinted with malicious glee. He threw back his head, cackling in a way to put most evil super villains to shame.

"Exactly."

With that, Sirius spun on his heel and took off out of the room, accidentally stepping on Peter's arm. The boy had sprouted several boils on his face and cried out in pain as he was half-trampled.

James followed him out, carefully stepping over Peter's immobile, whimpering form. "Wait, maybe you should take a shower! Or brush your teeth! Or pick the dirt out of your hair!"

James sighed reluctantly as the slam of the front door shook the house. "Sorry, Remus," he mumbled under his breath.

"Please help me," Peter whimpered.

* * *

"Moony, my best mate! Just who I was looking for! How have you been? Enjoying yourself?" Remus looked up in shock at a wild-looking Sirius. His grey eyes were wide and bloodshot, his hair sandy and - was that dirt? Where on earth did he find dirt on a beach? - teeth bared in some sort of attempt at a smile.

Sirius plopped down next to Remus as if it was the most natural thing ever. "I have extra cards and I'm willing to use them for you," Sirius quipped with a benevolent smile.

"Thanks? Wait, is that firewhiskey on your breath? Does James know you've been drinking?" Remus grew slightly concerned for his unhinged-looking schoolmate.

He waved off his concern and leaned in uncomfortably close, "I have a proposition for you."

Remus started to feel his stomach flop and his ears started to burn.

"A proposition?"

"It means-"

"-I know what it means! I just don't know what you're getting at," Remus said, getting impatient. He was starting to feel a little unhinged now too.

"Go with me to dinner tonight. Please?" The grey eyed boy almost pleaded as he looked at the irritated werewolf.

Remus's head started to spin. His stomach started to flutter and a painful feeling in his chest, that he had been trying to ignore for the past few months, had returned full force. "Okay," he heard himself say.

_What? No, this was not a good idea._

"Excellent, see you at 7, our house!" Sirius jumped up and took off, smacking Augustus, who was walking towards Remus, on the shoulder rather aggressively. "Good to see you Wellington ol' boy!"

Augustus shot him a look of soft concern. "It's Welling," he corrected the air, as Sirius had already zoomed away. The boy shook his head, and turned his head and gave Remus a wave as he approached. He sat down in the sand next to the werewolf, smiling.

"Hey Remus, plans tonight?"

_Oh no._

Lupin looked up at the friendly voice and wanted to bury himself in the sand. What had he just done?

**Flashback To Be Continued..  
**

* * *

**Anyone catch the reference to The All-American Rejects' _Dirty Little Secret _song?**


	9. Drinker's Intuition

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"If he is still smiling, you're doing something wrong." -Lily Evans, Marauder Tamer Extraordinaire

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: The Doctor is in.

**Disclaimer**: slobber slobber dribble dribble.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** Helllooooo.

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE - Drinker's Intuition  
**

* * *

"James! James!"

"Sirius!"

"James!"

"Sirius."

"James?"

"Sirius-"

"Sirius?"

"Sirius, quit it! What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Sirius whispered breathlessly, his eyes wide with manic glee as he proceeded to stare giddily at his bespectacled friend.

"Okay..."

"He said yes Prongs! Moony said_ yes_!"

"Yes to what?"

"Well actually he said _okay.._"

"Okay to _what?_"

"I asked him to eat dinner tonight, of course! And he said yes!"

"But we eat dinner with Remus every night. Are you sure he knew you were asking him on a date?" James asked skeptically as he eyed the unkempt boy standing in front of him. Sirius was still shirtless, with an upside down dirt handprint on his stomach, his hair dropped sand every time he tilted his head, and his eyes were bloodshot from drinking.

"Yeah, he definitely knew what I meant."

"How so?"

"Well, he looked _absolutely_ terrified." Sirius smiled dreamily at the thought.

"I see. Uh, well. That _does_ sound like he knew what was up then. Where are you taking him to eat?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Did you make reservations?"

"Why would I do that? The house elves make us good food every night." Sirius was confused with how dense James was being.

James sighed, "Come with me Sirius." He grabbed Sirius by his arm and solemnly ushered him into his room.

* * *

Remus walked along the shore, the sky a clear blue, the tide rolling in slowly to his right. He had planned to walk back to the house after leaving Augustus, but then he remembered that Sirius would be there waiting for him and started in the opposite direction instead. _Sirius_. He kicked at the white sand.

He hadn't had the nerve to tell Augustus _exactly_ what his plans _actually _were for the night. He had just said that he was going to make an early night of it and eat at the Potter house for dinner. Hell, he wasn't even really sure himself what the plans were for the night. It _seemed_ like Sirius had been asking him on a date, but it was very risky to assume anything with the unpredictable marauder.

_"Remus, I'm in the loo! I need your help reaching something. Oh, no not a towel. Could you scrub this spot on my back for me, right there? I've tried and tried and just can't seem to get it-Remus, are you okay there mate? Remus? James, Remus and I are in the loo! Could you help us with something?"_

He couldn't fathom how the infuriatingly handsome boy could refuse his apology, ignore him for months, snog every witch in sight, and then just walk up and ask him on a date like none of it had ever happened. Remus leaned over and picked up a seashell. It was the same grey color of Sirius's eyes, and it was a whole shell, unlike the small broken pieces littered along the beach.

He took it and chucked it into the ocean.

"You are such a git!" He took out his anger on the offensive shell.

"Hey, Remus? Is that you?" Remus turned and was surprised to see Lily Evans walking towards him. She had on a green bikini, with a sheer white sarong wrapped around her hips and her hair was down with a white flower tucked neatly in it.

"Lily? James told me you had dragonpox?" Her skin was porcelain smooth.

"No, that was a lie."

"Oh."

"I'm staying with Marlene for a few weeks at her family's beach house here." Lily seemed relaxed but then tensed, "So, James isn't nearby, is he?" She glanced around with a deer-in-the-headlights look.

"Oh, no. At least, I don't think so. He should be at his parents' house right now."

"Right, good. Hey, are you okay? You look upset...more than usual. Did something happen?" Lily asked, concern replaced her anxiousness.

"Sirius just asked me to go to dinner with him tonight." Remus attempted to inform her nonchalantly, failing miserably, and cringed, waiting for her response.

"Sirius, Sirius _Black_?"

"Yes."

"Sirius Black, the arse, who magicked a real-time tally of all the witches he had kissed last semester on to the wall of the common room, and made it play _Sexy and I Know It_ every time a new mark was added?" Lily's face was contorting into the familiar snarl when she talked about the Gryffindor womanizer.

Remus winced at that memory, he remembered how he had spent days in the library finding a way to not only remove that offensive piece of magic, he had reasoned because of its degrading nature towards the gentler sex, but also guarding against it in the future.

"The same." he said begrudgingly.

Lily looked like she was about to go on one of her Sirius tirades but thought better of it. She took a big breath in, as if to calm herself, and focused her electric green eyes intently on the werewolf. "Remus, I need to ask you something important. How do you feel about Sirius? Honestly. I mean, I know you guys have been friends for a long time, but _honestly_?"

Remus fidgeted under the girl's intense gaze. "I don't _want_ to feel anything towards Sirius, other than maybe hatred or indifference. He's arrogant, crude, selfish, pig-headed, and I'm pretty sure he's a little mad."

"Okay, I agree with all that, but you didn't answer my question. How do you _feel_ about him? How does he make you _feel_?" Lily looked like she had caught on to something and was giving him an encouraging nod to continue.

"Lately, when I think of him, I feel angry and frustrated and just really hurt. My brain goes straight to mush when I'm around him, which is probably why I agreed to tonight." Remus murmured the last part quietly.

"But, we haven't been on good terms, so I'm not sure that's a good indicator." Remus ran his hand through his hair and frowned at a small black terrier as it ran around barking at sand crabs. It got too close to one of the crabs and almost got pinched. The dog seemed unfazed and spun and ran away, turning to see if the crab was chasing him, as if they were friends. Remus's mouth turned up against his wishes and he sighed and looked away from the scene.

"When we weren't ignoring each other it was rather different. It felt like we had an unspoken connection, an understanding. There were times when he would say the meanest thing to Peter and then turn to me and smile. Just smile, and in that smile I saw everything, and it was terrifying. I saw that he really does like Peter, he just loves to give him a hard time because Peter gets really riled up. I also saw an unwavering loyalty in him, like he would do anything if one of us was in danger." Remus rubbed his hand absentmindedly over a scar on his chin.

"I felt like he understood me too. There were times I felt overwhelmed, and just wanted to give up, and he would always be there for me, like he knew what I was thinking. He would make some excuse for us to go off alone, and it would be.. _perfect_. It was just us, and it was as if the world had stopped for a minute, allowing me to get my stride back. But we've been apart for so long, and it..it's just so... it just feels harder to breath without him." The werewolf had his shoulders hunched in defensively and a pained look to his eyes.

"That's stupid isn't it?" Remus added, suddenly shy after his outburst.

"No, no it isn't Remus." Lily's eyes had softened and she gently placed a hand on Remus's shoulder.

"I just. I don't know if I can do this any more. I'm so scared. He does this. He makes sweet gestures, makes me feel special, and then he just turns around and leaves me. It hurts worse than _any_ physical pain I have _ever_ experienced; I don't know how to keep him Lily." Remus confessed, looking up expecting to see pity, but instead he saw confidence and determination set on the red-headed girl's features.

"Come with me Remus." Lily looped her arm through the werewolf's and marched him towards a large, powder blue beach house.

The little terrier ran gleefully behind them with one of the crabs dangling haphazardly from its mouth.

* * *

"Rule 3, if they seem frustrated, that's a sign that you're wearing them down. Keep going."

"Uh, Prongs-"

"Ahem." James raised an eyebrow expectantly. He was standing in front of a wall in his room, using his wand to write words on the transfigured chalkboard.

"I mean, Professor Potter, what does-" Sirius attempted the question again as he sat at James's desk with a quill and piece of parchment.

"I must insist that you hold all questions until the end please, Mr. Black."

"I just wanted to ask-"

"No, I don't think you understand, Mr. Black. Who is currently dating the boy/girl of his dreams? Me or you?"

"You, Professor Potter."

"And who is currently waiting for a _possible first_ date with the boy of his dreams, which he was only able to obtain through sheer confusion, and possibly a little fear as well? Me or you?"

"Me, Professor Potter." Sirius hung his head, properly shamed into silence.

"Correct, _I_ know what the ladies, and Remus, like. Look at how happy Lily and I are thanks to my expertise."

"Where is Lily any way, Professor Potter?"

"She's home right now with the dragonpox. She is very ill. Now, rule 4, Occasionally make them pay for the food. This will let them know that you respect them and think of them as equals.

"Rule 5, If they say that they're cold. Don't offer them your jacket, they might like being cold. _Never_ assume. Instead say stuff like that's cool or how neat. It lets them know that you are invested in the conversation but not judging them. In fact, you could insert these phrases into just about any conversation."

"Genius!"

"Ahem."

"Genius, Professor Potter."

"Yes, but please keep all comments until the end."

* * *

"Remus, it is a well known fact that James Potter is thoroughly whipped. However, what many do not know is that it required years of hard work on my part to get him to the point he is today. After learning my 5 point plan for success, you too will be able to capture and hold on to a Marauder." Lily was standing with a remote, flipping through her prepared slide show.

"Point 1. One of the most important things is not to be afraid to beat them when necessary. They know what they have done and will admire your assertive nature.

"Point 2. Occasionally date someone else, even when you're already dating, this will confuse them and make them think you're still in the friend zone. And they will try even harder to win your affections.

"Point 3. Make sure to thoroughly confuse them so that they will be too busy trying to figure you out instead of dating other girls." Remus looked out Lily's window and noticed the sun was getting lower in the sky.

"Point- Remus, wait, where are you going? I still have 2 more points! You don't want to miss them!"

Remus was standing from his seat, he stretched his muscles a little. "Lily, I _really_ want to thank you for all your help today. I don't know what I would have done without you, but I have to go if I'm going to make it to the dinner tonight. You're right though, ah, I will make sure to implement Point 1 as soon as possible!" Remus smiled and made his escape from the room.

"You're going then? I'm so proud of you! I'll owl you the last two!" Lily generously offered.

Remus smiled at himself, James had a fiery girlfriend. He definitely had his hands full. Lily had actually given him some really helpful advice on their walk to the house. She had encouraged Remus to do what he wanted and not to let his fear and anxieties keep him from a shot at happiness.

Remus was going to give Sirius another chance. The werewolf picked up his pace, his legs felt lighter than they had for a long time.

* * *

**Review for another tip from the romance gurus. Please specify Potter or Evans or both!**


	10. Baby Squirrel

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Peter wanted to know when I was going to have a private dinner with him this week." - Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: The floor is hot lava! AHHHH, how did it get there? Exercise caution and remember couches, chairs, ottomans, pillows, couch cushions, dishes, pieces of paper, small animals and children will effectively protect you from the lava that can reach temperatures of 1,200 degrees Celsius.

**Disclaimer**: Gotta wipe the slobber off! (You notice, stuck to the disclaimer is a yellow sticky-note: _We don't own the Bruno Mars' song, "Treasure" either._)

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** AH-MOOOOOOOO I'm a werewolf.

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN - Baby Squirrel  
**

* * *

"Bloody hell, I am.. I am just.. I mean, _really_... How did I ever get to be so incredibly good looking?" Sirius stared in awe at his own reflection in the mirror, in James's room. He had taken a shower, shaved, and even let one of the house elves trim his hair. He was wearing a pair of khaki slacks and a black button down shirt, with the top two buttons left open.

"Lots of inbreeding," James offered helpfully to his friend, but even he had been impressed with how well Sirius had cleaned up.

"Remus is going to be putty in my hands! He'll be all like, "O_h, Sirius! You are so handsome and magical. I don't __know why I ever talked to that ugly, poo poo face Wellington git. Let's go kill him together and-_"

"What!"

"Calm down Prongs, that bit was a _joke_." The Black heir said absentmindedly, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows.

"Murdering him was the joke or the serious part?"

"Right."

"What? Tell me which part you were serious about."

"Well, technically since I said it, the whole thing would have been _Sirius_."

"You better not be planning on killing Augustus, or I will be _so_ mad at you!"

"James, James. Your lack of confidence in me is very insulting." Sirius leaned in towards the mirror and fooled with his bangs a little, checked his smile and winked at himself.

"I'm just saying, you worry me a little bit sometimes. So, if you could just say, "_James, I promise I have no intention, now or in the future, of ever killing, or hiring someone to kill, your neighbor Augustus Tyson Welling-_"

"Tyson? That's his middle name? He really is a loser." He idly glanced down at James's chest of drawers and picked up a cologne bottle and sniffed at it. "Ugh, your spray smells like flowers. You're more of a girl than I am, and I'm trying to date a dude!"

"For your information, it smells like lilies, and Lily loves it when I wear it!" James took a pillow from his bed and threw it at the other boy, as he casually made his way to the door, missing.

"Oh, and James. I was totally _Sirius._" He dead-panned, one of his hands resting on the door handle.

"What? Wait, are you doing that name joke thing again, or were you-" Sirius slammed the door in the boy's face, smiling mischievously.

"You're such an arse Black! We _will_ talk about this later, until you can give me a CLEAR answer to-" James yelled through his door as his best mate swaggered away, making talking gestures with his hand mockingly.

* * *

"Remus, you're here! I thought maybe you might not show up. I mean, not that you shouldn't have. I just... hey, is something wrong mate?" Remus was standing in his room, with a towel wrapped around his waist, and his clothes were strewn across the floor and draped over his bed. He looked up at James, seemingly surprised to see him standing there, a tangible air of stress buzzing around the werewolf.

"I don't have any clothes to wear for tonight. I only packed for the beach. It never crossed my mind that I would need a proper outfit for... dinner." Remus looked at James, gauging his reaction to see how much he knew.

"Well, I can help you out there Moony. You can just borrow something of mine to wear for, ah, dinner. My mom practically packed my whole wardrobe for the trip." James walked the rest of the way into Remus's room and shut the door behind him.

"Topsy!" James called out and a small house elf suddenly popped into the room.

"Yes, Master James. Topsy is ever so happy to serve you and your guest. Would you like something to eat? Perhaps a piece of chocolate cake? That is Master Remus's favorite thing to order. Topsy and all the other house elves are so happy to have Master Remus here, we feel so honored to deliver it for him daily, and some times more than once in the same day." The house elf looked like he was about to burst from excitement. James turned to Remus with a look of disgust, but somehow controlled himself from launching into a chocolate lecture.

"No, Topsy. We do not need _any_ chocolate right now. Thank you though. Could you please get a pair of my nicest denim, one of my white polo shirts, and a nice pair of sneakers for me? I will need you to alter them so that they will fit Remus here." James motioned at the toweled boy.

"Oh yes Master James! Topsy will do that right away!" The house elf smiled and popped out of the room.

"Thanks James. So, uh, did Sirius talk to you then?" Remus asked quietly, keeping his gaze on the clothes around his feet.

"He did," James answered simply, fighting a smile.

"Oh, okay. Well, could you tell me what exactly he said to you? I mean, I just want to make sure that I, uh, that he and I are on the same-"

"-Remus," James gently interrupted the nervous boy, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I don't think you would _ever_ want to know _exactly_ what Sirius tells me." James shuddered at the thought. "However, I _will_ tell you that Sirius is looking _very _dashing right now and is eagerly awaiting your _private_ dinner together." He smiled, raising his eyebrows in an insinuating manner.

Remus let out a held breath and visibly relaxed. He started to pick up his clothes off the floor but stopped when a realization flickered across the sandy-haired boy's face, followed by a wicked grin. He looked up at James, a worried expression plastered convincingly on his face, "Dashing, you say? I don't need to worry about you too, in addition to all witches between the ages of 13 and 22, do I?"

"You two deserve each other." James said, his cheeks blushing a bright red; he turned and fled the room, ignoring the werewolf's laughing calls for him.

* * *

Sirius anxiously paced the hallway outside Lupin's bedroom. He didn't know if he should knock or just wait for him to come out. Any other time he would have just barged in, not bothering to knock, and unlocking it if needed.

However, this was _not_ just any other time. Sirius didn't want to make any mistakes tonight. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling that Remus's seemingly never-ending forgiveness with him was near its end. Sirius put his hands behind his back, intertwining his fingers, trying to control his urge to open the door. He then sat down on the floor and scooted back, effectively trapping the unruly hands awkwardly between his back and the wall.

"What are you doing?" Sirius started at the amused voice. Remus was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed, a playful smile on his lips.

"Oh, uh, just waiting for you is all." Sirius quickly sprung up into a standing position. He smiled winningly and took a step closer to the boy.

"Wow, you look _hot_ Moony." Remus's eyebrows shot up. "I mean, you look very _nice_ in that outfit. Not that you _need_ the clothes to look good, of course, because you have always looked great without them." The werewolf's eyes widened. "Wait, no, what I meant to say is that you look good even in your usual tattered clothes." Sirius beamed at the boy, happy to have cleared any confusion.

"Thank you Sirius." Remus said, taking in the other boy for the first time. _Oh my_. The hazel-eyed boy fought the urge to turn around, calmly walk back in his room, lock the door, and hide under his blankets. Instead, Remus just stared_, _his mouth slightly agape.

Sirius slowly reached out with his left hand, pushing up Lupin's chin delicately with just his index finger, until the werewolf's teeth clinked against each other softly.

A wicked grin consuming his features, a deranged light flickered in his eyes.

"Come with me, Mr. Moony."

**FLASHBACK END**

* * *

**OH WOOOAHHHH**

**I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T KNOW IT BUT YOU'RE FINE**

**(SO FINE)**

**TREASURE~**


	11. Once You Go Sirius

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Yes. Would you say it made you feel...oh I don't know..._bitey_?" Sirius smiled encouragingly at Remus.

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Well, it's Sirius guys.

**Disclaimer**: We don't own Harry Potter or _Blurred Lines_ by Robin Thicke.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** So, guys, do you even like this? We're starting to wonder if this is even worth posting, we could always just keep it to ourselves if it burns your eyes. -runs away crying-

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN - Once You Go Sirius  
**

* * *

Professor Lupin rose from his seat at his lifeguard post and climbed down the ladder, startled from his drifting thoughts after what must've been a few moments at best.

As Remus walked towards the door of the Great Hall, Dumbledore stood from his seat, announcing that since it was clearly summertime in Hogwarts, all classes would be cancelled for the day.

The werewolf smiled to himself, collecting his shoes once again at the entrance to the Great Hall. He headed back toward his classroom, wandering the big stone halls in silence.

He inhaled deeply. He never tired of the ever-present smell of parchment and magic that permeated every inch of the air within the castle walls. The air rarely got stale within the castle, unlike the houses, apartments and other dwellings he'd stayed in.

He let his feet take him where they wanted, eventually winding up in the library. He nodded hello to Madam Pince who tolerated him - unlike the rest of the entire school. It was probably as close to affection as the librarian would ever get towards a non-book object, so Lupin took it as a compliment.

A ghost of a smile danced across his lips as he remembered the many times she'd swooped down on Sirius or James, screeching with rage about their loud noises and 'horrid mistreatment' of the precious books.

He headed into the restricted section. Certainly, this part of the library could have been available to him as a student had he borrowed James's cloak - without permission of course, James said his_ 'reading problem'_ was getting to be as big of an addiction as his chocaholism - but he had never really had the time. Between maraudering, classes, testing, making excuses for his _'furry little problem'_ and the change itself, he rarely had the free time.

The strong smell of old parchment, leather, dried ink and a bit of dust welled up in his senses in a most intoxicating way. He inhaled deeply, letting his eyes slip closed, contentment curling in his stomach for just a moment.

He exhaled deeply, eyes finally flickering open as he trailed down the aisles.

He eventually found and settled down with a familiar book.

_So, You Think Your Mate's a Werewolf: Ten Surefire Ways to Spot a Werewolf in Human Form._

By Dora Skeeter

* * *

**Flashback Start**

He glanced over his shoulder again, scanning the empty corridor, _nothing_. He picked up his step, he just knew they had to be following him again. He heard a rustling, spun around, pointed his wand blindly and shouted, "Stupefy!"

A piece of paper slowly spun around in the air, floating lazily in front of the skittish second year boy, the wind blowing it around gently.

Remus shook his head, chuckling in relief, "Get a hold of yourself, don't let them get to you like this." He took in a few calming breaths, visibly relaxing, and continued on his way to the library to return his book. He knew Madame Pince liked him, on account of his affinity for all books, but she had a zero tolerance policy for late returns.

"Now!" shouted a frantic voice from behind Remus.

"Ahhhh!" Remus yelled, falling flat on the ground. He tried to get up but a body was lying on top of him holding him down on the ground. Hands quickly grabbed either side of his face and turned it to the side.

"Hurry, hurry!"

"I am, just hold on. Lumos!" Remus found himself eye-to-eye with James Potter. He was lying on the ground beside him, staring intently into his eyes.

"Well?" asked an impatient voice.

"No guys, nothing." Remus heard groans and a scratching noise. He turned his eyes, his head still pinned to the floor, and saw Peter Pettigrew a few feet away, standing and scribbling on a piece of parchment.

"What is going on?" the werewolf finally found his voice.

"Oh, sorry Remus, mate. I didn't see you there. My apologies." He instantly felt the pressure on his body lift, and two hands gripped his shoulders, pulling him upright. He turned to see Sirius Black behind him smiling apologetically.

"Yeah, Sirius. You need to pay more attention where you're going. You flattened poor Lupin here." James scolded his friend as he brushed dirt off of the startled boy.

Remus smacked away James's hand, looked warily at the three boys, and blinked. "Well, I should be going then. Library." He held up the book in his hand as proof of his excuse.

"Right, right. See you in a bit then." James waved cheerily as if nothing had happened.

Remus eyed them once more, turned and started to walk away. He glanced over his shoulder to see the three boys making a mad dash in the opposite direction, Peter trying to keep up.

* * *

"How does this smell make you _feel_?" Remus jerked his head back from the wrist that had been thrust under his nose. He looked over to an innocent looking Sirius Black.

"Make me _feel_?" Remus asked as he inexplicably found himself leaning forward to actually smell the boy's pulse point.

"Yes. Would you say it made you feel...oh I don't know..._bitey_?" Sirius smiled encouragingly.

"Bitey?" Remus's heart rate had sped up and he felt a little dizzy.

Sirius nodded eagerly.

"No."

"I see, well, what about my neck then?" Sirius had leaned into the werewolf's face, pushing his neck against Remus's lips as he tried to offer it for inspection.

Lupin felt his breath catch. "Uh, I gotta go," he murmured against the boy's neck. He then jumped up, leaving his books and Sirius behind on a couch in the Gryffindor common room.

"Remus! Are you by any chance going to get a snack?" the black haired boy yelled at the retreating form.

* * *

Remus sat on his bed, it was Friday night and the dorm was empty. Everyone in Gryffindor was in the common room, celebrating a quidditch win against Slytherin house. A huge smile crossed his face. _I'll be safe in here for hours_. The sandy-haired boy relished the thought. He had taken to hiding from his fellow second years after three weeks of attacks, uncomfortable questioning, and constant note taking. The _notes_. Peter was driving him crazy with that piece of parchment he always carried around anymore.

The door opened, interrupting the boy's thoughts. "Ah, Remus! There you are!" Remus jumped up, ready to run. "Listen, don't go. Please. We just want to apologize for Sirius's recent behavior," James pleaded, Sirius smiled and nodded beside him.

"Okay, but I am still _not_ going to let him count my body hairs," Remus warned, narrowing his eyes as he noticed Peter standing behind the two boys, _parchment_ in hand.

"Fair enough." James held his hands in front of him in concession.

"Like I was saying, we wanted to make it up to you, because _Sirius_ feels so awful." James elbowed his friend.

"Yeah, just awful," Sirius parroted.

Remus looked at each of them closely, as if he were attempting legilimency on his fellow dorm mates. He finally sighed, "Well, I guess that would be okay. What did you have in mind?" He smiled shyly, finding himself eager to discover what exciting and/or dangerous plan they had come up with.

"Slumber party!" The three boys yelled out in unison.

* * *

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Look at your nail bed. Here Remus, let me clip your nails. We're doing manicures." Sirius smiled manically, held up a pair of clippers and made an attempt to grab one of the boy's hands.

"What? No, only girls get manicures." Remus hid his hands behind his back.

"C'mon, _man_icure, it has the word man in it. Now stop hiding your hands!" Sirius tackled the werewolf on his bed, trying desperately to get to his hands. "Stop struggling, I'm only trying to make you beautiful!"

James rolled his eyes at the boys as they rolled around on the bed, "Guys, guys. Calm down. I've got a better idea. Let's listen to some music."

"Great idea, James! Do you like _music_ Remus?" Sirius had a strange gleam in his eye again, the same one he seemed to have every time he asked Remus a question lately.

Remus looked to the ground, uncomfortable. "Yes, I like music."

"Excellent!"

James turned on a muggle song called _Blurred Lines_.

_Everybody get up. Hey hey hey. Hey hey hey._

"I love this song, let's dance Remus!"

"No, I am not going to-"

_Maybe I'm out of my mind._

Sirius ignored him, pulling him up and started dancing and bumping into the werewolf, trying to get him to dance.

_OK now he was close, tried to domesticate you,_

_But you're an animal, baby it's in your nature._

Remus felt his face flush and tried to back away, but bumped into James, who was behind him dancing too.

"Would you say you enjoy dancing with James or _me_ better, with my dark wizarding blood heritage, the Black heir?" Sirius whispered the last part into Remus's ear as he and James continued to dance around him.

_I feel so lucky,_

_hey, hey, hey,_

_You wanna hug me,_

_hey, hey, hey,_

_What rhymes with hug me?_

Sirius raised one eyebrow suggestively. "That's it! You guys have lost your minds!" The two boys stopped at his outburst, staring at him in shock, Peter started scribbling madly in the corner.

Remus turned his now half-crazed eyes on the pudgy boy, "And you, _you_!" He advanced on Peter, who squealed and abandoned his notes in his terrified effort at escape. Remus snatched up the parchment and peered down at it.

_Remus Lupin - Friend, or Werewolf?_

Remus scanned the list with an air of shock and, to an extent, total confusion.

_1. Appears ill around the full moon. _**Check.**

_2. Disappears one day a month. _**Check.**

_3. Abnormal amount of body hair? _**Inconclusive.. Would not partake in manly chest hair contest.  
**

_4. Runs in sleep, a bit my like my dog at home. _**Check.**

_5. No wolfish eyes when attacked unexpectedly. _**Darn it.**

_6. Appetite for human flesh. _**Sirius says check it off.**

_7. Refusal of trimming of nails/claws, a lot like my cat Whiskers. _**Check.**

_8. Tries to hide obvious preference for dark blooded wizards. _**Sirius signals 'check'.  
**

_9. Extreme irritability when partaking in happy human behavior such as danci-  
_

It seemed at this point in the list Peter had been rendered incapable of finishing his sentence.

Realization dawned over the young werewolf, he looked up slowly from the bit of parchment to his three friends, two of which were approaching cautiously, hands raised in a way that said 'let's all calm down'.

Remus dropped the parchment, backing away at first before spinning on his heel and bolting down the stairs and out of the Gryffindor common room, the Fat Lady protesting loudly as the painting was slammed shut.

Sirius leaned over to retrieve the parchment from the dorm floor, quill in hand.

_10. Frightened by amazing dancing. _**Check.**

**Flashback End**

* * *

**Review below.  
**

**Tell us if you would prefer Sirius's or James's dancing.**


	12. Let The Games Commence

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Do you think this shirt displays my knockers to their full advantage?" -Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Argh. A war's a brewing.

**Disclaimer**: I did not steal the cookies from the cookie jar. I swear.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** Thank you sooooo much for the reviews! We love to know what you guys like or don't like, because we are shameless panderers. You say you like Jokes? _Sirius, James, Remus and Peter walk into a pub. The bartender asks what they'd like. Sirius says 3 drinks please, nothing for the chubby git, because I hate him._ You're welcome!

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE - Let The Games Commence  
**

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"You know what stinks about being in detention? It's really unpleasant and they don't let you leave until it's over."

"Black, that's the point." Lily snapped, "I can't believe we were put in detention together, I'm pretty sure this falls under cruel and unusual. Remus, why are you even here?"

"Professor McGonagall said it was for not having better friend choices." Remus muttered, scrubbing at a stubborn spot on the cauldron he was working on.

"You know what else stinks about detention? Attendance isn't optional."

Ten wet rags soared through the air, most of them hitting their target, Sirius's face. "Aghh," Sirius stumbled and tripped over a chair, falling to the ground.

"I should have never engaged him, I should have just walked away. What was I thinking? He is just..." Lily's mumbles became incoherent as she picked up another dragon tongue, a disgusted look on her face, and began dicing it into slivers.

* * *

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were sprawled across the largest couch in the Gryffindor common room in the usual sort of way. Peter sat on the edge, timidly looking from one boy to another. Remus sat with a book, eyes scanning quickly across the text. James was sprawled back with an air of natural arrogance, ruffling his hair every few moments and sending pearly-white grins at older girls who passed. Sirius had sort of flopped on to his back and laid his head in Remus's lap. Remus turned the page of his book, absent-mindedly patting the Black heir on the head before returning it to its original place on the spine of the textbook.

"-I'm telling you guys, you seriously need to come over to my house this summer. Last year I got to spend a week with the Captain of the Chudley Cannons. I swear, they're the most amazing team. _We shall conquer _and all that. He said I was a ruddy great flyer and asked if I'd have an interest in taking up a Seeker position when I get a little older. Dad put in a full-sized Quidditch pitch in the backyard after that, said I needed as much practice as I could get. The house-elves have been practicing with me lately but it's a confusing order to tell them to try to not let me win. They get disoriented by the fact that I want to win but don't want them to let me so they tend to run into the line of bludgers and let me score or tell me where the snitch is."

"-my uncle hasn't walked ever since he moved out of his parents' house, for decades he just had the house-elves carry him. I think a couple broke their spines though, so now they just side-long apparate him from room to room-" Sirius was chattering animatedly up towards Remus who was kindly ignoring him, turning the page of his book.

"Did he never get his apparition license?" Peter chirped, a look of surprise on his features. "Was he not a very good wizard or did he just not want to learn?"

James and Sirius gave Peter an identical look of bewilderment. "Of course he did, he's a _Black_," Sirius said slowly, as if talking to a retarded person.

Peter blinked, no look of comprehension dawning on his features. However after a moment he nodded jerkily. "Oh, yeah, of course," he said.

Remus reached into a secret pocket in the folds of his robes, pulling out a smooth piece of Honeydukes chocolate and preparing to pop it into his mouth.

Sirius's hand shot up, plucking the piece of chocolate from Remus's fingers and away from his open lips. He dropped it into his own mouth, chewing contently.

Remus glared down in contempt. Sirius smiled in a pitying way. "I do this because I care," he said around the piece of chocolate.

"Guys, are you even listening?" James said irritably.

Remus looked up from his lap, glancing at the bespectacled boy. "Yes, but James-"

"-it'll be great, don't you think-"

"James, I've not got a broom," Remus said impatiently.

Sirius sat up abruptly, a look of horror identical to his Gryffindor best friend marring his features. "No broom?" Sirius mouthed. James looked as if he may faint.

Sirius swung a look of deep pity in the werewolf's direction. "Don't worry, mate," he said, "I'll buy you one-"

"-I've not got a broom either-" Peter cut in.

"-and don't try to talk me out of it Remus, I will. You're one of my best mates, you're a Marauder! No Marauder or best mate of mine should go without a broom."

"Aren't those really expensive?" Remus asked hesitantly.

Peter frowned.

"Nonsense Moony, no such thing as too expensive for a friend of mine. I could buy you fifty brooms." He clapped a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"But I don't even really like Quidditch-" Remus began his protests.

"I like Quidditch," Peter said quietly.

"-you will once I get you the top of the line, Nimbus 2002. I'll even get it signed by the Chudley Cannons team, really it'll be something, you'll see-"

"-I love the Chudley Cannons!" Peter cried with a look of both excitement and distress.

"The Chudley... What?" Remus said.

"You two are _disgusting._ Hello there Remus."

The four boys looked up in unison to a frowning Lily Evans, her arms crossed over her chest, she had two friends with her. James lit up like a Christmas tree bauble, Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Wotcher, Evans," Sirius drawled, his eyes narrowed.

Lily looked past the Black heir and focused on the werewolf who had long forgotten his book in his lap. "Remus," she said in a tone so sickishly pleasant, Sirius knew it could only mean evil, "I'd like you to meet Annie, she's a year ahead of us." Lily motioned to a thin, timid looking, blonde haired girl beside her.

Remus looked at the sixth year Gryffindor and nodded, his stomach coiling in response to some emotion he couldn't pinpoint.

Sirius shifted closer to Remus, putting his arm around the boy's shoulder in a seemingly casual way. Remus leaned into the touch, welcoming the relaxation that came with the gesture.

Lily scowled at Sirius, who smiled smugly in response, and then looked back to the older girl, "You wanted to ask Remus, something, right Annie?"

"Oh, yes, I, uh. Remus. Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" The girl nearly whispered, battling to keep her eyes on Remus and off the floor.

"No, not going to happen. Sorry, Remus is already going with me this weekend, right Remus?" Sirius interjected loudly.

"Carrie told me that you were going with her though." Lily smiled vindictively at the infuriating boy.

"Who's Carly?" Sirius asked, clearly confused.

"_Carrie_, your _girl_friend, you two went to the dance together last Saturday. Remember?" Lily was pointing at the other girl beside her, a curvy brunette.

Sirius cocked his head to the side, studying the girl, "Ah yes, well Carla doesn't mind if Remus comes. Do you?"

"_Carrie_. And, yes. She does." Lily looked meaningfully at the mute girl, who looked down at her shoes instead of protesting. Lily growled.

"See, she doesn't mind at all. So, sorry about your rotten luck. Maybe you should ask one of those blokes over there instead." Sirius said lazily, pointing at a group of third years.

"Shut it Sirius. I think Remus wants to go. Don't you Remus?" The red-head looked encouragingly at the werewolf.

"Uh, well, I-"

"See, he doesn't want to. Now shove off Evans." Sirius's eyes were growing darker by the minute.

"I will not _shove off _until you let Remus answer, unless" Lily paused, an evil smile crossed her features, "unless you are only interfering on behalf of someone you know who already likes Remus and think it would upset them," she finished, a feigned look of concern on her face.

"As a matter of fact, I am...My cousin, Nymphadora." Sirius hedged.

"Isn't she only 2 years old?" Peter asked, a look of pure confusion.

Lily smiled tauntingly at Sirius, "Sounds serious. But, I think Remus would rather go out with someone closer his age. So, anyone else?"

Sirius stood up and walked casually over to Lily, until they were less than a foot apart. "What's wrong Evans? You seem more of a bitty than usual. That time of the month?" Sirius spoke lowly, to keep the conversation more private.

"I warned you, I told you last year that if you messed _things _up, which I knew you would, that I wasn't going to stand idly by." Lily stopped, took in a deep breath, and resumed more calmly, "He deserves to be happy, you can't keep him isolated like this, while you date whomever you choose. So, just let Annie and him go to Hogsmeade together, I think they'll really hit it off. They'd make a great couple." Lily tried desperately to reason with him.

"Over my dead body," Sirius said menacingly, taking another step closer.

"That can be arranged," Lily stepped forward and matched his tone, bringing them even closer.

"I don't think I like your tone, Evans."

"Well, I don't like your face, Black."

"Oh, it's so on."

"Bring it on."

"It's already being brung."

* * *

"Do I look like I've put on a little weight? I mean, my clothes haven't been fitting as well and today I had to use an enlargement charm on my bracelet because it was cutting into my wrist." Lily asked a group of her friends nervously. She was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall nibbling on a grapefruit and drinking a cup of tea, no cream or sugar added.

Sirius leaned his head on Remus's shoulder, his body shaking. The werewolf was about to ask him what was wrong when he heard a snort, followed by supressed sniggering.

"Please tell me that you did not do what I think you did."

Sirius's head popped up, a mischievous smile sprung to his lips, "Well, did you happen to think that I have been adding nutrient potion to Evans's drinks for the past week?"

"Have you?" Remus asked suspiciously.

"Answer my question first," Sirius teased, as he picked up a cinnamon roll and took a big bite. "Yum, this is soooo good. I just can't seem to keep my weight up. It's so hard to eat all this food sometimes." He spoke loudly enough for the whole table to hear, his words slightly muffled by the food that he was still chewing.

Lily scowled at him and then picked up her tea to take another sip, "Lily don't!" Remus had jumped up from his seat and grabbed the cup from the surprised girl. Understanding quickly spread across her face as she looked from the apologetic werewolf to his friend, who winked at her and wiggled his fingers in a wave as he chewed enthusiastically on another mouthful of cinnamon roll.

"BLACK!" Lily grabbed her wand, but the Gryffindor beater was already halfway out the doors, shamelessly ducking behind innocent students.

**Flashback to be Continued**

* * *

Have a Safe Monday

Who got the Futurama nod? Hmm?


	13. All is Fair

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Too bad you weren't hexed too Moony." -Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Mild language, dirty war tactics, weird mental pictures and throwing elbows.

**Disclaimer**: Author 2 didn't steal the cookies from the cookie jar either. (Actually she did, she's a jerk, but it wouldn't be a disclaimer if I said that.) Also, we do not own the song Mr. Saxobeat by Alexandra Stan.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy birthday dear meeeeee...hey, are you just mouthing the words?

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN - All Is Fair  
**

* * *

**Flashback Continued  
**

Remus walked down a busy corridor with Lily on their way to lunch. "I'm glad we have Ancient Runes together this year, I don't think we would ever get to talk otherwise," the girl said, frowning, her mind obviously drifting to his friends.

"Lily, I'm really sorry about the nutrient potion, and the wart hex, and the...What I'm trying to say is, if I had known about any of them ahead of time I would have told you. I am just so sorry," Remus apologized emphatically.

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's not like you are responsible for the actions of those imbeciles." Lily tried to reassure her friend.

"Well, I'm just glad that you are mature and level-headed enough not to respond in kind. The worst thing you could possibly do is engage Sirius when he is acting this irrational." Remus started laughing at the idea but stopped when he realized that Lily hadn't joined in, and was instead studying her nails rather seriously as they walked.

"Lily?" Remus asked, his voice slightly strained, taking in her intentional avoidance as she scraped the tip of her shoe on the floor, refusing to make eye contact.

"Lily, you _can't_ win with him, and even if you do win, you will still lose. Please tell me you didn't do anything," Remus pleaded for her sake.

"Er, maybe I should just show you," Lily said as they reached the Great Hall. She put her hand on the door, pushing it open as an answer.

Remus looked in the hall to see everything seemingly normal at first glance. However, he quickly noticed everyone was staring at their house table, specifically at his two close friends.

"No," he gasped taking in the sight.

James and Sirius were sitting at their table, in their usual spot, chatting amicably, calmly eating lunch... in only their underwear. Everyone was staring at them, the boys laughing, most of the girls blushing and whispering to each other.

"Could you pass me some more bread, Prongs?" Sirius looked oblivious to his lack of clothing.

"Sure thing, Padfoot. You know, we should do this more often, I feel like I'm at home in my own kitchen. Dumbledore did agree that we were technically in swimsuit-like apparel when Slughorn tried to send us away without eating, so maybe he'd be open to the idea of a Casual Friday. Ah, there's our Moony." James had looked up and spotted the werewolf at the door, mouth agape, and was waving him over.

Sirius turned around as the werewolf staggered over. "Remus, I saved you a seat!" He pulled the still shocked boy down on the bench beside him.

"Is something wrong Moony? You look like you've seen a troll, or...maybe the most fit body in your life." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Remus's traitorous eyes scanned up and down Sirius's torso, his cheeks on fire, before he could stop them. Sirius's smile got even wider, and he scooted closer to his clothed friend and whispered softly in his ear, "Too bad you weren't hexed too Moony," a suggestive smile making Remus's chest flutter.

Sirius turned to watch Lily stomp by, clearly incensed at her failed prank. "Hey Evans! You should try this some time, that is, now that you've lost those extra pounds." Lily reeled around and shot a death glare at Sirius, who just flexed his biceps in response, a cheeky grin on his face.

The furious girl said nothing, sat down and started loading her plate, a scowl on her face, ignoring her traitorous friends who were openly ogling the two quidditch players.

"Do you think this would be a good time to ask Lily out?" James asked, a mouthful of potatoes in his cheeks, scanning all the birds staring at him.

"Yes-"

"No! James, no." Remus cut off Sirius. "I mean, you wouldn't want her to say yes just because of how...good...you look. Y'know?" Remus added to avoid hurting his friend's feelings.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It really wouldn't be fair, I mean, who could resist this?" James asked motioning down at his exposed body.

"Nobody, Prongs, nobody," Sirius agreed, shaking his head solemnly.

* * *

"That was the best ever. Did you guys see Professor Binn's face in first period?" Sirius said as he walked on his hands across the dorm room. Peter was sitting on his bed clapping in awe.

"Yeah, my favorite part was when he suggested a bathroom break. We didn't even have those when we were first years." James was lying on his back on his bed, his head hanging over the edge, so he and Sirius were oriented the same way.

"You guys. This needs to stop. None of the fifth year girls would even sit down in Transfiguration class, and McGonagall gave them all detention this evening when they wouldn't tell her what was wrong." Remus said as he rifled through his trunk for a pair of pajamas.

"I really liked the rotten egg smell, it was a nice touch," Peter complimented Sirius.

Remus tried not to smile at the comment. The girls had pretended to be unaffected by the whoopee cushion hex at first, that is, until they realized that an odor had been added to the charm.

A chuckle escaped the werewolf's lips, but he quickly managed to school his features. "Why exactly did you decide to hex all of Lily's roommates too though? This is getting out of hand." Remus didn't like how the feud was seemingly growing to encompass more people every day.

"Well, we didn't plan on that...it was more of a bonus." Sirius turned in circles, still on his hands, evading the question. His shirt had come untucked and Remus was trying not to stare at his stomach. The werewolf shook his head and busied himself with organizing his nightstand.

"Yeah, Lily has started avoiding us. So, we just shot the hex under the girls' dorm a whole bunch of times while they were sleeping last night," Peter offered excitedly, earning a glare from James and Sirius for tattling.

"That doesn't sound very safe, and how did you guys even get up there? The staircase is charmed to not allow males up the stairs." Remus frowned in thought.

"I don't think you want to know, mate." Sirius said, finally pushing himself upright. He pulled his shirt off for bed and walked over, giving Remus a kiss on both cheeks, "Night Mummy."

* * *

Lupin sat alone at the Gryffindor table eating his breakfast, glancing up at the front doors every few seconds.

"Where are they?" Remus jumped at the question, he looked over to see Lily, a wild gleam in her eyes.

"Oh, hey...Lily. Do you mean James and Sirius?" Remus asked, studying the girl with a look of concern. Her hair looked slightly unkempt and there were dark circles under her green eyes.

"Maybe they weren't comfortable coming down to eat. I guess you can just bring them up some food." She smiled eerily, taking a large bite of her quiche. "Oh my, this tastes _so_ good this morning. Did the elves do something different to it today?" She asked shoveling another bite into her mouth.

Remus took a small bite of his food to check, not noticing any difference. "Perhaps...oh, there they are," he sighed in relief at their clothing, they were standing right outside the hall in school robes, the only difference being they were slightly over-sized.

Lily jerked her head up at the two boys, her eyes like lasers, taking in their thinly veiled excited looks. "What are they getting at?" she asked, frowning and setting down her fork, her food forgotten.

James and Sirius walked in purposefully, followed by Peter, who was holding a music player.

"Hey, that's mine!" Lily protested, seeing Peter as he pushed the play button.

A muggle song, Mr. Saxobeat, started playing. "They stole my music too!" Peter took out his wand and put it in front of the speaker, amplifying the music with a modified sonorus charm.

Sirius stepped forward at the sound of the louder beat and took off his robe, throwing it to the ground, revealing a surprisingly female body, clad in girl's clothing.

"You have got to be kidding me." Lily muttered in absolute disbelief as James followed suit.

_You make me dance, bring me up, bring me down, play it sweet  
_

_Make me move like a freak, Mr. Saxobeat._

The two _boys_ made their way towards the Gryffindor table, shaking their hips, and other newly acquired female parts, proudly.

"You know, they're actually pretty decent as girl dancers," Remus laughed to himself incredulously.

"Wait, that's my Hello Kitty shirt! They're wearing my clothes!" Lily exclaimed, torn between disbelief and disgust.

_Oh, yeah, mmm yeah, mmm yeah _

_Oh oh, yeah, mmm yeah, mmm yeah _

The hall had started cheering and clapping, excepting the Slytherin table. Many of the students got up out of their seats and started dancing to the music as well. Lily looked up to the teacher's table to see Slughorn fighting an amused smile and Dumbledore tapping a finger to the catchy beat, his eyes twinkling.

"You know the worst part is that we figured out the pitcher of water in our dorm had been compromised after only James had a drink. Sirius drank it knowingly, he said he didn't want to miss out on all the fun," Remus told Lily offhandedly, too amused to notice her face getting more red by the second.

Sirius jumped up on the Gryffindor table and continued his dancing directly in front of Remus and Lily, provoking a burst of catcalls and whistles from the crowd below.

"Aghhhhhhhhh!" Lily screamed, spun out of her seat and stormed out of the hall.

"Guess she's intimidated by my curves. I can't say that I blame her though, this shirt looks much better on me. C'mon up big boy." Sirius beckoned to Remus with his index finger. Remus, sighed and shook his head, knowing if he accepted he'd probably regret his decision later.

_Hey sexy boy, set me free, don't be so shy, play with me_

_My dirty boy, can't you see, that you belong next to me._

_Hey sexy boy, set me free, don't be so shy, play with me_

_My dirty boy, can't you see, you are the one I need._

Remus smiled, "Actually, it'd be my honor, ma'am." He offered his hand, finding he didn't care anymore and allowed himself to be pulled up, and started dancing with a disturbing looking Sirius.

* * *

"I have seen enough! I know Dumbledore believes in trying to let you all work out your differences without intervention, but you have _forced_ my hand. I cannot let this go on any longer. I expected more from my house, hair growth and love potions?" Professor McGonagall shook her head in disapproval, glaring sternly at a bearded Lily Evans and a clearly love-sick Sirius Black.

"I'm so sorry professor, but, but...He deserved it!" Lily yelled uncharacteristically in front of the teacher.

"Mr. Black, do you have anything to add?" The professor looked doubtfully at Sirius, who had a huge smile plastered to his face.

"He's just, just so dreamy. I mean even his name, Mooooony. You know, the _moon_ is out at night, and that's when you _dream_. Coincidence? I think not. I've been absolutely crazy about him for _years_, but I can't keep it a secret any longer. I'm going to go find him right now so I can tell him how I really feel, and leave you to deal with this creepy bloke." Sirius made a grossed out face at Evans and turned away.

"Aghhh!" Lily jumped at the disoriented boy, tackling him to the ground.

"That's it! Detention for two weeks, all of you." Professor McGonagall pointed at all of the fifth years in the Gryffindor common room, including a very pale and wide-eyed Remus Lupin who had just walked in.

* * *

"Remus. Hey, there you are. Are you okay?" James asked putting his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"What was that?" The werewolf looked up, lost in thought. He had been staring at his feet.

"Sirius asked me to check on you. But the truth is, we're all a little worried for you mate. You've been avoiding us the last few days," James said gently, sitting down beside the sandy-haired boy.

"I'm sorry, I just don't know how to face him. I heard what he said. Even if he _was_ given love potion it wouldn't explain away what he said in front of everyone, he said _years_ James." Remus buried his face into his arms.

"Yeah I caught that too."

"That's all you have to say? Aren't you supposed to come up with some explanation other than the most obvious, being Sirius has a _thing_ for me," Remus spat out, his eyes glaring at the Black Lake. _What a stupid name for a lake_.

"Listen, I know you're upset-"

"Upset? No. No, I am absolutely furious. I'm furious, at Lily for unwittingly putting me through this, at Sirius for keeping _that_ a secret, and most of all at myself for being so damn naive!" Remus jumped up from the ground and started pacing.

"I mean, who does he think he is? Years? I have been so messed up about this, Prongs! He has had girlfriend after girlfriend, parading them right in front of me like it was _nothing_. And stupid me, I told myself, '_it's not his fault, you can't blame him, he fancies birds, not blokes. It's not like he's choosing them over you, you're not even an option.'_ And, and all those times he's flirted with me! I mean, I just thought that was part of the madness that is Sirius Black, not that he actually meant any of it! Do you have any idea how guilty I felt every time I was affected by his advances, thinking they were meant in jest, and that I was an awful friend for actually _feeling_ anything," Remus ranted, not noticing the chin drop and look of realization on James's face, quickly replaced with a look of sympathetic understanding. "And, I don't even know how many girls he scared away when they'd show any real interest in me. I was such a fool! I had convinced myself he did it because he somehow just _knew_ I wasn't interested in them, that he was looking out for _me._ I actually appreciated it! When in reality he just couldn't stand for me to be with anyone else, even though he couldn't bring himself to be with me either, at least not without a girlfriend on his arm. " Remus looked more furious than his friend had ever seen him. He leaned over, putting his hands on his knees, his breathing uneven.

"All of it. It was all about _him_, never me," Remus said painfully.

"You're right, he's a tosser," James agreed simply.

Remus laughed bitterly, his shoulders losing some of their tension as his breathing slowed down.

"Moony, are you..I mean, what I'm trying to ask is...you fancy blokes, right?" James asked carefully, Remus's eyes grew impossibly large, and he quickly added, "Because I don't care, _at all_, if you do. It just seems that's what you are saying, and if so, that's definitely something you could just tell me. You don't have to keep it a secret. Merlin knows I've had no such reservations when it comes to Lily." The werewolf snorted and James pushed him playfully, before continuing more seriously, "You are one of my best mates and I can't be there for you, like I should be, if you keep things from me. Really, I always kind of assumed that _was_ the case. Just because you've never seemed too keen on girls."

Remus dropped back down beside James and ran his hands through the grass, pulling up a few blades and dropping them back down. He sighed, "Yeah, I suppose I do '_fancy blokes'_. I just didn't know what to do about it."

James put his arm around the werewolf and smiled mischievously, "Well, I'm no expert, but I suppose the first thing to do would be to catch yourself a very fit bloke for snogging."

Remus looked up at his long time friend and blinked, "James, if you ever say that again, I will make sure to tell Lily about your teddy, Beeble Bear."

"Hey, I've told you guys, my _mum_ packs him, and I'll have you know that a lot of students bring stuffed animals to school!" James defended himself.

"Yeah, they're called first years!" Remus jumped up, laughing, and took off as James ran after him.

**Flashback End**

* * *

It's my birthday today. I'm just sayin'. *Author 1 smiles expectantly*


	14. I Can't Get No

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Well, maybe if you weren't acting like a complete arse I wouldn't have the uncontrollable urge to kick you." -Remus Lupin

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Ummmm. Nah, I don't want to ruin the surprise.

**Disclaimer**: Mary didn't have a little lamb and neither do I.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** We just want to thank you all for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting. It means the world to us! xx

* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN - I Can't Get No  
**

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"Pst! Pssst! Moony! Hey Moony! Earth to Moony!" Remus continued reading his advanced potions book, pointedly ignoring the whispers. It was followed with the expected giggles, Remus rolled his eyes.

"Oh Moooony! Moonsy? Moonster? Moo-ooof, hey! That was uncalled for!" James protested.

"Well, maybe if you weren't acting like a complete arse I wouldn't have the uncontrollable urge to kick you," He said, looking disapprovingly at James, avoiding Sirius completely, as the two boys lay on the floor by his feet in the common room. The former was rubbing his stomach, where he had been kicked.

Sirius pushed himself up and took another drink of the half-empty bottle of fire-whiskey. "Aw, you're no fun Moony. Zero fun. Nay, negative fun. Am I right Prongs?" He looked to his drinking buddy for confirmation, when Remus refused to answer or even look up.

"Truer," James hiccuped loudly, he seemed to be more affected by the alcohol than Sirius, "truer words have never been spoken Padfoot. Come on, Remus! You can't just sit there and read, you're missing out on all the fun. Here, have a sip. Just one, teensy, weensy, eensy...uh-"

"-Peensy?"

"Yes, peensy sip." The laughing returned with more fervor now, accompanied with sloppy high fives.

Remus rolled his eyes, he knew that drinking had been a bad idea when James first suggested it. The two inebriated boys were mad enough sober. Giving them anything that would lower their inhibitions further was just asking for trouble.

The werewolf also had a strong suspicion that James had gotten it in hopes that it would help him and Sirius get over the awkward stage they had found themselves stuck in for the past three weeks. Sirius knew that Remus had heard his love potion induced rant and had been acting strangely around him ever since, and the werewolf, though not really angry anymore, didn't know how to proceed either.

The day after Remus had talked to James down by the lake, he had decided to try and just pretend nothing had happened. He had told Prongs it was because he didn't want to do anything that might jeopardize his friendship with the Black heir, but truthfully he had been too terrified of how Sirius would respond. So he had decided on denial. However, his first and only attempt had been a complete disaster. He had walked up to his friends in the common room and nonchalantly sat down by Sirius, his hand accidentally brushing against the boy's thigh. The usually affectionate marauder had practically jumped out of his skin at the innocent touch, and had fallen off the couch. He had then stood up and mumbled something about needing to do his homework and ran off, not even coming down for dinner that night. Remus had been so devastated by the reaction, he had taken to only sitting by James or Peter, reading even more than usual, and not being alone with the raven haired boy at all costs.

"-I love her you know. I do."

"I can tell. Just the other day, when I saw you hide that exploding snap in her purse in Charms, I thought, now, now _there's_ a wizard who's found true love." Sirius tried to pat James on the head affectionately but just ended up smacking him in the face a few times instead.

James didn't seem to notice. "So, do you think I should just go tell her? I mean, it's only fair to give her a heads up, right?"

"Yeah, for sure mate, you wouldn't want her to be heads down," Sirius answered nonsensically. James nodded his head in complete agreement.

Remus considered stepping in and trying to stop the bespectacled boy, but knew it would be purely in vain. Once those two started on a train of thought it was impossible to derail it.

"You're right. I'm going to do it," James said, still lying on the ground.

"Well, what are you waiting for? The sooner the better mate! Seize the day!" Sirius encouraged his friend.

"Okay, I will! Remus, hey Remus, have you seen Lily?" The werewolf looked up begrudgingly from his text to find two sets of glazed eyes locked on him, as if he held the secrets to the universe.

"Yes, actually I have. She, ah, said that she was going to go visit Hagrid," Remus lied to his pissed friend, knowing he would thank him in the morning.

"Excellent!" James pushed himself up off the ground, only to fall immediately back over. "Ow." The two boys started laughing again.

"Let me help you there, Prongs." James pushed himself back up with Sirius's help, his friend helping him until he managed to balance himself upright.

The disheveled boy attempted to smooth his hair and adjust his tie, failing miserably, "You look great, better hurry!" Sirius smiled.

James turned and staggered out of the common room. Remus watched the door shut, hoping that Lily would not leave her dorm again for the night.

"He's so screwed," a voice whispered huskily into his ear.

"Ah!" Remus jumped and jerked his head to see Sirius had made his way on to the couch, very quickly at that, and was practically sharing a cushion with the werewolf.

"Uh, yeah. Well, wait, why did you encourage him then?" Remus nervously asked as he scooted away from the drunken marauder, and moved to the edge of the couch, planning to leave as soon as he got his answer. The grey-eyed boy watched his movement quietly, sighed and took a large swig of firewhiskey.

"I just thought it'd be nice to spend some time with you, alone, that's all. Lately, you only talk to Prongs when it's the three of us, and it's never just the two of us anymore, so I had no choice. He had to go." The black-haired boy smiled bitterly. Remus was surprised how foreign the smile looked on the animagus's face.

One of the first things Remus had noticed about Sirius Black when he had started at Hogwarts was his smile. The Black heir almost always had a smile on his face, despite his mood. He had angry smiles, where he bared his teeth like a snarl. He had closed-mouth mischievous smiles when he was planning something. He frequently had manic smiles, where his eyes would be wide open and slightly unfocused, when he was not quite as lucid as he should be. His flirty smile was a lopsided grin, with his eyes focused intensely on the subject of his infatuation. And on very rare occasions he even had a joyful smile, where all his features relaxed fully, his eyes would soften and they would light up his whole face, making him even more unbelievably handsome.

Remus frowned, his chest tightening unpleasantly, as the smile he had on right now made the sandy-haired boy want to reach out and comfort him. He looked like he was in pain. Remus scooted back from the edge but restrained himself from touching him, he didn't want to relive the rejection he had felt the last time they had touched.

"So, alone time?" Remus asked, his mind seemingly incapable of intelligent conversation.

"Yeah, just you and me. Why have you been avoiding me Remus?" Sirius scooted once again closer to the werewolf, his voice softening, a worried look in his eyes.

"What? No. No, I definitely have not been avoiding you," he denied and pushed up from the couch only to be pulled back down gently.

"Don't go. I just miss being around you. I miss you Moony. Don't you miss me?" Sirius had a soft hold on the other boy's arm to prevent him from trying to leave again and was staring intently into his eyes.

Remus was desperately struggling to think clearly, his normal reactions to Sirius's proximity had seemingly multiplied since he found out that his attraction was not so one-sided, and after weeks of avoiding him he felt like a live wire.

Remus cleared his throat. "Well, I've just been really busy with studying," he offered weakly, not really answering his question.

"I see. Can I try something?"

"Sure, what?" Remus agreed blindly, relieved that the usually persistent boy had dropped the uncomfortable questioning.

"I really want to kiss you," Sirius stated simply, the intensity in his eyes belying his casual tone.

"Uh. Wh..what?" Remus swallowed hard, his heart sped up, and his chest felt funny when he breathed, making it a little unsteady.

"Have you...have you kissed any other boys Moony?" Sirius took one of his hands and gently placed it on the side of Remus's neck, his thumb caressing the werewolf's jawline.

"Uh. No. Not, not unless you count family members." Remus found himself staring at the grey-eyed boy's lips, his heart thumping wildly.

Sirius tilted his head. "Well, maybe if you were in my family. But, seeing as how you're not. I'll take that as a no." He nudged the werewolf's chin up slightly with the pad of his thumb and began to slowly lean in, closely watching the other boy's reaction to his advances.

"Please stop," Remus blurted out, just before their lips could touch. Sirius paused, backing up only slightly. Remus could smell his breath as he let out a soft sigh. It smelled like alcohol mostly, but also a little of mint and chocolate.

"You don't want to kiss me, Remus?" the black haired boy's voice was heavily strained, his breathing shallow and his large pupils were boring down heavily on Remus.

The werewolf closed his eyes, and took in a trembling breath, letting Sirius's relaxing scent invade his senses again._ You do want this Remus, just take it._

"-I know! I am so excited for our date!" The werewolf jerked away from Sirius as the door to the common room swung open, putting several feet between them on the couch. Sirius, who hadn't moved, stared at Remus with a look like he had been slapped in the face, as a group of four girls walked into the common room chattering.

"Sirius, I've been looking for you!" Emily Patterson, a leggy, seventh year Ravenclaw walked over and sat herself down on Sirius's lap. He didn't respond to her, his eyes glued on Remus, as if he hadn't noticed.

"Moony-" he started, looking every bit crushed.

"What's got you so down, my handsome boyfriend? Hmm? I think I know what will cheer you up-" the girl leaned in without warning and planted a kiss on the distracted boy's lips.

Sirius's mind jump started as the girl's lips crushed against his. _Oh no. Remus_! He pulled back quickly, just in time to see the look of pure hatred on his friend's face as he left the common room.

**Flashback End**

* * *

Sirius Black shot up off the pillow he had been sleeping on, a cold sweat covering his entire body. He peered out the single window from the bedroom of the Shrieking Shack, his breathing ragged. It was still dark out. He groaned and pushed himself out of bed, his limbs shaking. Once standing, his form blurred as he turned into a black, shaggy dog once more.

The canine took a few steps, its head hung low, stopping right before the doorway beside a large claw mark gashed deeply into the wall. A small whine slipping out before it threw its head back and let loose a mournful howl.

* * *

**So, this is a very first attempt at an intimate scene. Please, please, please review and let us know what you think. Otherwise, we will have no clue if it needs improvement in the future. **


	15. Down in Flames

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"What? You can trust me." -Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Wahahahahaha!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own the song Grenade by Bruno Mars hinthint. Or Harry Potter.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** We just want to apologize in advance. Yeah.

* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN - Down in Flames  
**

* * *

"Professor Lupin, I thought perhaps you might need this. Just as a reminder of how things, and people, have changed." Severus Snape slammed down a picture, one Remus had purposefully been avoiding, in front of the DADA professor. The werewolf said nothing, but kept his line of sight steadily on the potions professor and away from the Azkaban flyer. _Alas, I was too hard on my mates. Snivellus truly is an arsehole_.

Snape smiled viciously and continued, "It would _seem_ there is a breech in the Castle's wards. That is, unless, _someone_ here is helping Sirius Black get in, an old _friend_ perhaps." He looked at Remus meaningfully.

"I'm sure that is not the case Severus. No one here would want young Potter to be in danger."

The potions professor curled his lip in distaste at the surname. "No, no indeed. Nevertheless, I will leave this photo for you, so you will be able to recognize him, when the time comes, because we both know it will. And don't worry, I have _plenty_ of copies," Snape goaded the now livid professor before turning on his heel and stalking away.

Remus focused intently on the retreating potion professor's back, lifting his wand up shakily in his direction before slashing it downward at the moving picture, "Incendio." The picture of Sirius screamed and laughed silently as it was engulfed by the flames.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

Remus stared up at the stars, pointedly looking at a section of the night sky not containing the nearly full moon. He couldn't handle any more than he already was tonight, he groaned, laying back on the concrete, his arms and legs stretched out carelessly.

The werewolf had stormed out of the common room before he and Sirius had kissed, but not before he and his _girlfriend_ had and right in his face to boot. _What is wrong with me_? Remus rubbed his forehead in frustration as he remembered once again stopping the animagus from kissing him.

_I really want to kiss you_. A shiver ran through Remus as he remembered the desperate look emanating from Sirius's eyes, and how it had shot straight through his chest.

The sandy-haired boy rubbed at the phantom pain, cursing at himself for freaking out. Being a werewolf had not been easy on Remus, his family had warned him of the prejudice and hatred he would undoubtedly face when he started Hogwarts and possibly for the rest of his life. He had taken the anti-werewolf books in stride, learned to ignore the newspaper articles on Fenrir Greyback, and had even been able to write his werewolf paper for his DADA class without too many sleepless nights.

One thing they had not prepared him for though was the insecurities Remus would battle due to his condition and the stigma surrounding it. When the young wizard had first started school he was afraid to make any friends. He had convinced himself it was because he wasn't supposed to let anyone find out what he was, a monster, because if they did he could be forced to leave Hogwarts. Remus leaned on this excuse comfortably until his three roommates had discovered his secret in second year.

_'Remus! Why did you run off like that, we weren't finished dancing, and you missed the cake too. Don't worry though I brought you a slice. I had to hex Peter to keep it safe, don't believe James, it was completely necessary._' _Sirius held out a slice of chocolate cake that had the face of a werewolf drawn on top of it in icing. 'Wha...you, you mean you don't...you're okay with..what I am? I'm, I'm an abomination Sirius!' Remus had shouted at the raven haired boy, who was dipping his finger in the other boy's icing and licking it off, staring on in bemusement at the outburst. 'Yeah, well, that's what my mum says all the time about me too. So, flocks of a feather, eh mate?' He smiled, offering up the slice of cake again, Remus reached out this time, returning his smile._

After his friends had accepted him without any hesitation Remus knew he should be able to relax and enjoy their friendships, but he couldn't, not completely. Despite how close he and his friends were, there was always an underlying fear they might come to their senses and just drop him one day. He wouldn't blame them, not really, he knew what he was capable of doing.

His anxieties had slowly lessened over the years, but he found he was easier on them than he should be at times. He would look the other way when Sirius was unjustifiably mean to someone, he wouldn't try too hard to stop James when he was torturing Severus Snape, and he didn't take up for Peter enough when he was slighted by the other boys. He knew it wasn't okay, but old habits were proving hard to break.

Despite his significant struggles with his mates, he had found that his insecurities concerning Sirius were on a _whole _different level. Once he realized Sirius was attracted to him he realized how wrong it could all go. There was the very real possibility that if things went badly he would not only destroy one friendship but three. He didn't see how they could remain the marauders if things ended ugly between him and Sirius. He also worried that the very attractive animagus was too flighty to want an actual relationship. The Black heir was inarguably considered the most eligible bachelor at Hogwarts and he obviously loved it, no he absolutely thrived on it. Remus couldn't begin to fathom the grey eyed boy settling down with one person, let alone with a bloke. He had been very vocal in the past about his fascination with the female body.

Remus covered his face with his hands, he couldn't picture his life without Sirius. He just didn't know the best way to fit him in it, without possibly losing him.

"I thought you might be up here." A clearly agitated Sirius was standing on the top step of the astronomy tower, his hands stuffed into his pockets, attempting to look nonchalant.

"I really just want to be alone, could you just go?" Remus choked on his last word, not looking over.

"I would, really, but I don't want to." Sirius replied airily but still walked over cautiously, sitting down beside the hazel-eyed boy, who pushed himself up into a sitting position protectively. He started to reach a hand out towards his hurting friend.

"Please don't." The grey eyed boy stopped, studied the werewolf, and slowly dropped his extended hand to his side.

"Listen, I didn't know that-"

"Why did you come here, Sirius?" Remus tiredly asked his friend.

"Do you really have to ask? Isn't it obvious? I care about you," he answered, hurt clear in his voice.

Remus laughed incredulously at the declaration, his face in his hands.

"Just, tell me what I've been doing wrong, well...before tonight. I'm pretty sure I don't need that one explained to me," Sirius attempted a joke, trying to push away the feelings caused by the persistent mental picture of Remus's reaction to Emily kissing him. _Why did I even start dating her?_

"And what would that help Padfoot? Huh, tell me, because I would _love_ to know." Remus laughed bitterly.

"Well, so I could fix it. So I could fix us, Moony." Sirius smiled and tried again to touch the boy, placing his hand gently on the other boy's hand.

"There is no _us_." Remus scoffed, flinging the boy's unwelcome hand away.

"Oh, well, I didn't know that's how you felt." Sirius replied quietly, his gaze hardening.

"Oh come off it, Sirius. You know very well we are not a couple. You and Emily are a couple, you and Carrie were a couple. Don't act like you and I are anything more."

"Why didn't you just tell me that you didn't like me dating them?" Sirius asked accusingly, his frustration flaring into anger.

"Right, because I could have just said '_Padfoot, I really don't like that you are dating that bird'_ and you would have responded with_ 'Why thank you for sharing that with me Moony. I will break up with her straight away because my love life is____ purely_ for my friends' enjoyment.'"

"Hell Remus! I don't know. What do you expect from me? I'm screwed up all right? I don't even know why I'm doing what I am half the time. But I _do_ know that if you would have hinted at or even just frowned once, _one time_, when they were mentioned or around I would have noticed it. But you didn't! Not until today at least. What exactly do you want this to be?" He motioned between himself and the other boy at the last question.

"I don't want to do this." Remus jumped up, clearly agitated with the turn their talk had taken.

Sirius reacted, standing up quickly and blocking his escape. "Don't. Leave. I absolutely _loathe_ it when you get upset and just bolt. You wouldn't believe how miserable it is," he said in a dark tone.

"Well, I'm sorry I make you so miserable," Remus threw back.

Sirius started laughing, his eyes taking on a wild air, a confused look on his face. "For bloody Merlin's sake, are you _trying_ to drive me absolutely mad, Remus?!" he exclaimed, gripping the werewolf by his shoulders.

"I said, don't touch me." Remus pulled away from his hold.

"Why not! Why can't I touch you anymore Moony? Why?" Sirius's voice dropped off as he stepped closer to the boy, until they were less than a couple inches apart. He looked at him pleadingly as he slowly moved closer, his tongue darted out nervously to moisten his lips and his hands twitched, but remained at his sides. "I like touching you Remus. I like _you_. I mean, I really, _really_ like you."

Remus stepped back, his mind stuttered. _W__hat?_ He found himself frozen without a response.

"Do you like me? I mean as much as I like you?" he asked, anxiety filling his voice, as he looked desperately for some sort of reassurance on the frozen werewolf's face.

Remus felt his chest start to expand, warmth filling it momentarily, before reality hit him hard. "Sirius, listen, I admit, we have these..moments..but, but you are really worked up right now, and it's understandable that you might _think_ you have strong feelings towards me. But you're not ready for anything serious- "

"-Don't patronize me. Just tell me if you feel the same way."

"I can't."

"You can't." Sirius repeated his words monotonously, defeat apparent already in his eyes.

Remus just shook his head, his eyes were burning and all he wanted to do was make Sirius feel better. "Padfoot, your friendship is very important to me. I can't imagine if we were to-"

"Don't. Just. Don't," Sirius said and turned and walked off, leaving Remus.

"Sirius, wait. Please, just let me explain!" the sandy-haired boy called after him.

"Bugger off!" Sirius shouted up, not bothering to stop as he stomped down the stairs.

Remus stood there alone, watching until Sirius was out of view.

"Bollocks, this really is miserable."

**Flashback End**

* * *

Huh? Huh? Huh?


	16. Swing, Swing

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Is it something I said?" -Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Don't put metal objects in the microwave. Put grapes. They go boom. But a safe boom.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Harry Potter. What?

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** aggghhhhh! I'm choking on my own excitement! So many wonderful reviews! Please check after story note. It's uber important.

* * *

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN - Swing, Swing**

* * *

Remus tapped his fingers against his desk, Marauder's Map in his lap. He glanced up idly, looking at the students in detention as they scrubbed the Grindylows tank. Seeing that they were both invested in their task, he slipped a piece of chocolate into his mouth discreetly.

The Quidditch players were quiet, shooting each other death glares and scrubbing the grindylow tank with quite a lot of ferocity for cleaning.

He pulled back a folded corner of the parchment, eyes scanning the map. He noted his own name and the students in the DADA classroom. A dot on the grounds just out the window of the classroom began to move.

_Sirius Black_.

Remus's eyes widened gradually. He leaned over his desk, almost in a daze, looking out the window and knocking over several parchments, quills and ink bottles in the process.

The dark outline of a large, shaggy black dog sat illuminated by the setting sun, head angled up towards the classroom window.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"You...can't...do...that...it's against..the rules!" Sirius's fist punctuated each pause.

"Sirius! Sirius! Stop it! Get a hold of yourself!" James pulled a hysterical Sirius off of the Ravenclaw beater, Alec Zabini.

"He was cheating! I had to do it!" He kicked at the boy as he was pulled away, his arms pinned behind his back.

"You're out Black! Go cool down!" Coach Ryan yelled as he jogged over to the still struggling Gryffindor beater.

"You gotta be kidding me! Didn't you see what he did? You should be _thanking_ me!" Sirius protested incredulously, straining against James's hold.

"What, you mean how he hit the bludger out of the pitch boundaries? I'm pretty sure that was on accident, he was just protecting his seeker."

"That's what he wants you to think! He's sneaky, he should be in Slytherin. That slimy bast-"

"Out! Now! You take him Potter, he'll just attack anyone else if I send them." The coach gave one last exasperated look at his best Gryffindor beater before turning to check on the now sitting Ravenclaw boy.

James nodded, fighting hard to hold on to his friend, and started pulling the belligerent boy along with him towards the Gryffindor changing rooms.

Halfway to the locker room Sirius stopped struggling. "Actually, I'm feeling much better now Prongs, really, you can let me go," his voice eerily calm, his gaze still coolly pinned on the Ravenclaw beater.

"Not going to happen. Just keep moving."

"What? You can trust me." A crazed laugh followed his words, his eyes rolling back into his head somewhat.

James rolled his eyes and shoved the still protesting boy into the room, slamming the door behind them. He turned towards the door, lifted his wand and muttered, "Colloportus," locking his friend in the room. He was glad he had the foresight to grab his wand off the bench when the grey eyed boy first knocked the Ravenclaw beater off his broom and started towards him.

James took in a few calming breaths and turned away from the door. "What. Was. That." he demanded as he approached his friend step by step, who was now leaning his forehead on a locker. He would pull it back, slowly, and proceed to let it drop against the locker once again with a resounding bang every five or so seconds.

"I told you, he broke rule 321, section B, subsection 9! I _loathe_ people who don't follow the rules. They're there for a reason, you know? But I guess _some_ people think they're too good for the rules!" Sirius had moved away from the locker and was now pacing back and forth restlessly, looking every bit his animagus counterpart and eying the door lustfully.

James sighed, running his hands through his already wind blown hair.

"Is this about Remus?"

"What? Why would you say that? What does _Remus_ have to do with any of this? Are you implying that he will be upset that I hit Zabini? Like, just because they talk sometimes, share study notes, and have eaten lunch together the last couple days that he would care at all what happens to that _rule breaker_'s..too..perfect..face?" Sirius kicked at someone's bag on the floor. "Are you saying he has _feelings_ for him! Because I don't think I like-"

"-Sirius! No. No. Calm down. That is not what I meant at all," he said calmly but forcefully, his wand out but not pointing at his friend.

"Good. Because he doesn't! He doesn't." Sirius shook his head, sounding less and less sure of himself.

"I know."

Sirius froze, clearly taken by surprise, his gaze straight ahead, "You do?"

"Yeah."

"Really?" Sirius looked to James, his eyes full of doubt.

"Definitely."

"Er, good, good. How do you _know_ that? I mean, I know that. But I'm just wondering how you know that too," Sirius hedged.

James smiled knowingly. "Well, Remus strikes me as a one-bloke type of guy, and he still obviously has feelings for you. So, despite how Alec might feel I'm positive it's not reciprocated."

Sirius smiled at that, his body relaxing as he sat down on a chair, "Yeah, that's what I thought too."

"You know, I think you're going about this the wrong way though. Remus is friends with Alec," Sirius growled, but James continued, "and so he's probably going to be really upset about you attacking him."

"Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I should go apologize to the bloke." He got up and started to walk towards the door.

"No, wait Padfoot. You've been kicked out of the scrimmage, remember? It's probably best to wait until he has time to calm down anyway."

"Yeah, you're right. Plus, he'll most likely realize he deserved it once he has thought about it for a bit. He'll probably want to apologize to _me_." Sirius smiled graciously.

"Maybe...but as I was saying. You need to take a different approach. You need to do _nice_ things to make Remus realize you are..committed..to making a real go at you two," James suggested, hoping Sirius would take to the idea. He couldn't handle his angry outbursts for much longer. It was really cutting into his Lily-wooing time.

"So, like buying him stuff?" Sirius struggled with the new concept.

"Yes, maybe only on holidays though. Remus doesn't like it when you try to buy him things all the time. You could even do just small things for him. Like when I offer to carry Lily's books or pick her flowers. Be thoughtful. Try acting like you did with him before you became a ginormous jealous git."

"Yeah, yeah I got you Prongs!" Sirius's smile huge, as he started plotting.

* * *

"I need some more ink-"

"-Let me get that for you, here you go! Three of them, and some extra quills just in case you want to use different colors for easier reviewing."

"Thanks.."

"But of course!"

"Oh, I forgot the notes Lily loaned me. They're in my dorm still-"

"-Nope, I noticed you forgot them and brought them along! Here's my copy too, I took notes that day since you weren't there. I also took the liberty to add my own thoughts in the margins because Professor Binns doesn't always take into account current events."

"Uh, great...Are you feeling okay Sirius?"

"Sure am. What about you? How do you _feel_ Moony?" Sirius smiled widely, at a flustered Remus Lupin, his chin resting on one of his palms as he sat across from the werewolf in the library.

"I, I'm good?"

"Excellent!"

"Yeah..."

"And how are you feeling, Alec? Need any help with your transfiguration notes? I'm known to be somewhat of a prodigy when it comes to the subject." Sirius's smile still there but not quite as relaxed as he looked at the quiet boy sitting beside the werewolf.

"No, I don't.. Oy, what's your game Black?" the beater asked abruptly as he eyed him suspiciously, gently touching the healing bruise under his left eye.

"What, you're not still upset about our little scuffle are you?"

"_Little scuffle_? You pushed me off of my broom when I was 10 feet off the ground and then punched me until you were pulled off of me!" The Ravenclaw's voice escalated to a yell.

"Library voice please," he chastised, and then added thoughtfully, "I also kicked you a few times, which I am very sorry about by the way. And do you have anything you'd like to say to me?" he asked, dipping his chin with an expectant look in his eyes.

The Ravenclaw stared at him not responding.

"Well, maybe later then. Everyone processes at their own _rate_. So Moony, plans for this weekend?" he asked innocently, ignoring the scowl forming on the other beater's face.

"I guess just Hogsmeade," Remus responded quietly, his eyes glued to his parchment as he wrote.

"What a coincidence, I'm going to Hogsmeade _too_! We should go together."

"Right." Alec scoffed.

"What was that Zabini? Would you care to join us?" Sirius asked casually.

Remus's eyes shot up, shock written over his entire face. "What did you just say?" the werewolf breathed.

"I was just inviting your mate to join us this weekend, if he wants to that is. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine Remus," the black haired boy said emphatically, placing a hand on his chest over his heart.

The Ravenclaw glared openly at the seemingly friendly Gryffindor. "This is a great big load Remus. You don't believe any of it do you?" Alec spat finally, his patience run out with the chatty Gryffindor.

The werewolf looked over at the Ravenclaw boy, "Believe what?" he asked carefully, his face a masked, cool expression.

"That, that he's not completely and utterly _evil_, that's what! He's a Black for Merlin's sake! It's in his blood! He's a monster, and _nothing_ he does can ever change that, it's his _nature_. This is just all an act!" the bruised boy tried to convince the werewolf, his eyebrows furrowed with frustration at the hazel-eyed boy's tolerance.

Remus stared at him for a moment, blinked and responded with an air of quiet calm, "I think you should leave, Alec. Now." Remus flicked his gaze back down to the paper in his lap, seemingly disinterested in the conversation once again.

Zabini gaped at the sandy-haired boy, trying to catch his gaze for a moment and failing miserably. Looking regretful, his eyes then turned to Sirius and narrowed. "Fine." He grabbed his books, pushed out his chair loudly and stomped off, muttering to himself.

The two marauders sat in silence until Remus finally spoke up. "Just go ahead and say it," he muttered, avoiding eye contact with his friend.

"You mean that I'm sorry? Because I _really_ am Moony, I should have never beaten up your friend, even if he is a cheater," Sirius tried.

The sandy-haired Gryffindor looked over, surprised once again. "Consider it forgotten." He smiled warmly at the black haired boy, despite the whirl of emotions pushing at the edge of his conscious, who returned his grin wholeheartedly.

Remus leaned forward to continue his work once again. As he wrote he started to shake slightly, his vision tunneling. He took in a sharp breath.

_Just don't think about it_, the werewolf told himself silently.

A hand gently touched his own. Remus started at the touch and looked up into Sirius's eyes.

"He was talking about _me_. You know that Remus, right? _Only_ me."

"What?" Remus feigned ignorance.

"Zabini, those _things_ he said. They don't apply to you. Not at all."

Remus felt the overwhelming feelings slowly melt away, replaced by a tight but oddly comforting and familiar pressure in his chest. "Yeah, right. I, I know that. Sirius...they don't apply to you either."

The Black heir grinned, Remus returned the look with a small, more hesitant smile, their hands still touching as they resumed their school work.

* * *

"What's he doing now?"

"Uh, I can't really tell."

"What?"

"Well, he's standing right behind a post and...ahhhh!" Peter cried out as he fell, the ladder he had been standing on having toppled over.

"I'll just check myself," Sirius climbed up one of the bookshelves, in Tomes and Scrolls' bookshop, clearly having forgotten about his job of steadying the ladder.

"Peter, are you okay?" James helped the chubby boy get up, handing him his binoculars he had dropped.

"Yeah, I'm okay but-"

"-Who does she think she is! The _nerve_. Like she can just walk right up and _talk_ to him!" Sirius glared out the window, making wild hand gestures with his free hand.

"Shouldn't you be out there with him instead of spying on him from in here?" James asked impatiently, as he began flipping through a book on classic quidditch moves.

"Prongs, Prongs, how am I supposed to learn anything about him if I am with him? Plus, I really needed to look for a certain book," Sirius finished cryptically as he continued to stare out at the boy.

"But you already know Remus." Peter said, checking for chips in his new binoculars.

James looked up at his best friend. "Did you say a book? You do know that's one of those things with paper and words on the inside that you avoid at all-"

"-Okay, he's walking this way. He's, oh no, he's coming in here! Abort, _abort_!" Sirius jumped off the bookshelf, landing on an unexpecting James.

"Ooof!"

"Ow. Now James, I'm pretty sure we went over, as best mates you're supposed to be a squishy landing pad when necessary."

"Ugh, when did you get so heavy Padfoot?" James had his hands on Sirius's chest, trying to push the boy off.

"Stop wiggling, you're making this harder!" One of Sirius's hand had somehow gotten trapped in the other boy's robes in the crash, and he had reached his other under to try and untangle it.

"What are you guys doing?" Remus stared at the scene in front of him. Sirius and James were lying entangled on the ground. Peter was standing above them, with a pair of binoculars in his hands.

"Uh..."

"Well..."

"I'm waiting!" Remus's cheeks started to blush, his eyes narrowing.

Sirius's eyes lit up at the werewolf's reaction, a smile flitted across his face, "Jamesy here just wanted to know what it was like to be snogged by the infamous Sirius Black, and Peter here is clearly a closet voyeur."

"What! No, absolutely not!" James finally succeeded in pushing his friend off and jumped up.

"What do you mean 'absolutely not'? I would be quite a good catch for you Potter!"

"What's a voyeur?"

"Sorry Moony, we have to go. Come on Wormtail!" James scooted by the agitated boy, motioning to their slow friend.

Remus silently watched the two boys leave, his eyes stayed on the door after they left.

"All right Moony?" A teasing voice cut through the werewolf's thoughts.

"Oh, yeah. So, uh, what were you and James actually doing down there?" Remus said, embarrassed but unable to stop himself from asking.

"I could show you." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at the hazel eyed boy.

"Sirius..."

"Yes, I'm completely serious."

* * *

"I found it! I can't believe I found it!" Sirius announced as he ran into the boy's dorm.

"What, your brain?" James dead-panned, twirling his wand in circles between his fingers as he read about the Chudley Cannon's most recent win on his bed.

"No, I found a Christmas present for Moony! _The_ present really. It's perfect. I had to get help from my uncle, because the seller is overseas, but it should be here in time for the Holidays since I paid extra. I'm telling you, he is going to _flip_ when he sees it, and then I will have him right where I want him." Sirius cackled, his head thrown back and hands splayed out wide apart, as he stood in the middle of the room.

"And where is that?" James asked, eyeing the boy warily.

"Well, he said that I wasn't ready for a relationship, right? But once he sees this gift and therefore how thoughtful I am he will realize how much I've changed, moving me _clearly_ out of the friend-zone. Then I'm going to ask him if we can give it a proper go." Sirius beamed, dropping down beside his best mate.

"What about that bird, Emily? Shouldn't you break things off with her first?" James asked as he scooted back to make more room for the stretched out marauder.

"What? We were never a _real_ couple. She just followed me around all the time and it was _assumed_ I was her boyfriend, so I let that happen, and I guess she caught on. It was never anything official. I didn't even like her." Sirius brushed off Prong's concern, staring up at the curtains happily.

"This is going to be great, trust me."

**Flashback End**

* * *

"Padfoot," Remus breathed.

"Professor Lupin?" one of the students said with mild concern, looking at the splattered ink stains across the floor and shattered glass.

"You-guys-that's good," Remus said shortly, "you're good, that's good, don't hit each other again. Yeah, okay, detention dismissed," he said with distraction.

Remus shoved the marauder's map and his chocolate bar into the top drawer of his desk, locking it with a wave of his wandless hands, and darted out the classroom door before the students even had a chance to respond.

* * *

**So, we have decided that Tyson Ritter (from the All-American Rejects) is very Siriusesque, and by that we mean that we believe J.K. Rowling's Sirius character, through sheer will, pushed himself into the real world and took the form of a gorgeous Oklahoman just so he could sing us beautiful songs.**

**Thoughts?**


	17. Leave Some Morphine At The Door Please

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Go away Padfoot, I'm busy snuffling Lily." -Remus J. Lupin

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

* * *

**Warnings**: Debauchery.

**Disclaimer**: Neither of us own a Porsche 911 turbo, with natural red leather interior and classic Porsche white exterior paint and, and... *starts crying and runs away*

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** Are you guys still with us? Hullo?

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - Leave Some Morphine At The Door Please**

* * *

Remus ran through the hallways, the sound of his shoes smacking on the ground echoing through the quiet corridors, ignoring the few students still about as they stared at the usually reserved professor sprinting at a mad dash.

_Please don't leave. Please don't leave,_ he pleaded in his head, his heart thumping wildly in his throat. His thoughts solely on reaching Sirius before he left.

Remus got to the front doors and his hand reached out shakily, freezing halfway to the handle.

_What do I do if he is there? Do I confront him? Should I try to bring him to Dumbledore? Maybe it's best if I don't go out, but then I run the risk of never seeing him again, he might leave and not come back._

The werewolf's hand darted out and jerked open the door. Remus moved out onto the steps, breathing heavily and looking around for any movement before he started to sprint once again towards the place he had last seen the shaggy dog, _Sirius. _He blocked out the difficult decisions that awaited him.

Remus made it to the area below the DADA class and stopped, his heart dropped. _Nothing_. He began sweeping the surrounding area for any sign of the animagus.

"No!" Remus leaned over, his hands resting on his knees and took in a shuddering breath. He froze as his senses were flooded once again by the disconcerting scent he had awoken to the morning classes had been cancelled.

_It was Sirius,_ his mind reeled at the discovery.

The professor straightened up and took a few experimental strides away from the castle before taking in another deep breath, the scent was stronger. He continued, walking slowly, until he was on the outskirts of the dark Forbidden Forest, the sun now completely set.

"Padfoot?" Remus called out uncertainly into the dark recesses. He strained his eyes and ears and waited for movement, a noise, anything.

"Padfoot!" he yelled, his voice breaking on the name. He stood rooted outside the tree line not able to turn away and return to the castle.

Remus started to take a step towards the forest when a growl reached his ears.

"Pad-Sirius? Is that you?" he asked gently so as not to scare away the animagus, stopping in his tracks.

A large black dog slowly moved out of the shadows, its teeth bared, head forward and chest rumbling with a menacing growl.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"Go, go, go, go, go!" the whole of Gryffindor house chanted as Sirius chugged a cup of firewhiskey.

"I can't believe that we won the championship!" Peter yelled to Remus over the roar.

Remus and Peter sat on a couch in the corner of the Gryffindor common room, as James and Sirius stood in the center, surrounded by their fans.

"Yeah, it's the first time in Hogwart's history in which the Quidditch team who didn't catch the snitch won," Remus informed his friend as he watched on in disapproval as the Black heir picked up another drink.

"Maybe we should go over there," Peter suggested, eyeing their popular friends longingly. "I'm going go check if James needs help pouring the drinks." Peter pushed himself up and made his way over slowly through the crowded room.

Remus studied a group of fourth year girls who were seemingly dancing closer and closer to the star Quidditch beater.

"Ahhhhh!" Sirius shook his head violently, slamming down his cup, the crowd erupted into cheers.

Remus frowned, _how many cups is that now_?

"Still getting the silent treatment?" asked a sympathetic voice. The werewolf looked up to see a smiling Lily Evans, with a cup in each of her hands.

"Yeah, I guess so. I tried to say I was sorry again today, but he just said he didn't know why I kept apologizing and that is was never a big deal. Then he walked off." Remus sighed in frustration at what James had annoyingly coined the 'Christmas Present Debacle of Sixth Year'.

"You need this. Here." Lily handed a cup of clear liquid to her friend.

"What is this?" Remus sniffed at the cup only to regret his decision right away. "Ugh, this is firewhiskey Lily!"

"Yeah, yeah I know. But, I figured if I was ever going to drink it would be tonight. I mean, Potter is basically a God after today's win," she paused, rolling her eyes dramatically before continuing, "and also I thought you might need a drinking mate. You've been a mess Remus, just relax for a night."

The werewolf glanced up at the room again. Peter was standing behind the drinks table, with a towel over his forearm, happily serving the other students as they walked up. James was sitting in a chair replaying his shots to a circle of mesmorized fourth years on the floor. And Sirius, _Sirius_ was currently dancing in the middle of the Balaji twins, cup in hand, with a huge smile on his face.

"Yeah, you're absolutely right Lily." He held the drink up in the air. "Cheers."

* * *

"Lilypuff, Lilykens, Lily flower, Lilypoo! I mean how does he manage to butcher it so thoroughly!" Remus laughed uncontrollably at his friend's rant. He had never realized just how funny she was until tonight.

"He's so mad about you though. You know that, right? I mean, he acts really tough, but, but it tea-ers him apart when you say no. No, no, no, noooooo.. Have you ever realized how much fun that word is?" Lily snorted into her third cup of firewhiskey as she listened to her brilliant friend.

"I never knew. I mean, I just thought it was a game. Ya know?" Lily smiled at the revelation as she placed her empty hand thoughtlessly on Remus's thigh, a surprised laugh escaping her lips.

"Well, you were wrong. Lily Evans was _wrong_! Oh no, somebody alert the Quibbler for it truly must be the end of the world. The apocalypse is surely, surely nigh. Everyone, into your bunkers!" Remus swung his cup around clumsily, sloshing some of the contents on himself before laying his head on Lily's shoulder. "You smell good Lily," the boy mumbled, nuzzling her hair.

"Thank you Remus dear, it's probably the chocolate scented _shampoo_ I nicked from Meg in the _loo_." She laughed at her rhyme as she massaged her fingers through her friend's scalp.

"Remus?"

"Go away Padfoot, I'm busy snuffling Lily." The two drunken friends started giggling at his verb choice.

"Have you two been drinking?" Sirius stood above them, his eyes wide open in shock.

"Oh, impressive deductive reasoning Black! Someone give him a Nobel prize." The witch's statement was followed by another round of giggles.

"Moony, it's late. You're coming with me." Sirius's face had grown very dark, watching the two prefects giggle and cuddle.

"No! I must stay with Lily. My delicious Lilybean." Sirius's eyes narrowed in to slits as a grinning Lily wrapped herself tighter around the werewolf in response to his defiant words.

"What is going on! Moony? Evans?"

Remus and Lily jumped apart at James's exclamation.

"Oh, uh.."

"Hullo Potter."

James stood in front of the two friends, staring down hopelessly lost.

"Yeah, so.. I was just going with Padfoot. Later Lily!" Remus shot an apologetic look at his inebriated friend, who glared back, and moved towards Sirius's safety.

Sirius silently took Remus's arm as he stumbled towards the stairway to the boys' dorm.

"Hope I didn't ruin your night _Padfoot_. You seemed pretty keen on those twins," Remus said in a snarky tone.

Sirius didn't respond as he helped his friend up the stairs. He opened the door, let go of the werewolf and moved inside the dark room without turning on a light.

Remus stepped in the room only to fall two steps in. "Oof," he grunted before laughing at his misfortune not even attempting to get back up.

"Here, let me help you there Moony," a disgruntled voice offered.

Remus found himself being pulled up by two hands. Once standing he found himself quickly tipping forward again, but he hit an upright body this time, instead of the floor.

"Uh, hello Remus," a slightly confused voice greeted from the dark.

The werewolf reached his hands out blindly, finding the black haired boy's face. He gently patted his high cheekbones. "Sirius," he greeted sweetly, a smile playing on his tired lips.

The Black heir tensed at the affectionate response, but didn't move away. "So, uh, you and Evans then?" he asked in a strained tone.

"What? No. Of course not!" Remus protested, throwing his hands up in the air and then resting them around the boy's neck. "I don't like girls, Sirius," he whispered softly against the other boy's collarbone.

The grey eyed boy shivered. "Oh.. Not at all?" he asked just as quietly.

"Nope, only blokes. Like _you_," he sighed into his friend's shirt, rubbing his face against the plush material.

Remus felt two arms slowly wrap around his waist pulling him closer until he was leaning completely against the now very tense animagous, hot breath brushing his face.

"You're my best mate Sirius," he murmured softly into the calming puffs of warm air.

The werewolf heard a sigh as the arms around him loosened. "Moony, I really should get you to bed."

* * *

"Remus! Remus, open up!" Sirius banged on the door to the dorm bathroom. "Come on, I need to get in there! I have a _date_ tonight!" He lifted his hand again to knock on the door only for it to be jerked open, an angry looking Remus in its place.

"This bathroom is for everyone in the dorm I'll have you know. There are four of us in here, so technically we should split the time in to quarters," Remus huffed.

Sirius started to respond with a caustic remark when his brain caught up with his eyes. Remus was standing with a towel wrapped around his hips, droplets of water still on his upper body, his arms crossed over his bare chest. The black haired boy's eyes widened, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Uh..."

"Whatever, you can have it now," Remus growled, walking over to his trunk. Sirius turned and watched as the sandy haired boy leaned over and rifled through his belongings.

"He's pretty fit, huh?" Sirius jumped at the smiling voice.

"Geez James! What do you think you're doing sneaking up on me like that? You almost gave me a heart attack!" The flustered boy glared at his smiling friend.

"I didn't sneak up on you. I said hello when I walked in, tapped you on the shoulder and waved my hand in front of your face first. You were just a little _distracted_." James lifted an eyebrow, tilting his head at their werewolf roommate who was oblivious as he dressed.

Sirius's eyes narrowed at his best friend.

"Maybe you should try to talk to him. He apologized over two months ago, Padfoot," James whispered.

"No way."

Remus grabbed his wand, having finished dressing. "Hey guys, I'm going to the library. I might be late." He turned, not waiting for a response and left the room.

Sirius turned to his friend after the door shut. "Listen James. I really tried with Remus, but he's more difficult than any bird I've ever dated."

"Yeah, but every girl you've dated has been an idiot about you. They never say no or disagree with you. It's just not good for you," James argued.

"What, you think I should just let Remus treat me like Evans treats you? I'm not a doormat, Mate," he threw angrily at the bespectacled Gryffindor.

James brushed off the insult, a huge smile crossing his face. "Actually Lily has agreed to go on another date with me."

"Are you sure it's not a trick?" Sirius asked, one eyebrow raised skeptically.

"Listen Padfoot, I just don't want to see you make a big mistake. But, if you're absolutely sure you are over Remus then I'll back off." James looked doubtfully at his friend.

"Yeah, I'm," Sirius paused, swallowing hard, before finishing, "sure. Really. This is for the best."

James shrugged. "Okay, if you say so." He walked over to his bed and jumped on it. "Hey, so my parents have offered to let us use the beach house in Hawaii this summer. What do you say? We could go down for a month or so right after term. There are loads of wizarding families nearby and most have kids our age."

"Sounds good. I'll see if I can get my parents to agree with it. Is, uh, _Peter_ coming?" Sirius asked, his back turned as he grabbed a set of clothes from his trunk.

"Yeah, but not for a couple weeks. He has to spend some time with his mummy first," James joked, and then added cautiously, "Remus agreed to come as well, is that going to be a problem?"

Sirius's shoulders tensed before answering in a casual tone, "No, of course not. He's a marauder too." He walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

**Flashback End**

* * *

Remus gasped and took an unconscious step back.

"Padfoot. It's-it's me," he attempted to say in a soothing voice but was unable to keep his voice steady. The animagus was shockingly thin and ragged, but the worse part for Remus was the feral look in its eyes.

The dog growled louder at the sound of his voice, it's hackles now up, and continued stalking towards the werewolf slowly, looking ready to pounce.

"Sirius, please. Don't do this. It's me, Remus!" his voice rising in distress and hands stretched out in front of him, not reaching for his wand in his robes.

The animagus stopped suddenly at the sound of the familiar name, cocked its head to the side and seemed to study the man in front of it for a moment. It's eyes widened and it took a few quick steps back towards the forest, letting out a small whine.

"No, don't go! Please! Just talk to me!" Remus cried, desperation soaking his words as he started towards the retreating form.

The dog turned and bolted back into the pitch-black forest.

* * *

**Bruno Mars' songs are soooo angsty sometimes! :-P**

**Please Review :)**


	18. My Mind's Unweaving

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving, maybe it's best you leave me alone..." -_It Ends Tonight_, All-American Rejects.

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

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**Warnings**: Drugs are bad, mmkay? Also DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, listen to It Ends Tonight by All-American Rejects when reading this.

**Disclaimer**: Send water.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** EEEEEEEEEEP. SO MANY REVIEWS. SO MANY. Shout out to **d'or pomme** ;D you are certainly the golden apple of our eyes *o* plus we'd also like to thank our more regular, long-term (it's already been a month guys wooww!) reviewers, ** TechNomaNcer28 , Lizzy0308, hellomynameislucifer **and** RavenclawDoctorSilveo **and all** the rest of you. **Please don't be scared by our PMs.

ALSO THERE'S AN IMPORTANT NOTE AT THE END.

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**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - My Mind's Unweaving  
**

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**This is last chapter in Sirius's POV. Just FYI. If you like this, let us know, we could do it more often. If you hate it, also let us know :D  
**

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**Flashback Start**

"Sirius, you were so great out there!" The grey eyed boy smiled woodenly in response to the tinkling voice, picking up on the adoring tone but not really paying attention to the content of the words. He looked around the Gryffindor room distractedly, taking in the scene, an empty cup in his hand, pointedly keeping his eyes away from one corner of the room, where he knew Remus to be sitting right now.

The Gryffindor room had been decorated in celebration of the big win. There was a banner stretched across the room that read in Gryffindor red blinking letters, _Slytherins Suck_. Sirius smiled halfheartedly, it had originally read _Potter Rules_, but he couldn't let his friend's head get any bigger than it already was so he had changed it before the chaser could see it.

_We just won the final match. Why can't I enjoy myself?_ Sirius forced an outward smile at a group of giggling fourth years near him, his insides crawling with unpleasant emotions.

Sirius walked over to a table set up in the middle of the room with butterbeer and firewhiskey, serving himself a cup of the latter. Alcohol was not uncommon at Gryffindor parties, especially for the older students. The beater had been gobsmacked though when he had found out that the student who had donated the alcohol for this particular event had been none other than goody-two-shoes, prefect Lily Evans.

The grey eyed Gryffindor stood drinking, as much of the house was dancing to music. He frowned, the girls were even more clingy due to the combination of the Quidditch win and the liberal amounts of alcohol pumping through their impressionable veins.

"Sirius!" The Balaji twins waved, smiling and motioning him over. The sisters were dancing together as they eyed him covetously.

Sirius winced, holding his hand up in acknowledgement but not approaching, a grimace struggling to overtake his face. He couldn't help noticing how simple-minded they were when drinking, they wouldn't shut up tonight.

The grey eyed boy had always just kissed a chatty girl to quiet things up a bit, but he had found his stomach revolting as of recently from the once easy act. _Moony_. The boy picked up another cup and started drinking fervently, as if he had been poisoned and the cup held the antidote.

The Black heir didn't want to think about Remus. He had patently refused to admit to the werewolf that he had been truly hurt by his friend's present refusal.

_"Please Sirius! I am so so sorry. Just say something to me."_

_"Sure, how about...It was just a stupid book Remus! Now, get over it. I'm not even upset," Sirius lied before forcing a tight-lipped smile and turning to leave. The werewolf reached out and grabbed his sleeve. Sirius stopped but didn't turn around._

_"I just, I want things to go back to how they were before. Ya know? Please Sirius," the sandy haired boy said shakily._

_The animagus's chest constricted painfully, but he still refused to look at the boy. "I told you Lupin. I'm fine. We're fine. Now, I have to go. _Someone_ is waiting for me," he grounded out between clenched teeth._

_"Oh." The werewolf dropped the other boy's sleeve quickly, clearly thinking he was going on a date. Sirius clenched his teeth tighter fighting the urge to turn around and reassure the sandy-haired boy._

_"It was never a big deal. Now just drop it," he said coolly before making his escape from the only person who could, and had, truly hurt him._

The Balaji twins moved closer, clearly oblivious to the beater's antisocial signals, giggling and looking up at him through heavily makeuped eyelashes. Sirius rubbed his stomach, looking away from the girls, an unbidden thought pushed forcefully to the forefront of his still too clear mind,_ I bet Remus is clever even when he is piss drunk._ A pang shot through Sirius's chest and he tried to wrestle back control of his rogue mind.

_Why are you torturing yourself? He doesn't care about you! Remember?_ he chastised himself, finishing yet another drink.

_"I don't care what you do Sirius. Do you want to know why?" Remus had snarled, sounding every bit the werewolf._

Sirius hadn't needed him to finish. He understood, he had heard it all before._ "I don't care what you do! You disgust me Sirius Orion Black. Do you hear me? You are absolutely worthless!"_ his mom's voice taunted him.

Sirius grabbed desperately at another drink, oblivious to the encouraging yells, "Go, go, go, go!"_ I just need to stop thinking_, he drank in solitude amidst the chaos. The alcohol burned his throat, but he welcomed the feeling, "Ahhhh!" his roar much more than an expression of his physical pain. He focused on the banner, trying to keep his balance and smiled as the depressing thoughts finally began to melt away with the burn of the alcohol.

"Let's dance girls!" the hollow voice was followed by giggles.

* * *

"I just don't like you that way, I'm... sorry," Sirius offered lamely, his head starting to throb as the alcohol began loosening its grip on his mind.

"You're sorry? Sorry!" Emily laughed bitterly, standing with her hands on her hips. "I have put up with so much crap from you Black! I've watched you flirt with other girls, kiss them, and, most of all, listen to you whine and moan over your stupid nerdy friend! And _this_ is how you repay me!" the girl screeched, her face an interesting shade of purple.

"Yeah.." Sirius rubbed at his temples. Breakups were not kind on headaches, and he couldn't feel too sorry for the girl. _Why had she stayed with me to begin with?_

"My parents told me to put up with it, to hold out, because _your_ parents told them we were a sure thing! I was supposed to be the next Mistress of Black Manor! They already made the arrangements. You _can't_ dump me," the girl said menacingly, an ugly smile twisting her features.

Sirius's head had popped up at the girl's revelation and his eyes took on a sinister look as he leaned towards the girl. "Watch me," he hissed.

He turned on his heel and stalked away, his mind working too fast, the pain in his head increasing._ How dare them! They can't even spare a look without a hateful jab or appearing as if they are going to lose their lunch, and here they are arranging my marriage! That will _never_ happen. Marriage? I could never do that to..._ The black haired boy glanced discreetly to the corner of the room.

_What in the hell is going on?_ Sirius's eyes wide as he looked and saw Remus and _Evans_ together.

Sirius stood frozen in place as he took in the very chatty and comfortable looking friends on the couch in the corner. _They look like a couple._ Sirius's lip snarled up on one side at the treacherous thought. His eyes narrowed as Evans placed her hand on Remus's upper thigh. Remus laughed at something and then laid his head on the pretty girl's shoulder and began nuzzling her hair.

Sirius saw red. _That bitch._

"_Remus?_" His own growling voice startled him from his thoughts.

He had somehow gotten directly in front of the two prefects and was staring down, his chest feeling like there was a fire trapped in it, clawing to get out. _There must be an explanation,_ the boy tried desperately to assure himself. He looked at the cup in Remus's hand, clear liquid. _Of course. Just two friends drinking, nothing more, _he attempted to convince himself, ignoring the painful thought that the werewolf had always refused to drink with him.

The hazel-eyed boy did not even bother to look up, "Go away Padfoot, I'm busy snuffling Lily," he mumbled, voice eschewed by the girl's hair. At that the infuriating girl threw her legs across Remus's lap and her arms around his torso, giggling madly.

_Mine._

Sirius's body crackled with rage, and his vision blurred into a fog of red, his mind lost to the world until he felt the drunk boy stumble. Sirius reached out his arm automatically to stabilize him. He walked up the stairs in a haze of fury, when he reached the door he let go of the arm and walked in alone. _Keep it together. You should have expected this. Why would you think-_

The boy's thoughts were interrupted with a crash behind him and some more giggling by Remus. Sirius sighed, snapping out of his thoughts, and slowly leaned over to help up the other boy. Once he was again upright, Sirius quickly let go, touching was too painful now that he knew the werewolf had moved on.

Sirius gathered himself and was ready to move away when the boy fell against his chest. "Hello Remus," he said out of surprise, trying to hide the discomfort in his voice.

"Sirius." The Gryffindor beater closed his eyes as he felt soft hands gently touch his face, tensing when the boy affectionately murmered his name as he patted his cheeks. _What? Maybe. No...he's just drunk. He already has someone else._

Sirius cleared his throat. "So, you and Evans?" he asked quietly, not wanting to actually hear the answer, but trying very hard to distract himself from the heat that was currently spreading out from his stomach since the werewolf had fallen on him.

"What? Of_ course_ not. I don't like_ girls, _Sirius," he whispered against the taller boy's collarbone, sending shivers down his spine.

"Oh, not at all?" the boy asked, still wanting reassurance.

"I only like boys._ Like you._" Sirius's mind reeled at the statement. _Like me. Code for: me. I still have a chance to fix this._ The boy's breath hitched as he felt the sandy haired boy begin to rub his cheek against his shirt. Sirius cautiously put his arms around his usually reserved friend, and when he wasn't pushed away pulled him closer. The werewolf snuggled against the new areas of contact.

_Oh my._ The Black heir smiled, he tilted his head down, moving his lips close to the other boy, who was obviously not thinking clearly. The werewolf made a small appreciative noise and leaned up towards the now mostly sober boy, inhaling his breath. Sirius's pupils grew larger and he began to slowly guide the unaware boy towards his bed. _Remus is a smart bloke. He knows what's going on,_ he viciously fought with the guilt that was trying valiantly to stop him.

"You're my best mate, Sirius." The breathy whisper on his lips stopped him dead in his tracks. _What am I doing? He trusts me and this is how I repay him? I really am worthless._ Sirius felt his stomach drop as he pulled away from the trusting boy.

"Moony, I really should get you to bed," Sirius said and helped the boy climb in to the bed he had just been ready to push him into. Remus curled up and smiled, falling asleep immediately. The black haired boy glanced down at the innocent looking werewolf before turning away, self-disgust overwhelming him.

Sirius trudged over to his bed, pulled off his shirt and trousers that smelled of Remus and climbed into bed. He pulled the curtains shut quietly and laid down, turning his back on the slumbering werewolf. He rubbed his face with his hands desperately trying to clear his head.

_What was that?_

He pulled the pillow from under his head and placed it over his face and let out a muffled cry, his shoulders shaking slightly. He didn't know what to think about tonight. But he did know one thing. He needed to stay away from Remus until he could get his head straight.

* * *

Sirius stood studying the contents of his trunk, trying not to hyperventilate at James's revelation._ Remus_ would be at the beach. He had barely been holding on these past few days. His only consolation had been that he wouldn't see him all summer when term was finished. He didn't know if this was his chance to fix things with the estranged werewolf or a means to end them completely.

**Flashback End**

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**Just kidding nothing important.  
**

**Review, we're serious. We're considering slowing updates down to once a week because we know that there's a lot of you reading, but you guys don't seem very motivated to tell us how we're doing. It's discouraging, it makes us feel like you're bored / not enjoying the story.**

**The people who do review - you guys are gods.**

**The beach is - that way. (AKA: next chapter, beach, got it? Get it? Good.)  
**


	19. These Hands Are Meant To Hold

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Well, is there a difference?"_ - _Sirius Black

_Marauder-focused, Harry Potter Era, story told in flashbacks by Remus Lupin. Beginning in 3rd Year for Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban. Ending may stray from canon. Slash._

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**Warnings**: Watch the _Move Along_ by the All-American Rejects video on YouTube. Or else. Yes, we are a _tiny_ bit obsessed. But, obsessions are healthy. Really.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own a squishy, wiggly, tubby english bulldog puppy with one brown eye patch. *frownie faces*

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** So we did get two new reviewers and we're really easy to please so we posted this sooner than we threatened. Also, we now have a poll on our profile. :-)

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**CHAPTER NINETEEN - These Hands Aren't Meant to Hold  
**

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**Flashback Start**

Remus looked down at the offered hand, took in a deep breath and reached out his own. Sirius took it happily and pulled him away from his room and down the corridor.

"So, what's the plan for _tonight_?"

"You mean our _date_?" Sirius smiled cheekily, picking on the hesitant boy.

"Yes, our, uh, dinner," Remus struggled, he looked down at the floor as they made their way through the hallways of the Potter's seaside mansion.

"You can say it, you know. In fact, I've heard you use much bigger words in very casual context. So, try it with me-"

"-You're a git." Remus cut off the black haired boy. He ran an unsure hand through his hair, leaving it to rest on the back of his neck. "I just feel bad for doing this to Augu-" Remus stopped as Sirius's hand had flown up and covered his mouth before he could finish his sentence.

"No." The grey eyed boy gave the werewolf a level look, his hand still covering his mouth. Remus tried to mumble through the hand, but Sirus increased the pressure to prevent any real words from forming.

Remus pulled away, letting go off Sirius's hand he had been holding in the process. "Stop that! I just feel guilty is all. I didn't even tell him what I was doing tonight. It's wrong." The werewolf took a step back.

Sirius watched the movement. _Fix this. Fix this before you lose your chance you fool!_ Sirius struggled to come up with something.

"Moony. Are you two _dating_?" He held back his vomit.

"No. Not exactly. But there has definitely been _things_." Remus said vaguely.

"Things?" Sirius choked, trying to come across as politely curious, while his brain was screaming and thrashing about in protest. _I knew we should have killed him! I told you it was necessary!_ Sirius's left eye spasmed as he fought viciously to block out the loud voices. He smiled encouragingly at the timid boy.

"Yeah," Remus bit his lip before looking up, an unsure expression on his face.

"Moony, you're killing me here. What are we talking about? Hand holding, kissing or um..." Sirius fought in vain to finish his question, his heart hammering to escape his chest.

"No! I mean, not _that_, or even kissing. Just the holding is all," the boy stuttered, studying the floor again.

"Well, that doesn't seem so serious. Listen, if you want to back out though, I'll understand," Sirius offered, fighting desperately against his instincts to grab the sandy haired boy and run away from the island.

Remus studied James's shoes he was wearing, his chest constricting at the thought. He had missed his friend terribly ever since the Christmas incident, and Sirius was finally open to giving them another go. _I can't pass this by, this is the chance I've been wanting for so long_. The werewolf looked up at the animagus, swallowed hard, and said, "Have your way with me Sirius, I'm ready to go."

The boy's grey eyes widened uncharacteristically before zeroing in on the werewolf, "Just remember that _you_ said that." He smiled wickedly before turning and pulling out a broom from the stairway closet.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Remus yelled over the wind roaring past his ears as he held on to Sirius's waist tightly.

"Patience Moony! We will be there soon enough."

Remus spared a glance backwards, taking in the receding shore behind him once more. He then looked down at the tops of trees as they sped through the air on Remus's neglected broom.

"This really is a great make if I don't say so myself. Have you been enjoying it much Moony?" Sirius asked as he dipped down low enough for their feet to barely brush the topmost leaves.

"Er, not yet. Maybe you could help me with some pointers? It's a little too responsive I find for my untrained hands," Remus responded as he began to swing his feet slightly against the leaves, enjoying the subtle feel through the trainers.

"Oh, I could definitely give you some pointers, Remus." The boy grinned suggestively at the dark sky ahead of him, the werewolf oblivious as he took in the scenery now ahead of them.

"Wow."

Sirius grinned as he slowed down the broom and gently brought them down just meters away from a huge waterfall. Hawaii was famous for its tumbling falls scattered throughout the islands.

"It's beautiful!" Remus stared up in awe at the towering waterfall, as he stumbled off the broom. Sirius reached out to stabilize the dazed boy.

"That's not all. Come with me." He gently took the sandy-haired boy's hand and led him up to the falling water, taking out his wand from his sleeve.

"Seperatum." He waved his wand from left to right and back again. The water slowly began to part allowing Sirius to guide the hazel eyed boy behind the curtain of water, which drew back closed once they were through.

"You did this for _me_?" Remus looked around the cave. There were enchanted candles flickering as they floated lazily around the space, and a table sitting only feet from the cascading water set for two. The table was covered with a black silk tablecloth and was adorned with crystal glasses and covered, golden dishes.

"I would do anything for you Moony," the black haired boy murmured to himself softly under his breath, watching the hazel eyed boy rapturously.

The werewolf walked slowly over to the table, his eyes glued on the natural water show, and lowered himself onto his seat.

"I hope you're hungry, Remus," he said nervously, sitting down across from him.

"Starving," the werewolf admitted as he lifted the cover of his plate. "Oh, hmm, um. What is it?" he asked staring down at the unidentifiable seafood.

"It's squid, I caught it and prepared it myself," Sirius offered proudly. "You said that was your favorite, right?"

"Yes, I do like calamari. But, I think this is some kind of fish, Sirius." He leaned down, looking more closely as he poked at the _food_ with his fork.

"Well, is there a difference?"

"Much." The boy covered his dish when he thought he saw the meat twitch. He smiled reassuringly at the now frowning boy across from him. "Actually, I just remembered I already ate when I visited Lily earlier. I'll eat it later for sure though."

"Okay, if you say so...How about some dessert then?" His face lighting up with such a blinding grin, that Remus couldn't help but return it. The boy lifted another lid that had been hiding an entire pan of the chocolate cake the werewolf had been obsessed with since the first night at the Potter beach house.

"Wait, did you say Lily?"

"Uh, yeah. Ohh, this is delicious." The boy had hurriedly shoved a large bite in his mouth, hoping to avoid the conversation.

"I thought you might like it," the distracted animagus said, taking a sip of his water as he intently watched Remus lick his fork.

* * *

"I should apologize," Sirius started hesitantly as the werewolf served himself another slice of the chocolate dessert, his smile growing with each bite.

"Yes. You should," Remus responded between his bites of cake.

"Wait, how do you know what I'm getting at?" the black haired boy asked nervously, his palms clammy on his lap.

"Oh, I don't really, but you have done a lot of things. So, I'm just going with it." Remus didn't look up from his dish. Sirius lifted one eyebrow, taking in the boy's nonchalant demeanor. _I'll have to remember to soften each confession with chocolate in the future_.

"Oh."

"So, you were saying?" the werewolf prodded.

"Right," Sirius stopped, taking in a deep breath before forging ahead, "I need to apologize for the night you were drinking with Lily. You know, the night we won the Quidditch cup?"

Remus looked up, his eyebrows furrowed and his fork held motionless in the air. "Why would you apologize for that? You helped me get to my bed. I don't know if I would have made it otherwise. I can think of much worse things to apologize for. Such as that time-"

"-Remus."

"Yes?"

"This is important."

"Right. Sorry. Go ahead," Remus replied airily, looking back down at his plate.

"I. You see. It's just. I kind of. I didn't. Aghh," Sirius said incoherently, covering his face with his hands, his anxieties getting the best of him.

"Hmmmm. I see. I forgive you," the werewolf laughed lightly, taking another bite.

"Stop! This is serious!" he exclaimed, his hands on the table as he looked directly at the boy across from him.

"Wow. All right. I won't interrupt." Remus waved for him to continue and set his fork down, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm an awful person Moony!" Sirius confessed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"No you're not, Padfoot." Remus leaned across the table and placed his hand on the other boy's forearm, his eyes soft as he took in Sirius's agitated condition.

"I am! _Really_ bad. Okay, I'm just going to say it." Sirius swallowed and looked down at Remus's hand still covering his arm, his leg twitching under the table. "After I walked you upstairs, to our dorm, I... You fell and I helped you up." Sirius looked up to see the werewolf's reaction so far. _He's going to hate me and then leave, or leave and then hate me. Either way, he'll never forgive me. Why am I telling him this?_

Remus bit his tongue, not wanting to make another joke, despite the innocence of Sirius's confession so far. He dipped his chin and looked up at him encouragingly to signal him to continue.

Sirius nodded and took in a breath, clamping his hands together. "Okay, so after you fell. You said some _stuff_."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, like you said that you didn't like Lily or any girls at that. You said that you liked blokes. Blokes like _me_." He stopped, waiting for Remus to remember what he had done after.

Remus blushed, pulling his hand away and placing it in his own lap. _What in the world is he getting at_? "Go on."

"And you were leaning on me and blowing air on my neck," Sirius continued, fidgeting with his napkin.

Realization dawned on the sandy haired boy. "What! Oh my, I hit on you, didn't I? Merlin's bollocks! I can remember that now. I'm so sorry! I can't believe that-" _Sirius is apologizing for turning me down when I was drunk_.

"-Remus! I tried to take advantage of you!" Sirius blurted out.

Remus stared at the grey eyed boy, blinked a few times and cocked his head to the side. "I'm sorry, what?"

Sirius groaned, "I put the moves on you. I knew you were drunk and I was going to take advantage of you because I wanted you so much." Sirius lowered his face in shame, as he waited for Remus's disgust with him to set in.

"Oh."

"Do you hate me?" Sirius asked, still not able to look up.

"No, it's just. What did you do exactly? I don't remember anything happening," Remus asked, staring at the top of Sirius's head, feeling confused more than anything.

"Well, I put my arms around you," Sirius started shakily.

"Yeah."

"And, and I scooted us close to your bed," he continued.

"All right."

"And I enjoyed the feelings that you were making me feel," Sirius practically whispered, his voice dripping with shame.

"You bastard," Remus dead-panned, a twinkle in his eye.

"It's not a joke. I wanted to do _things_ to you, and you weren't in your right mind. You would have let me!" Sirius was angry now at his friend's indifference to his heinous acts.

"Most likely." He held back a smile. "But you didn't," Remus said simply.

"No."

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this Padfoot but I have had the same thoughts about you millions of times."

"Yeah, but I, but I was going to do it!" _Why doesn't he understand how awful I am_?

"I doubt that. I mean, you didn't, right?"

"Well, no, because you said I was your best friend and I felt too bad after that. So I just stopped."

"Sirius, I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You're a _good_ person, despite what you've been _told_. I don't give my trust easily. In fact, there are only a handful of people that I can say have the honor, and you are one of them."

"But why?" Sirius asked pathetically.

"Because, because you deserve it." Remus smiled warmly at the black-haired boy.

"Right, well now that I've had my fill of cake, let's go swimming." The plate where the chocolate cake had once been was now swept clean of all crumbs and icing. Remus stood up, glancing shyly over to Sirius before he pulled his shirt over his head to reveal an even toner body than Sirius remembered.

_Geez, maybe I should eat more chocolate_. Sirius stood up, a smile playing on his lips, his eyes glued on the other boy.

"Smashing idea."

**Flashback To Be Continued..**

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	20. I Only Want To Be With You

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"I'll kill you!"_ - _Sirius Black

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**Warnings**: Death by snoo snoo. No not really.

**Disclaimer**: We don't own anything, except for the things we do own.

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** Once upon a time we wrote a real Authors' Note. Worst. Five. Minutes. Ever. xx

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**CHAPTER TWENTY - I Only Want To Be With You  
**

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**Flashback Continued**

"Cannonball!" A huge splash hit Remus in the face.

"Merlin!" The werewolf sputtered at the other boy who was currently under the water's surface.

Remus wiped at his eyes before looking up at the clear night sky, a relaxed smile once again crossing his face. He couldn't remember the last time he and Sirius had had the night to themselves. _It's been too long. _He took in a deep breath and lifted his feet, leaning back and flattening his body out so that he was floating on his back, his ears in the water listening to the roar of the waterfall as he stared at the stars.

"Gotcha!" The werewolf found himself being pulled under water by two familiar hands. He opened his eyes in vain, everything was pitch black, and pushed at the hands, trying to reach the surface again.

"Bloody hell! Are you mad!" the werewolf yelled into the air, not seeing the exuberant animagus, as he choked on the water he had accidentally breathed in.

"Yes, about you, Remus," the grey-eyed boy suddenly breathed against the werewolf's nape.

Remus's heart skipped a beat, his breath caught in his throat, water dripping from his hair. "I, I like you too Sirius." The werewolf said nervously, not turning around.

"I'd hope so, or things would get really awkward rather quickly between us," the boy teased, his breath moving from Remus's neck to his ear. "I've got another surprise for you, Moony," Sirius whispered, his breath warm on the werewolf's wet skin, as he placed a hand on the hazel-eyed boy's side underwater, Remus shivered.

The sandy-haired boy felt his legs go weak. "Uh. Oh.. What is it then?" Remus asked dumbly, as his brain had seemingly fogged up from Sirius's steamy breath in his ear.

The grey-eyed boy shifted slightly closer, until the werewolf could feel the heat, from the taller boy behind him, on his back through the water. Sirius leaned forward again and whispered, a smile in his voice, "Look up Moony."

Remus swallowed hard, nodded his head and forced his chin to the sky, trying to ignore the heat spreading through his body.

He searched the sky, not seeing anything at first but soon heard a screeching noise which was quickly followed by a red light, shooting up from behind the top of the waterfall. His eyes followed its path until it reached straight above the two boys and exploded.

Remus was speechless. _He did all this for me?_ His brain was torn between emotions and his body overloaded with stimuli. The werewolf felt tears prick his eyes but at the same time he couldn't stop focusing on Sirius's closeness.

"Do you like it?" the voice nervously asked at his ear.

"I _love_ it," Remus breathed as he stared up at the fireworks.

Sirius turned the other boy around to face him slowly. His face now clearly visible due to the light show above them, and he looked more nervous than the werewolf could remember.

"Remus, listen. I know I've been a huge prick over the years. It's just, I don't really know how to have a proper relationship. I get so upset when it comes to you and I just end up being a huge sodding jerk. But, you mean so much to me, and I would try really hard. That is," the boy paused, took a few breaths and continued, "can we give this, us, a real go? Will you be my boyfriend, Remus John Lupin?"

The hazel-eyed boy stared, frozen in place, at Sirius. The boy's striking black hair was wet and sticking up at odd angles from where he had shook it like a dog. His muscular chest and arms were literally vibrating from nervous excitement and his piercing grey eyes were intently focused on Remus, as if he was trying to read his answer off the werewolf's face.

The sandy-haired boy bit his lip. _He really wants me? What if he changes his mind? I'm a bloody werewolf. Things will only get worse once school is over._ Remus shook the unwanted thoughts from his head, and looked back up at the waiting boy.

"Sirius, I..." his voice broke on his words. The grey-eyed boy's face began to take on an agitated state as he watched the werewolf's reaction.

Remus quickly reached out a hand, placing it on the animagus's shoulder, trying to calm the other boy.

"Padfoot."

"It's okay, I understand. Really. Don't worry about-"

"-Sirius."

"No, you don't have to explain. I knew it was a long shot. I'm not mad, I don't blame you, it's my-"

"Sirius!" Remus yelled. The animagus paused and looked down at the werewolf, his grey eyes swimming with emotion and his eyebrows pushed down.

"Yes," Remus answered quietly.

"Wha-what?" Sirius asked, thinking he had misunderstood.

"I said yes, you stupid git. To your question. I want to...for us-" Remus was cut off as Sirius let out a whooping noise and scooped him up around the waist, twirling him in a circle in the water.

"That's bloody brilliant, Remus!" Sirius exclaimed as he laughed away his nervous energy. He stopped, a huge smile plastered on his face and let the werewolf slide down but didn't back away.

"Moony," the black-haired boy whispered tenderly, his eyes soft as he pushed a lock of Remus's hair gently behind his ear. He smiled a sideways grin as he ran a finger slowly down the hazel-eyed boy's cheekbone, pausing a moment on his lower lip before resting his hand on the side of the werewolf's neck.

Remus didn't notice the fireworks speeding up or the now errant paths they were taking as he stood still watching the grey-eyed boy in front of him.

Sirius slowly leaned forward, a small smile on his lips, as he inched closer to the werewolf. Remus closed his eyes, his heart pounding wildly but his mind clear.

"Watch out!" a terrified voice called out just before the two boys' lips could meet.

"What the hell Peter!" Sirius yelled furiously as he looked up at the waterfall, only to take in the disaster unfolding in front of them.

"Duck!" the animagus shouted, pushing Remus underwater and out of the path of the dangerous fireworks.

* * *

"I'm really sorry. I don't know why James would have left Peter alone with the fireworks. He must have lost his mind." Sirius apologized profusely to the werewolf as they flew back to the beach house.

"Don't apologize. It was great Sirius. Really. I had the best time." The werewolf smiled into the boy's shirt, pulling the animagus tighter against him.

"Oh, uh yeah. Me, me too Moony," Sirius stumbled over his words as he felt the sandy-haired boy behind him place a soft kiss between his shoulders. _You'll pay for this Pettigrew._

"Oy, it looks like there's a party at the house," Sirius called over his shoulder as they approached the Potter residence.

Remus sighed happily as he held on to the animagus as they landed.

"Let's go see what's on, shall we?" Sirius winked at the werewolf as he helped him step off the broom. Remus took the black-haired boy's hand as they made their way over to a group of people around a large bonfire in the sand.

"Padfoot! Moony! Over here! _Over here_!" James yelled at his two friends, waving them over wildly.

"My parents decided to come down at the last minute and so I had to hurry home. How'd everything go?" The bespectacled boy asked in a hurried tone.

Sirius gave a begrudging smile at his best mate. "It was great Prongs. Thanks for everything. Where's Peter, I'd like to _thank_ him too," he asked casually as he looked around for the missing marauder.

"Oh, you didn't know? Said he wasn't feeling well and was going home a few days early. He left kinda in a hurry actually. I hope he's okay," James said in a distracted tone, as he looked around searching for something before gulping his entire drink down rather quickly.

"Sirius, would you be a pal and refill my drink?" James asked innocently, reaching out his cup to the grey-eyed boy.

"Yeah, sure mate," Sirius responded airily before turning to the werewolf and asking, "How about you Moony?" The black-haired boy teased, knowing Remus hadn't drank alcohol since he tried it the first time with Lily and woke up the next morning with a horrendous hangover.

Remus was staring at James, who was making weird gestures with his hands at the werewolf every time Sirius looked away. _What in the world?_ "Yeah, sure Padfoot. Thanks," he said distractedly.

"Really?" the animagus's eyebrows furrowed as he double checked.

"Yeah, whatever James is having is great. Thanks," he said offhandedly as he continued to stare at James, who was now it appeared trying to convey a message via Morse code through his blinks.

"Okay, be right back then," Sirius hedged before turning and walking off hesitantly.

"What is wrong with y-" Remus didn't finish as he was jerked violently down by his collar.

"The eagle has landed," James whispered in his ear.

"Huh?"

"The black swan is nigh," the obviously crazy boy muttered.

"What!"

James checked to make sure that Sirius was still far away before giving up on his code.

"Augustus is here!" he yelled in an exasperated voice.

The sandy-haired boy jerked back up, his eyes darting over to Sirius, as he walked towards them. The animagus flashed a handsome smile as his eyes focused on Remus.

_Oh. No._

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**We are going away for a while to somewhere. So, we _probably_ won't be updating the next few days, but we will check our e-mails to read all of your wonderful reviews. Since you will obviously review since you are so nice. :-P'**


	21. The Kids Are Not All Right

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Remus's scars? Oh, that was me. Sometimes you just feel a little stabby. Y'know?" -Sirius Black, the next 007

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**Warnings**: Short chapter! Full of filler. Cottony, pillowy, cloudy filler. Ahhh, sooo soft!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. Not even Peter's severed finger.

**AUTHORS' NOTE: **This is a short chapter, but we are still not home and it was typed on a cell phone. So perhaps a little leniency is appropriate here? :-D Thank you so much for all the reviews! We LOVE them so much. Every time one of us sees a new review from one of you beautiful people we immediately grab the other and read it together! Hehe. Lame? Perhaps, but your responses mean so much to us and definitely excite our writing brain cells. :-P ENJOY!

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - The Kids Are Not All Right  
**

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**Flashback Continued**

"Here you go Prongs," Sirius said, reaching a cup blindly towards James, his eyes never leaving Remus. "And, _Moony_, here's _your_ drink," the grey-eyed boy said huskily as he continued to focus intensely on the werewolf.

Remus swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry. "Thanks Padf-foot," his voice cracked on the boy's nickname, his pulse quickening in his veins as he noticed how the other boy was looking at him.

Sirius smiled widely at the flustered boy's response. He slowly reached a hand up to Remus's face, tracing the pad of his thumb softly along the outline of the other boy's partially open mouth.

Remus's heart skipped a beat, and he felt a trail of heat on his lips obediently following the grey-eyed boy's soft touch.

Sirius let his hand drop reluctantly from the werewolf's mouth. "You had a little chocolate there," the animagus said in a low tone, stepping closer to the sandy-haired boy.

Remus nodded in acknowledgement, his voice not wanting to work. _How does he make everything sound so good?_

"Do you _need_ anything else?" he asked, a crooked smile climbing up one side of his face, his eyes twinkling down at the werewolf.

Remus merely nodded his head again, eyes wide as he stood dumbly. His mental faculties had clearly abandoned him for more pressing matters, such as ogling the terribly seductive boy, who was currently smiling at him.

The grey-eyed boy's tongue darted out to moisten his lips. "And what is that you _want_, Remus?" he asked softly, his eyes locked intently on the mute boy.

"Uh," the sandy-haired boy replied, staring at how the dancing light from the fire made Sirius's now wet lips glisten. _  
_

"Look, you went and broke Moony! Stop that Padfoot." James's voice snapped Remus out of his Sirius induced trance.

The hazel-eyed boy blinked and shook his head, trying to regain his composure."No, no. I'm good. I'm great. Really," he insisted, his cheeks flushed and legs weak.

The two wizards started to laugh as the werewolf appeared to continue his reassurances, but no noise was making it out, as he sat down on the bench beside James.

* * *

"Moony.. Moony.. Moony? Moony!" James finally yelled the last word into his oblivious friend's ear.

"Ahh! What?" Remus jerked his head around to the bespectacled boy on his right. The three marauders were sitting on a small, wooden bench near the bonfire. There were seven neighborhood families at the get-together. Some were sitting on the benches around the fire roasting marshmallows, others were standing in small circles chatting, and there was a group of about 10 teenagers dancing to a song and laughing on the outer edges of the party.

James and Remus had been sitting quietly for the past thirty minutes staring at the fire. Sirius, who was sitting to Remus's left, had his back to the rather serious looking duo, animatedly chatting with Mr. Potter, who had come over shortly after they showed up.

"Well, what's the plan?" the messy-haired boy asked in exasperation as he stared at the still spacey werewolf.

"Plan?"

James sighed before impatiently saying, "Yeah, you know, regarding _The Black Swan_." He gestured towards the subject of their intentionally esoteric conversation with a tilt of his head, but didn't look over in fear it might encourage the boy to come over.

Remus frowned, scrunching his eyebrows together in thought. "I'm confused, shouldn't _it_ be a white swan, or really, any color other than _black_?" he asked, his voice rising, as he avoided the question he couldn't answer.

"What's that?" Sirius asked, turning around upon hearing his surname. He looked at the two boys, an eyebrow raised curiously, as they stared at him both frozen and with matching, unreadable expressions.

James reacted first as he relaxed and stretched his arms lazily towards the dark sky, trying to look nonchalant, before responding, "Oh, nothing. Just discussing our favorite colors, and what not. You know, trying to bond a bit." His tone was casual but the delivery had been rushed. Remus rolled his eyes. _Smooth Prongs._

Sirius eyed James with a speculative look before he turned to Remus, smiling sweetly, "Ah, well I do have to say _Black_ does look really good on you." He winked at the boy beside him slyly and scooted closer until their legs were touching, before turning back to his conversation with James's dad.

"It's a metaphor! Now, the plan Moony?" James continued their interrupted conversation now in a whisper yell, not wanting to attract any more unwanted attention.

"Oh, that, uh, that makes sense then. Wait, I thought you were coming up with the plan," Remus mumbled, his voice unsteady, as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. His gaze was directed on the sand below him as he tried to hide the blush that was creeping up his neck and into his face, if the heat he felt was any indicator. The werewolf had actually just given up on planning anything and was instead focusing on the feelings that were currently shooting up from his left leg.

After Sirius had turned away, he had quickly used their new closeness to discreetly rub his leg against the side of Remus's. The grey-eyed boy appeared to be focusing solely on James's dad's story, as he methodically lifted and lowered his heel to the ground slowly, causing the friction that was now rendering the werewolf incoherent.

"Well, I would be more helpful if you hadn't given me the past few drinks Sirius got for you. Why do you keep sending him for more? I hope my dad doesn't notice, because if he does I'm going to tell him it's your fault," James said, still whispering, his eyes slightly unfocused.

Remus pulled his leg away from the distracting boy, trying to gather his wits. "I don't know! I'm sorry, okay? I just figured that we'd have an easier time planning if he wasn't sitting _right beside me_!" The boy hissed as he glared at his friend, finally looking up. James returned the look in frustration.

"I like to whisper too," Sirius quietly inserted into the heated conversation, having turned around again upon losing the werewolf's leg. He was leaning over so he was in their huddle, making both boys jump in surprise.

"Ah, yes. Actually I'm teaching Moony a new game. It's called...The Whisper Game. It's only two players though. Sorry Padfoot." James gave a quick closed-mouth smile to their friend before pushing him back out of their circle of conversation.

"Fine," Sirius retorted indignantly as he sat up, lifting his chin in the air, and turned back to James's dad. "Mr. Potter have I ever told you about the time when Lily hexed all of James's clothes to be transparent? None of the girls would make eye contact with him for weeks, and they made up this funny song. It went-"

James scowled fiercely at his best friend before leaning back over and letting out a defeated sigh. "Listen Moony, maybe you should just bite the bullet and walk over there yourself. I'm thinking Augustus can tell we are avoiding him and has been keeping his space. Just tell him the truth and get it over with."

"I know. I just feel like an arse. He's been so nice and this is how I treat him?" The boy ran an agitated hand through his hair and shot a glance at the black-haired boy to the left of him before continuing quietly, "I'm also _really_ concerned about how Sirius will react. I mean, he's done so well today. I don't want to push it. Maybe I should just talk to him tomorrow when Sirius isn't around. That way I-"

"Hi Remus." The werewolf's gaze jerked up and into the worried, blue eyes of Augustus Welling.

**Flashback End**

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	22. I Kissed A Boy

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"James, why do you think Sirius has never kissed us?" -Peter Pettigrew

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**Warnings**: Mm. Piece of chocolate. Mm. Piece of chocolate. Mm. Piece of chocolate. *looks up and sees two boys kissing*, *blinks, chews on chocolate and swallows* 'Eh, what are you going to do?' HEHEHEHEHE

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe.

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: So the flashback below falls chronologically right after the Birds in the Sea chapter flashback if you are confused. If any of you want us to list the flashbacks in order let us know. We can do that. :-D We'd also like to thank our new reviewers and our wonderful regulars! You guys are great!

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - I Kissed A Boy**

* * *

Professor Remus Lupin stopped mid-stride, his eyes fixated on the spot where the black dog had just been standing. Before it had ran away.

"No," the werewolf choked out, his words disappearing into the dark recesses along with the person he most needed. _He ran. He knew it was me, and he ran as fast as he could, in the other direction._

Remus dropped his chin in defeat but did not make any movements to leave the spot. He waited, desperately hoping for a noise signaling the animagus's return. _He'll come back. I know it,_ he told himself as he rubbed his arms, the night air having grown colder with the setting sun.

The professor glanced down at his watch. _It's been over an hour._ He sighed and gave one last look at the forest before he began back slowly towards the castle, stopping every few yards each time he heard the slightest noise.

* * *

Remus walked through the hallways of Hogwarts, his mind in utter chaos. _Why would he run? Did he think I would turn him in? Was he worried I would seek revenge on behalf of Peter? Does he hate me for giving up on him?_

He knew he probably should have done both of those things, but at the time the only thing he had wanted to do was see him.

For the past twelve years it had almost been like Sirius Black no longer existed to Remus, as if he had died along with James and Lily the night Voldemort had attacked. When the werewolf had heard that Sirius had killed Peter, he had been sure that he would never see him again. So he had mourned him like someone would a deceased loved one.

Today, when he had seen the animagus outside the DADA room it had felt like Sirius had come back from the dead, like a piece of Remus had been restored. The werewolf hadn't been able to think about what he should do. All he had wanted, more than anything, was to see Sirius in his human form, to talk to him, to touch him, to convince himself he was real.

"Right this way, Sir." A polite, female voice cut through Remus's thoughts. It had come from around the corner.

"Thank you very much for your assistance, Ms. Granger," a deep, familiar voice responded in kind.

Remus froze, his eyes widening. _It couldn't be._

"It's an honor, Sir. And may I say, I have read of all of the work you have accomplished in only two year's time and would love to get some pointers on time management," the girl gushed, the awe clear in her voice.

A soft chuckle followed the statement. Remus's stomach dropped.

_It is._

The disheveled professor turned quickly on his heel in an attempt to shamelessly run for it, just before the wizard and witch turned the corner.

"Oh, Professor Lupin! Good to see you. I'm glad you're feeling better, Sir," the third-year Gryffindor said to her professor's back, looking closely at him as he turned around slowly to face them.

"Ms. Granger," Remus smiled tightly, greeting Harry's rather perceptive friend before looking over at the wizard he was least prepared to see.

The tall man standing beside the Gryffindor had short wavy black hair and vibrant blue eyes. He wore a pair of navy slacks, and his light grey button-down shirt showed off his rather fit physique. The wizard stood, his hands casually resting in his pockets and an easy smile on his face.

"Augustus," the werewolf said simply, his mind mush. He didn't think he could handle anymore surprises without going into a coma.

"Remus! It's great to see you. I didn't know that you worked here. Ms. Granger is showing me to the room that I will be staying in for the next week. I'm here on business," the man explained as he walked over quickly, his hands outstretched, looking as if he wanted to hug him.

Remus smiled, thrusting out a hand to shake. "You too. It's been too long," he said, surprising himself when he found that he actually meant it. He had always enjoyed the American's company, but Sirius had made things very complicated between them.

_And Sirius is here. He's outside somewhere, right now._ Remus fought to keep the smile on his lips as it grew heavier at the thought.

The taller man smiled warmly in return, his blue eyes twinkling, and took the offered hand, shaking it vigorously.

"You two know each other?" Hermione asked in a surprised tone.

"Yes, we.. vacationed together after sixth-year. Well, not together, together. I was with my friends and Augustus was with his family. But we met and we, ah..." Remus stopped, not sure what to say.

"We met and had a wonderful summer together," Augustus grinned at the werewolf, finishing his sentence helpfully.

"Wonderful?" the professor asked, an eyebrow raised, questioning the man's adjective choice.

"Well, most of it was at least," he amended, reaching a hand up and touching his throat lightly.

Remus turned, his face turning a bright crimson, to the Gryffindor who was looking between the two men, her mind working furiously. "I can show Mr. Welling to his room. Where will he be staying?"

The witch frowned, clearly not happy being excused. "Well, _President_ Welling is to stay in the suite near the Defense Against the Dark Arts Room, by yours," she told him, her voice slowing as she watched his response.

_That suite shares a common room with mine._ Remus felt himself begin to panic before schooling his features. "Ah, yes.. Well, thank you Ms. Granger. I will show him there. See you tomorrow in class." He looked at the not-moving girl, who appeared to desperately want to say something. "Is there anything else?" he asked shortly.

"Yes, I'm sorry, Sir. It's just, tomorrow's Saturday." She gave an apologetic look, glancing knowingly once more between the two men before she turned and walked away quickly. Remus watched her thoughtfully, he would have to be extra careful around her if he wanted to keep his secret. She was very astute for only a third year.

"So Remus, it looks like we will be neighbors once again. Huh?" the American President of Witchcraft and Wizardry joked lightly.

* * *

**Dream Flashback Start**

"Yes, yes! YES!"

Remus continued to read his transfiguration book not glancing over at Sirius, who was cackling madly as he sat alone on his bed, in the fourth year boy's dormitory, empty-handed and facing a blank wall. The werewolf frowned at his book, this had been going on for the past half hour.

"It's so simple! Brilliant!"

Remus sighed, his concentration breaking again as the disturbing laughs returned full force. He chanced a look and saw that the grey-eyed boy was now laying on his bed and staring up at the equally blank ceiling. Remus furrowed his eyebrows and eyed him speculatively, as he sat on his own bed, wondering if he should be concerned.

"But should I implement plan A or plan B first? Tricky tricky." The animagus had shifted to laying on his stomach, with his head hanging over the edge, as he gazed intently into the dark space under his bed.

The sandy-haired boy had considered leaving after the first few minutes, but had decided against it, thinking that the grey-eyed boy would soon be off for Hogsmeade. He had personally chosen to skip the weekend trek because he was still avoiding Lily, but it appeared that Sirius had also opted out of the trip.

The werewolf bit his lip, an uneasy feeling in his stomach, and returned his gaze to the text in his hands. The black-haired boy had been acting strange, more so than usual, ever since he had found out about Lily Evans's rather forward show of gratification. Remus had tried to explain what had happened, but the Black heir had stubbornly refused to acknowledge or even look at the werewolf for the past week. He wouldn't even tell him exactly _why_ he was upset.

Remus snuck another peek up from his text, a concerned expression marring his face. The normally outgoing boy had become quite reclusive over the past five days and had taken to only talking to James or himself, apparently.

"Oh, oh. That's a good idea. Excellent," the boy muttered darkly, his voice muffled, into the pillow now covering his face.

Sirius had also started up an odd ritual. He would go down every evening at exactly 7 pm, to the common room. He would find a seat in the corner, by himself, and do nothing but smile murderously at Lily whenever she was around. It was a little creepy.

Remus groaned and reclined on his own bed, setting his book on his nightstand. He covered his face with his hands, blocking out the sunlight filtering through the windows. He missed his two friends and just wanted things to go back to normal, like they had been before _the kiss_. He still didn't understand why Lily had felt the need to snog him in the first place. He didn't care if anyone ever snogged him again. I_t's not even that enjoyable._

"Moony?"

"Ah! What?" Remus started at the unexpected voice. He opened his eyes and found himself looking directly into a pair of icy grey orbs. Sirius was leaning over him, his face only a few inches away from his own. Remus scooted away some and tried to casually place his hands behind his head, as he felt his stomach start to flop inexplicably.

"Did I interrupt you?" the black-haired boy asked nonchalantly, cocking his head to the side as he stood up, his gaze sliding down Remus's body and jerking to a stop at his stomach.

"No. Not really. I was just thinking. What's up?" the werewolf asked, surprised at being addressed finally.

Sirius slowly looked up at him, his words not coming quite as quickly. "I was wondering if you could help me with the, uh," he paused, glancing down at the book on Remus's nightstand. "The transfiguration homework we were assigned yesterday." He smiled lightly, but his eyes were heavy with some emotion the werewolf couldn't place.

"You've looked at it already?" Remus asked skeptically.

"Yeah, I wanted to get an early start on it," he said in a distracted tone as his eyes found their way back to the werewolf's stomach.

"Huh. All right. What was the question, then?" Remus looked up curiously at his friend who appeared to be engrossed by his shirt once again. The werewolf glanced down to see if there was something on his clothes only to realize his stomach was exposed.

"What question?"

"The question. You had for me," he said blushing as he pulled his shirt down quickly and sat up. He waited for Sirius to continue, but the boy just stared blankly at him. "About our homework.. The transfiguration homework, Sirius!"

"Oh, right. Right. Well, I just wanted to know if you could tell me where to find information on transfiguring animate objects into inanimate objects?" he asked.

"Really?"

"Yeah.." Sirius responded suspiciously, reaching up a hand to rub the back of his neck and looking to the right.

The werewolf squinted his eyes at the animagus. "Page 702," he supplied dryly.

"Great, thanks. Really, I always appreciate your homework help," the grey-eyed boy said.

"Don't.. mention it," Remus replied slowly, picking his book back up to read.

"No, I need to," Sirius said passionately as he sat down on his friend's bed, taking the book from him and placing it back on the stand.

"What?" Remus furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees. _He could have just used the index_.

"I see that now. In fact, I see _everything_ Remus," the boy said, his eyes staring across the room, his voice taking on a faraway quality.

"Sirius?" The werewolf reached out a worried hand, placing it on his friend's arm. He had seen his friend in a similar mood many times before and it was always followed by some extreme revelation or decision. He suddenly felt very nervous.

"Really, I have been so thick. I just couldn't see. I was blind. But, not anymore." The grey-eyed boy turned his gaze on Remus, a serious look set on his face.

The werewolf shifted in his seat. _Has he decided that we shouldn't be friends anymore? This must be because of Lily._

"Well, that's, uh, good..," he paused, the adjective tasting bitter on his tongue. He cleared his throat as he collected his thoughts. He began quickly, his words running together, "Sirius, listen, I don't know why Lily snogged me. Really. I mean, she's really pretty and nice and ridiculously smart, bu-" Remus found Sirius's hand covering his mouth.

"Moony. Please don't." The black-haired boy said forcefully, his voice full of emotion. Remus nodded, his eyes wide, and Sirius slowly removed his hand.

"Sorry," the werewolf muttered as he looked down at his lap forlornly. _He's already made his decision._

"Right. So. As I was saying. I, I appreciate you," the taller boy said fervently, his eyes intensely focused on the other boy as he scooted closer until they were almost touching.

"Thanks.." Remus felt his ears start to burn. _What?_

"You've helped me so much over the years with school work," he murmured, leaning even closer to the sandy-haired boy.

_What is he going on about? Is this his way of letting me down easily? 'Remus, you're a great tutor, but friend wise I really could do better?' _The werewolf bit his lip as he tried to both not beg Sirius not to dump him as a friend and ignore the funny feeling clawing at his lower stomach as Sirius continued to move closer.

"Let me thank you properly," he almost whispered. Sirius licked his lips and leaned down towards a confused Remus, cupping the werewolf's chin with his hand. The black-haired boy's eyes closed just before his mouth gently pressed against the surprised boy's lips. He held it there for a moment and then slowly backed away, studying the sandy-haired boy intently.

Remus gaped at the boy in complete shock, his heart pounding madly in his chest. "You, you just snogged me!"

Sirius's face turned instantly hard. "_So!_ If Lily Evans can thank-kiss you, then so can I!" he yelled out at the other boy, jumping to his feet defiantly.

"Come again?" Remus stammered, his cheeks flushed, as he tried to regain control of his mental faculties. He sat in a daze, reaching a hand up to his mouth and touching his lips with the tips of his fingers. _His lips are so soft. I wonder if he uses something to make them like that._ He shook his head, clearing his thoughts.

"You're _my_ best mate and you said that Evans was just being friendly, right? Well, we're _best_ friends. So, I gave you a best friend thank-you-kiss. That's what friends do, right? Friends kiss!"

Remus opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and then closed it once more. He settled on shaking his head as he continued to stare at his clearly agitated friend.

Sirius dropped his head and sighed. "I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you," the black-haired boy said in a dejected tone, clearly upset by the werewolf's response.

Remus looked at his friend, and his chest constricted uncomfortably at the pained look the animagus was wearing. He took in a deep breath and forced out, "Th-thank you, Sirius."

Sirius jerked his head up at the words. A slow smile began to creep up his lips.

"I mean, for _appreciating_ me, that is. I appreciate, er, you appreciating me. You know, so thanks.. for _appreciating_ me. Yeah," the boy quickly clarified as he rubbed the side of his neck and stared at the floor, trying not to hyperventilate. _Oh Merlin. I just thanked Sirius for snogging me!_

"But of course, my Moony," the grey-eyed boy smiled devilishly at the top of the other boy's sandy colored head of hair.

Remus continued to stare at the floorboards, only looking up when Sirius began to whistle an up-beat tune. The now happy boy had slipped on his shoes and and was walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" the hazel-eyed boy asked, his eyes glued on the taller boy as he reached up and opened the door to their dorm.

"To show Evans how much I appreciate her," he said darkly.

"Oh, well, that's very thoughtful of you," Remus said missing the tone, his mind somewhere else completely.

"Indeed," the boy laughed, happy about his effect on the usually suspicious Gryffindor, and winked at him before walking out of the dorm.

Remus felt his face flush as the door closed. "Bollocks!" The shocked boy leaned back once again on his bed, his hands laying on his chest and his feet dangling over the edge.

Remus had just discovered something very important. He did like snogging, _very_ much in fact. He touched his fingers to his lips again and closed his eyes, picturing his best friend's soft mouth once again pressed on his own. _I just don't like snogging witches._

The werewolf laughed in surprise. "I like kissing blokes. I _fancy blokes._ Bloody hell," he said to himself. He wasn't sure what to make of the revelation until another thought popped into his head.

_He kissed me._

Sirius Black _snogged_ Remus Lupin.

He tried the statement out in his mind, a huge goofy smile slowly spreading across his face as he stared up at the blank ceiling.

**Flashback End**

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SO guys we're thinking of writing a James/Lily-centric Marauder story set in the same world! To fill in blanks and flesh out the other couple we place in our story and I don't know, just add to the perspective and depth of the Marauder World we've created? Would you guys have an interest in that? Let us know! :D We think it sounds fun. Remus and Sirius would be a couple in that of course too but a more minor one. ^^ It's the same world after all. Just, from James and Lily's eyes.

Review? Please? :-D


	23. Moony (Pants)

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"James, when you saw Sirius earlier did you notice if he had a knife on him?" -Peter Pettigrew

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**Warnings**: Author 2 birthday alert at end!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe.

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: So the flashback below falls chronologically right during the Let The Games Commence and All Is Fair chapter flashbacks if you are confused. If any of you want us to list the flashbacks in order let us know. We can do that. :-D We'd also like to thank our new reviewers and our wonderful regulars! You guys are great!

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - Moony (Pants)**

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Remus pushed himself out of bed and stretched. He scratched his bare stomach and ignored his robe as he walked to the door of his common room. He pushed the door open and walked in to make his cup of morning cocoa.

"Morning."

Remus looked up to see Augustus standing at the kitchenette in _their _common room. He appeared to be making coffee and had two cups out on the counter.

"Hullo."

"Nice pajama pants, coffee?" the blue-eyed man grinned as he poured cream in one of the cups.

"Oh!" Remus backed out of the room quickly and shut the door back. He looked down at his pants. They were dark blue and had full moons all over them. Sirius had bought them for him and Remus had hated them originally. However, when he had actually felt how soft they were he began to wear them almost every night.

The werewolf looked in the mirror and cursed his reflection. He was wearing moon pajama pants and his upper body was covered in scars. _I am a complete and utter fool!_ He groaned and slid to the floor.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"Agh, that was the worst detention ever!" A fifth-year Lily Evans exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air, as she walked beside Remus. The two prefects were performing their patrols after their detention in the potions room.

"Yeah, you kind of get used to them after a while though. I gave up complaining about detentions by third year," The werewolf said half-heartedly, glancing out a dark window as they walked quickly through the hallways.

"I guess being friends with those inconsiderate criminals-in-the-making would leave you with a lot of detention time," she paused, looked over at her friend, who didn't seem to be listening, and frowned. He had seemed a little off for most of the year. She tried to pinpoint when exactly it had started.

She thought back and remembered him being in high spirits the first week of classes. They had sat together many nights in the common room laughing and catching up. However, after a few weeks in he had started to smile and laugh less. She could remember one night in particular when he had actually gotten very mad at her. They had been sitting on a couch in the common room and she was complaining about her friend, McKenna, dating Sirius and how gross it was to see them snog. Remus had gotten furious with her and told her to mind her own business before stomping off.

_Of course!_

Lily suddenly realized she could trace Remus's downtrodden mood starting to right about the time that Sirius had begun dating.

Much to Lily's disgust, most of her friends, as well as the rest of the female Hogwart's population, had fallen hard for Sirius Black. He had come back fifth year taller, more muscular and with a deep, silky voice that seemed to make anyone without a y-chromosome swoon. She glanced over at the other prefect, well maybe some of them too.

When the year had first started the attention-hungry marauder had seemed oddly reluctant to date any of the girls who approached him. However, as the weeks progressed he slowly began to be more receptive to the eager witches. In fact, he was now making his way through them at an alarming speed.

"Let's check on top of the Astronomy tower, shall we?" Remus suggested, as they made their way towards the stairs.

"Good idea," she responded, still deep in thought.

Lily had noticed that the sandy-haired boy had been alone a lot recently. She had hoped that introducing him to Annie would be good for him. Lily hated how the Black heir viciously scared away any girl who tried to talk to the werewolf. She knew there were a lot of witches who found Remus to be very attractive and would like to date him, she had been one of them just last year.

She had convinced herself recently that the grey-eyed boy merely harbored an unhealthy one-sided interest in Remus, after nothing came of Sirius's interest last year. However, now she questioned if it wasn't reciprocated by the quiet marauder beside her.

"It's so peaceful up here," the werewolf sighed as he sat down on a bench and looked up at the night sky.

Lily walked over and sat down beside him. "Yeah, sometimes I like to come out here and just sit. The castle can be a little hectic at times."

"Hey, stop shushing me!" a high-pitched voice complained.

"It's your friend, why would he care?" the voice whined, not trying to be discreet.

Lily felt Remus tense beside her. She looked at him, his face was unreadable. He slowly stood up and walked woodenly towards the dark corner where the voice was coming from.

Lily got up and followed him.

"Okay, you found us. No harm done. We'll just be going," said Matilda Helterbottom, a heavy fourth-year Gryffindor, as she stepped into the light. Peter Pettigrew stepped out nervously behind her.

"Peter?" Remus and Lily both asked in shock.

"Yeah, sorry. I know it's after curfew. It's just, we've had detention every night and Matilda and I just wanted to have a little _alone time_," he said in a worried tone.

Remus's body relaxed and he let out a barking laugh. "I understand Pete, really, but you still have to get back to the dorms. We can't just pretend like we didn't see you two."

"Of course. We'll go, thanks Remus! Lily," he grabbed hold of the girl beside him and scurried away and down the stairs.

"You didn't deduct points," Lily said softly as she looked at her friend.

"Oh, yeah, I didn't. I guess I forgot, I was just so..." the boy stopped suddenly.

"Relieved?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did you think it was Black?" She asked, cursing her bluntness when the werewolf's face dropped.

"Er..-"

"You can tell me anything Remus." She stepped cautiously towards the boy and placed a comforting hand on his arm. She smiled up at him encouragingly.

"No, I mean.. of course not.. I-I-I.. Oh Merlin, is it that obvious? Does _everyone_ know?" the boy's hazel eyes filled with terror before he covered them with his hands.

"No! No! Just me. At least, I don't know that anyone else knows. But, we're close friends Remus. It's my job to know these things." She tried to calm the panicking boy in front of her by wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. "Just tell me everything."

"You wouldn't believe it," the werewolf murmured under his breath.

"Try me."

* * *

"You're such a toerag, Black."

"Tsk tsk. Language, Evans!"

"You can take your language and shove it up your stupid ar-"

"Lily Evans!" A shocked Professor Slughorn stood beside the fighting Gryffindor's potions table.

Lily's cheeks tried to turn red as she looked up at the professor and smiled innocently. "I was just about to say arkipplewig, Sir," she lied smoothly.

"Oh, well I guess there's nothing wrong with that then. Carry on!" The Slytherin head beamed at his favorite student before turning and walking to his desk.

"Lily Evans, a liar! I knew you were no good." The black-haired boy reached for the spoon to stir their potion. "Ow! You witch!" he spat at the girl as he rubbed his reddening fingers.

Lily tapped her wand in her hand and growled, "It's not time to stir yet you imbecile."

"What is wrong with you! I haven't even done anything to you today...yet," he asked in an exasperated tone, sitting down in his chair and crossing his arms.

"What haven't you done!"

"I don't even know how to answer that, Evans."

"It's just. It's Remus!"

"What about Remus?" The boy looked up at her, his eyes suddenly intense as he stared at her.

The girl bit her lip, immediately regretting having said anything "He, well.. He's just been sad lately. I think he's lonely." She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with Sirius Black. "Haven't you noticed?"

"Yes, I have," he said in an uncharacteristically quiet voice as he looked down at his crossed arms.

"Oh, well," she paused, surprised by his answer. "Then why haven't you tried to help him?"

"I have. He doesn't want to be around me any more," he mumbled, shrugging his shoulders in a failed attempt to look indifferent. He looked up at the girl. "He started avoiding me a couple weeks into the school year. The only way we ever hang out is if I force myself on him." He forced out a laugh as he looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"You can stir now."

"No thanks. I just wanted to see it explode earlier."

* * *

"Moony! Moony!

"Remus! Remus Lupin!"

The werewolf grumbled something unintelligible before turning around. "Yes, Padfoot?" he asked the out-of-breath boy who had been running at a sprint to catch him.

"I, uh, just a minute." The grey-eyed boy leaned over, trying to catch his breath.

Remus pressed his lips together trying to control his anger as he waited for the other boy. He looked out at the Black lake and tried in vain to scrub the horrible memory from his mind.

_Remus walked into the boy's dorm, hoping to get a quick nap before dinner. He closed the door behind him and dropped his bag to the ground. He didn't notice the curtains to his bed closed until he pulled them back to reveal Sirius and some seventh year on _his bed_ making out. The werewolf had turned and ran for it._

_How could he! Why my bed? I hate him!_

The grey-eyed boy stood up and seemed taken aback by the werewolf's agitated state. He stared at him, not saying anything.

Remus let out a frustrated grunt. "Well, great conversation Black! But, I think I'll be going now. I have a whole list of other people waiting to waste my time by saying absolutely nothing!"

The werewolf made to leave, but Sirius grabbed his upper arm with a tight grip. "No, stop. Wait! I'm sorry, okay?" he yelled in a desperate voice.

"Yes, you are. Just, just tell me _why_ were you doing that on my bed!" he yelled, the other boy cringing at his tone.

"I don't know. You've not been around much lately. I guess I just missed you."

The werewolf's face grew even darker. "You missed me so you made out with someone on my _bed_ to make you feel.. What? Closer to me? That makes no sense at all!"

"I know! I don't know what to say! I shouldn't have done it. It won't happen again. I promise! It's just, you ground me, and when you're not around I lose myself a little and I do really stupid things. Please forgive me." The Black heir stood and nervously waited for Remus's response.

Remus let out a frustrated yell and then shook his head and sighed tiredly, "Fine. But next time you miss me just come find me. Don't desecrate my bed instead." He scowled at his friend, who had started smiling once he realized he was forgiven.

"So what are we going to do now?" Sirius asked, smiling happily at the werewolf.

"Shouldn't you get back to your girlfriend?" he said in a snide tone.

"Oh, no. She was an awful kisser." Sirius wrinkled up his nose at the memory. "I'm actually quite glad you interrupted us. You're a much better snog than her, Moony," he smiled cheekily at his friend.

"Oh, that's too bad. I was just going to read under the tree for a bit," Remus said grumpily, looking away to hide the unwanted flush on his cheeks.

"Sounds great. Can I stay with you?" the grey-eyed boy asked timidly, trying to make eye-contact with him.

"I guess, but I'm afraid it might be a little boring compared to what you were just doing," the werewolf said dryly before turning and walking over to their usual tree. He sat down and leaned against it.

Sirius sat down beside him and then reclined, laying his head in the other boy's lap and smiled serenely up at him.

"No, this is much better."

* * *

"I saw you two out by the tree earlier." Lily stood in front of Sirius as he sat on a couch in the common room. Her hands were on her hips and she had a determined look on her face.

"Guess I'll have to add stalker to the list now too. Geez, Evans, you're like a walking rap sheet." The black-haired boy laughed and leaned back in his seat casually, draping his arm across the back of the couch.

"He doesn't know how you feel," She stated simply.

Sirius's arm dropped and his eyes narrowed. "That's how it's going to stay."

Lily faltered. "But, why?"

"You really think I'm going to tell you?" he scoffed at the girl and looked away.

She sat down beside Sirius. "But, you have to. He would want to know!"

"You don't know anything, Evans!" he snarled at the girl. _He would hate me if I told him how I felt. He wouldn't want anything to do with me. I would lose him._

"You know what. You're absolutely right. I apologize." She held up her hands as a sign of surrender before she started to rifle through her book bag. "Hey, listen. I needed to give these chocolates back to Remus. He asked me to keep them for him, but my roommates keep trying to eat them. Would you give this to him for me?" She held out a small box of chocolates.

Sirius looked at the girl and then the chocolates. "Sure. I'll make sure he gets them," he said, taking the box.

She stood from the couch. "Thanks. Oh, and I _do_ want my clothes back that you and Potter took. You've only returned my music player so far."

"Sorry. James had one of his house elves knit them into a pillow and sleeps with it every night," he smiled tauntingly at the girl as he watched her face slowly turn a dark shade of pink.

"Potter!" she roared as she turned and made her way over to the optimistic-looking marauder in the corner.

Sirius smiled mischievously as he watched her stalk away, her wand out, before he looked back down at the chocolates. "How dare she try and support Moony's habit. It's a good thing I'm here to protect him." He took out a piece of the chocolate and held it up to his mouth. He took in a deep breath and smiled dreamily. _It smells like parchment, ink and trees. Odd. _He popped the piece in his mouth and began to chew.

**Flashback End**

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"Sorry about that," Remus said as he walked back into the common room. He had been sitting on the floor, almost ready to lose it, when he realized how much worse it would look if he never came back out. So, he had stood up, pulled on a t-shirt and changed into a pair of slacks and forced himself back into the common room.

"No problem. It's my fault really, I should have realized that you weren't used to sharing this room. It's just, I'm kind of addicted to coffee." He held up his cup as evidence and took a sip."I made you a cup as well."

Remus looked nervously at the mug on the counter.

"I didn't poison it." A soft chuckle followed the joke.

"No, of course not. Thank you Augustus. Really." He walked over and picked up the coffee and peered down at it. He took a small sip and shuddered.

"You don't like coffee," the taller man stated.

"No, I'm sorry. I just prefer hot cocoa I guess." He set the cup down and smiled hesitantly at the American. "Listen, about earlier. I had a few acciden-"

"-I know you're a werewolf, Remus," the other man said calmly as he sat down on the couch. He took another sip of his coffee.

Remus felt the blood drain from his face. "For how long?" _Did Snape tell him when he arrived yesterday?_

"Oh, I'd say it was the second day of our sixth-year summer," he said thoughtfully.

"How?" the werewolf croaked, at a complete loss for polite conversation.

"I heard your _friend_, Sirius, talking to a girl about you," he said simply.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, the girl was asking about your scars, and he made up some outrageous story to cover for you."

"Oh."

"Listen, Remus, I don't care. I never cared honestly. I just wanted you to know now so that you didn't feel like you needed to worry around me. But, maybe next time you have to share your common room, you should try to be a little less.. overt," he smiled slyly at the sandy-haired man.

Remus felt himself relax and gave an embarrassed smile. He walked over to a chair that was placed across from the couch and sat down. "So, do you mind if I ask you what the story was? I mean the explanation for my scars.."

"Not at all. He told the girl that sometimes he just felt a little stabby."

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**Please Review! Not for Author 1 but for Author 2, it's her birthday on Saturday!**

**Also, we have decided _arkipplewig_ is a wizarding backpack. Hehe :-P**


	24. Boulevard of Lonely Dreams

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Flattery will get you everywhere." -Sirius Black

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Happy happy birthday to our Author 2! Happy happy birthday you are so über coo! Coo, its like cool without the l, so it can rhyme with two. What? Like you've never done it before!

****SPECIAL AUTHORS' NOTE**** So, we are considering ending this very soon due to the drop-off in reviews. Let us know what you think. Yes or no? We kinda feel like people are losing interest and we don't want to run it into the ground. It's our baby.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - Boulevard of Lonely Dreams**

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"No!"

"It's true!"

"Oh my Merlin!" The statement was followed by a burst of laughter.

"I can't believe James never told me. I always wondered what happened to that stuffed bear!" Remus exclaimed as he leaned back on the couch he was sharing with Augustus. They were sitting in the common room sipping on a red wine the visiting wizard had opened an hour ago. The windows revealed a darkening sky as a soft breeze ruffled the Gryffindor-red curtains in the common area.

"Well, perhaps he found it too painful," he paused and shook his head, chuckling to himself. "Every time he saw Lexi, my little sister, after that he would always ask her how it was doing with a really sad look on his face. I was convinced he was going to sneak in one night and take it back." The man's blue eyes twinkled at the memory, an easy smile settling on his lips.

"It can be hard to let things go," Remus said softly, thinking of his friend.

Augustus turned and placed his hand cautiously over the werewolf's, looking him in the eyes. "Remus, I am so sorry about James. When I heard about his passing I wanted to contact you, but I didn't know how to get a hold of you. He was a great person and wizard."

"He was," he said solemnly, holding up his glass and studying the translucent, red liquid as he gently swirled it. He felt his chest tighten as he let himself remember his friend as he had been before the war had affected them all. James with a huge smile on his face as he planned the Marauder's next big prank, or as he spoke of his elaborate plans to win over Lily Evans. He had been a bright, unstoppable force straight up until the end. "He was truly irreplaceable," Remus said quietly, his voice struggling with the emotions that were attempting to overwhelm him. He blinked rapidly and took in a large calming breath before finishing off his glass.

"Remus..."

The werewolf looked over to his temporary suite mate. "Yes, Augustus?"

"I just want to say that I'm sorry about Sirius too." he looked down at his hands, fiddling with the stem of his glass and continued," I know he meant _a lot_ to you. It must have been really difficult. I can't even imagine what you went through."

Remus felt the air whoosh out of his lungs. He placed his empty glass on the coffee table and lifted the bottle of pinot noir, his hand shaking slightly as he poured himself more.

He took the filled glass and leaned back, not saying anything as he slowly sipped his drink, fighting to keep his mind from focusing on the animagus. _Not tonight_.

"Thank you," he finally said in what he hoped was a relatively calm voice.

"You can talk about him if you want. I don't mind. It wouldn't offend me, if you're worried about that," the man said gently. He stood up and walked over to the fireplace to give the sandy-haired man a little space when he didn't respond right away. He crouched down, tossed in a few pieces of wood and took out his wand, lighting the hearth with a murmured 'Incendio.' He watched the flames for a moment before standing and turning around to face his old friend once again.

"I don't know what I would say, really." The werewolf gazed mesmerically into the newly lit fireplace.

The taller man nodded in acceptance and slowly walked back and lowered himself back down beside Remus.

"Did you ever see him after.. everything happened?"

"Excuse me?" Remus asked, his voice tight as he tried to make out what the other man was asking exactly. _Does he know Sirius is here? If he saw him he would surely try to capture him, and then he'd be sent back to Azkaban. They would have him kissed immediately. Sirius would be gone for good_. He felt like a troll had him around the waist and was tightening its grip, crushing him, as he imagined never again seeing his once-best mate.

"I mean, did you ever go to Azkaban for closure or to talk to him," the black-haired man asked hesitantly, unsure as to the exact emotions the werewolf was feeling.

"No," Remus said stonily, his eyes hardening as he stared straight ahead. _I completely abandoned him. No wonder he ran away from me_.

Augustus set his glass down, noticing the other wizard's distress. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. Forgive me." His voice sincere as he reached out an arm and wrapped it around the other man's tense shoulders, pulling him closer. He gently wrapped his other arm around him and hugged the werewolf as they sat on the couch.

Remus felt his well-constructed guards lowering as he relaxed, leaning his left cheek on the other man's shoulder. He placed his own arms around Augustus's waist tentatively. The werewolf closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy the protective feeling that had been missing from his life for more than a decade.

When James and Lily had died, he had tried to process and cope with the loss with Sirius. However, James's closest friend had been so tormented and angry they had only ended up fighting.

When Peter had died and Sirius had been taken to Azkaban he had sat in his flat distraught and alone for weeks. Members from the Order of the Phoenix would bring him food and words of support, but they went unnoticed by the lost man. The extremely private werewolf hadn't felt like he could go to anyone for comfort. He had slowly spiraled into a deep depression that had lasted for almost a decade. He had effectively kept himself emotionally separate ever since he had lost his closest friends, his _family_.

Remus felt a comforting hand run through his short hair, down his neck, and then rub soothing circles on his back. The werewolf sighed as he reveled in both the physical and emotional contact he had deprived himself of for so long.

"I wish I could have been there for you," Augustus murmured softly in his ear, his warm breath tickling Remus's neck.

The hazel-eyed man felt his pulse slowly begin to pick up as his breathing began to come a little unevenly. He swallowed, his throat feeling dry. He hadn't experienced feelings like these for a very long time.

"I've thought about you over the years," the taller man said quietly, his voice wavering as he brought up a hand and lightly traced a faded scar, he remembered from when they were young, on Remus's cheek.

The sandy-haired wizard felt heat rush into his face at the contact. _I've missed this. _He leaned into the touch, finding himself very close to the other man's face.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"Hey Augustus!" James answered a little too loudly, elbowing his stunned friend, who hadn't responded to the greeting.

Augustus smiled tentatively at James, as he stood in front of the three friends, and then turned his questioning gaze back on Remus, who was clearly avoiding his stare.

James discreetly poked his friend in the side. "Ah! Yes, hullo Augustus. G-good to see you," he stuttered, his hand rubbing his opposite arm, as he nervously scanned the area, not focusing on any one place. He felt Sirius once again scoot closer to him, their entire sides completely touching.

The blue-eyed boy raised a questioning eyebrow as he took in Remus's odd behavior. "Well, it's good to see you, too," he said hesitantly, stopping suddenly as he noticed Sirius, who was openly glaring at him. He furrowed his brows at the unusual boy before continuing, "I know you had said before you were going to make an early night of it. So, I was happy to see you show up. "

Remus looked up at the American, gave a pathetic smile and responded, "Yeah. Here I am." The werewolf ended with a confused frown and stared at his shoes.

Augustus mirrored his expression.

"This is awkward," Sirius added to the conversation happily, a look of glee now on his face.

James leaned behind Remus and smacked his best friend on the back of his head.

"Oy, what was that for Prongs!" the Black heir yelled.

"Sorry Augustus, it's been a _weird_ night. Why don't you sit with us?" James offered amiably, ignoring Sirius's scowl.

"Yeah, uh, sure." He looked expectantly at Sirius, waiting for him to make room on the bench. The grey-eyed boy gave him a stony look, slowly shaking his head at the American boy.

"Here, have my seat," James offered apologetically, sliding over to make room for him.

Augustus sat down on the bench slowly, confused by the sudden change in dynamics in less than twelve hours. He was not sure why the sandy-haired boy was suddenly avoiding him, but mostly he was growing increasingly disturbed with the wizard named Sirius Black. The boisterous and very brash wizard had not even so much as looked in Remus's general direction for the past week. In fact, Augustus had been quite shocked when the quiet boy had claimed him as a best friend a couple days back, since the black-haired boy seemed to want nothing to do with him.

"Moony, you're wearing the watch I bought you! I hadn't even noticed. It fits perfectly." Augustus peered over to see the now attentive boy fiddling with a timepiece on Remus's left wrist, his fingers running over the watch as well as the other boy's surrounding skin. His blue eyes narrowed slightly at the almost intimate interaction, a suspicion forming in his mind.

"Wait, you bought that for Moony!" James exclaimed in surprise as he leaned over the American boy, ogling the gift.

"What's wrong with it?" the werewolf asked self-consciously as he began to study it more closely too.

"Bloody hell! Absolutely nothing! I've just never seen one in person is all," the bespectacled boy said excitedly, seemingly having forgotten the new addition as he continued to lean over him.

Augustus chanced another glance down at the watch, his eyes widening as he realized what it was. The hazel-eyed boy was wearing a _platinum_ Richard Mille Tourbillon. _He bought that for him?_

"What's so special about it?" Remus fiddled with the band as if he was considering removing it.

"Oh, I'd say there are about 300,000 special th-OW!" the too-informative boy cried out, falling off the bench backwards.

Sirius looked down innocently at his friend laying on his back in the sand, his feet resting on the bench. "You okay there Prongs? You really should be more careful," he said casually, his hand resting comfortably on the werewolf's shoulder, who was looking down at their mutual friend in bewilderment.

James glared up at his best mate. " Yeah, sometimes I just lose control of myself," he said pointedly in response.

_Interesting_. Augustus had only ever seen the Black heir pay attention to girls since they had arrived. However, he was beginning to realize his intentions towards Remus as he watched the taller boy take a quick whiff at the distracted boy's neck and then bite his lip, his face painted with a look of desire.

"Remus, could I talk to you? _Alone_," the American boy blurted out.

"No."

"Yes," Remus inserted quickly. "Sirius, please." The werewolf looked up at his close friend, his eyes trying to convey something.

"NO."

"Augustus, I'll be right back. I'm sorry. Just give me a minute." Remus stood up, Sirius followed suit without being told, and they walked away and towards the Potter's house.

"Really weird day," James offered lamely, biting his lip, as the American boy studied the two wizards walking away.

"So, what's your favorite color, Augustus?"

* * *

"Sirius?"

"No."

"Padfoot..."

"No. Way."

"Black."

"That will get you nowhere."

Remus huffed, opening the back door to the beach house and walked in. Sirius followed, shutting the door behind them.

The tan boy turned around slowly and spoke deliberately, "It doesn't matter _what_ you call me, I _don't _want you to go somewhere alone with _that_ guy." The animagus stood in front of the door, his arms crossed, as if he were guarding it.

Remus lifted a hand to his forehead and rubbed at it tiredly before running it up into his hair to grab a handful in frustration. "I have to do it, you know?"

"Why?"

Remus sighed as he took in the black-haired boy in front of him. He was looking at the werewolf like he was nine years old and Remus had just informed him that his puppy had to be put to down.

He walked over to the taller boy and placed a hand on his chest. He felt the grey-eyed boy's heart pounding furiously. "Would it make you feel any better if I told you that I don't want to do it?"

"A little." Sirius tried to hold back a smile.

"Well, I don't." He frowned as he thought of the unpleasant job ahead of him.

"Because?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I mean... _because_ you don't want to break things off, or _because _you feel terrible when you hurt other people?

"Do you even have to ask?" he joked uncomfortably, trying to lighten the mood.

Sirius grabbed the other boy's wrists, squeezing too tight for comfort, as he moved in close. "Don't mess with me, Remus. I _need_ to hear you say it." His voice was heavy with emotion and there was a desperate look in his eyes.

The werewolf leaned closer, until they were only an inch apart, his voice barely above a whisper. "I only want you Sirius. You have _nothing_ to worry about. I promise."

The grey-eyed boy nodded his head minutely, his eyes pinched shut as he tried to breath evenly. _Remus won't hurt me. He cares about me. I can trust him._ He opened his eyes, forcing a smile.

"All right, Remus."

**Flashback End**

* * *

"Remus, I need you to know that I still-"

The sandy-haired wizard cut off Augustus as he crushed his lips desperately against the other's soft mouth. Remus ran a needy hand around the surprised wizard's neck, while using his other to pull him even closer. The black-haired man made a surprised noise against Remus's lips before he began to respond.

The werewolf's senses were flooded as he tasted and smelled the familiar notes of cinnamon and hazelnut. He felt hands run through his hair, massaging his scalp, and hummed in appreciation as he relaxed even further into the intimate contact. Remus's hands slowly began to make their way around to the front of Augustus's torso, eliciting a moan, as he felt the chiseled muscles running down his stomach through his fine shirt.

"Remus," the blue-eyed man gasped as he pulled back slightly only to push forward again, capturing the other man's lips and deepening their kiss.

_Sirius_, his brain responded. The werewolf froze as he felt his blood suddenly grow cold. _No! _He pulled back quickly from Augustus, avoiding eye contact with the now bewildered wizard sitting beside him.

"What's wrong?" A concerned hand reached out, caressing Remus's shoulder. The hazel-eyed wizard jerked away from the touch. He rubbed his shoulder, trying to rid himself of the sensation that was shooting out from the point.

"I'm, I'm so sorry," Remus mumbled, his voice laced with guilt while his pulse pounded loudly in his ears.

"Did I do something wrong?" the taller man asked in a worried tone, as he tried to slow down his breathing.

"No, no it was me." Remus looked up as he reassured the bemused wizard. "I shouldn't have done that. I, I was too upset. I don't want to start something in that state. It wouldn't be fair to either of us," he said as he tried to calm down, his emotions were all over the place. He still wanted very badly to snog the handsome dark-haired man, but he wasn't sure if it was for the right reasons. _I almost called him Sirius._ He cringed at the thought.

Augustus took in a deep breath and relaxed slightly into the couch. He gave a genuine but strained smile. "It's okay, Remus. I understand."

* * *

**What happened to all our regular reviewers! Guys? Guys? :-/**


	25. Sail

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Quotes are stupid." -Sirius Black

* * *

**Warnings**: What? Warnings? Of our awesomeness?

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe.

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: Hi! Hi! Hi! Thank you for birthday wishes yaaayyy. Anyone watch Regular Show? I guess we'll find out. ;D. These flashbacks are during the Birds In The Sea flashback but from a different POV.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - Sail  
**

* * *

The giant, black dog ran through the woods, paws pounding furiously against the forest ground. His legs pushed forward, refusing to slow or stop, despite the internal conflict raging in his split mind. _Pack! Mate!_ his animagus side yelled at him in outrage. The part that was still human, and was momentarily in control, however only said one thing, _Run!_

The dog eventually slowed its pace, finding itself near a river, exhaustion pulling heavily at its limbs. The form blurred and stretched to reveal a very haggard looking Sirius Black.

"Bloody Merlin!" the escaped convict exclaimed in a raspy voice, crouching down by the running water. He used his shaky hands to scoop up some of the water to drink, before splashing the rest on his sweat-covered face. Sirius groaned as his body began to shake from physical and emotional exhaustion.

He fell back on the bank, and glared up at the night sky. "Shit, shit, shit!" he cursed at the stars.

He had been chasing the rat, Peter Pettigrew, when he had run in to Remus, _Moony._ No doubt the werewolf would surely think him guilty after running like he had.

_"Sirius, please. Don't do this. It's me, Remus!"_ The werewolf's panicky voice echoed through his mind painfully. Sirius rubbed at his chest trying to relieve some of the discomfort, he had had no other choice but to run. His mind couldn't settle until he dealt with _Pettigrew_.

The animagus had been worked up in such a haze of fury he hadn't even been lucid enough to recognize the werewolf. At least not until right before he had almost attacked him. He wasn't safe in this state. All he could think about was killing the slimy, double-crossing _rat_, who had been responsible for James's and Lily's murder and ruining his life. His life with Remus.

_It's been so long._ He tried to remember details of the now older Moony, but his mind rebelled. He had always had a hard time remembering details from his animagus form. The only clear thought in his mind was the werewolf's pleading words as he had turned to run away. _No, don't go! Please! Just talk to me!_

Sirius pushed himself up into a sitting position and let out a strangled cry. He fought his instincts to run back to Hogwarts and find the werewolf. _Pettigrew. Pettigrew. Find him first. Then Remus._

He looked down at his shaking hands and his eyes widened as he took in his state seemingly for the first time. There were tattoos littered all over the man's hands. He slowly pushed up a sleeve to reveal more running up his arms. He touched a hand to his tangled hair, running it down to his beard. A bitter laugh escaped his lips. _Sirius Black! No one would even recognize me. How can I ever face him again?_

The man slowly stood and made his way back to the water. He peeled of his prison garbs and had his first proper cleaning in 12 years. _Now if only I could scrub my insides,_ the man thought dejectedly as he redressed himself in his clothes. He lifted the wand that he'd "borrowed" from Ollivander's the other night when he was in Hogsmeade and pointed it at himself, giving his clothes a cleaning. He shook his head at his still pathetic state and sighed.

"I'll try Remus."

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"Hmmm."

"Uh."

"Grrrr."

"Maybe."

"Agck."

"It's just-"

"-I can't take it anymore! They _disgust_ me!" Sirius spat, throwing his hands up in the air, as he sat on a couch in the Gryffindor common room with James. The two fourth-years had been brooding and openly gawking at Lily and Remus, who had been sitting at a table for the past hour, as they studied together.

"Well, together. But not separately," James felt the need to clarify, sounding in pain as he wistfully watched the red-head smile sweetly at their friend.

"We should do something," Sirius said angrily, pushing himself up from the couch.

"Maybe I should stay here. Lily still has her anti-Potter charm on," James muttered as he stared sullenly at the wooden cross on Lily's necklace.

"I understand." Sirius nodded before he turned, strutting over to the studying duo, confident in his ability to scare away the red-headed Gryffindor. The grey-eyed boy stopped right behind Remus and flashed the witch across from him his unrivaled condescending look.

_This will be too easy._

"All right Evans?"

* * *

"Snogged! She said they bloody _snogged_! I mean, they KISSED!"

"Well m-"

"Doesn't he realize how upset James will be!"

"Oh, you didn't te-"

"-And she clearly had no respect for James's feelings either! It's just wrong!" He turned to Peter and glared at him. "Aren't you going to say anything!"

"Yes, I, um. I think that-"

"-And what about MY feelings! It's almost like they didn't even consider how _I_ would react to their snogging!" Sirius had turned his back on the pudgy boy again.

Peter frowned in thought. "Should they have?"

Sirius spun around and advanced quickly on the terrified boy, who had been sitting on his bed studying when the outraged Black heir had first burst in.

"What does that mean!" he demanded, his eyes boiling with fury.

Peter shrunk down in his seat, " Uh, it's just. Why would you.. care?" he stuttered, confused with the other boy's rage.

"_Why_? Why! WHY!" The black heir began to laugh hysterically, running both of his hands into his black hair and pulling at it, making it stand up wildly at odd angles.

Peter glanced at the disturbed boy and then wistfully at the door to the dorm. _I wonder if he'd notice if I made a run for it._ The timid boy had always been afraid of the tallest Marauder. He felt like the boy could at times read his mind and didn't like what he saw. The rat animagus shivered at the thought as he watched the other boy walking back and forth. _I should probably just stay here._

The grey-eyed boy stopped pacing abruptly, his eyes widened. "I know what I need to do. It's just a matter of leveling the playing field. I'll make her regret ever touching Remus." Sirius turned and smiled sadistically at the terrified boy.

"G-g-good idea Padf-foot," he squeaked out and nodded his head jerkily, completely at a loss, but not wanting to anger him again.

"I know."

* * *

"Prongs, I need to talk to you."

"Oh, sure Padfoot. I'm glad to see that you've given up your vow of silence," James replied dryly as he continued making his bed, not glancing over to his mate, who was standing in the middle of the dorm.

"Yeah, I guess I just didn't care for the whole 'not talking' aspect of it," he waved one of his hands dismissively.

James nodded in understanding, tucking his sheets in neatly.

The grey-eyed boy had only made it a few hours after first announcing his intentions to become a Buddhist, and that his first display of commitment would be a vow of silence for an undetermined period of time.

James had thought it was more so his way of acting out after his fight with Lily in the common room the day before. Sirius had stomped out of the room completely livid. He refused to tell James what she had said and was ignoring Remus with a vengeance.

"Anyway, I need to tell you something. It's _extremely_ important. A confession really," he said nervously to his friend's back.

"Shoot," James said nonchalantly, smoothing all the creases out of his red comforter. The bespectacled wizard had discovered early on that his and Sirius's idea of what was important were usually very different. His best friend had a tendency to be melodramatic in stressful situations.

The Black heir took in a deep breath. "IwanttodothingstoMoony," the Black heir confessed, his words mushed together.

The bespectacled wizard paused his pillow fluffing and turned his head. He looked up at Sirius, his eyebrows furrowed. "What _kind_ of things?"

"Nice things."

"Um.. Okay," the messy-haired boy supplied before he turned to fixing his bed again.

"_Really_ nice things," the grey eyed boy hedged, lifting a hand to his mouth and nibbling on his thumbnail as he waited for the other boy's response. _I'm sure he won't take it too badly._

"Great," he said offhandedly. James straightened his pillow and looked down at the completed bed appreciatively.

"Like, I don't mean I want to buy him things. _Other_ nice things."

James frowned and turned to face his best friend. "Sirius, you're going to need to be more specific."

"Right," Sirius sighed. The grey-eyed boy walked over and plopped down on James's freshly made bed. He laid down and wiggled his feet against the once-smooth comforter.

James stood quietly, frowning as the other boy took his pillow and hit it with his fist a few times to flatten it before placing it under his feet. He looked up at James and stared at him meaningfully.

"You do know that you haven't said anything out loud, right?" the hazel-eyed boy said in an irritated voice.

Sirius nodded, his eyes shut, and said softly, "I want to do bad things to him, Prongs."

"Wait, I thought you just said you wanted to do _nice_ things to him?" James asked his nonsensical friend impatiently.

Sirius opened his eyes. "Yes, nice things that are _bad_," he said clearly annoyed that his friend couldn't seem to understand.

"Uh, Padfoot.. I have no idea what you are getting at."

Sirius sat up and threw James's teddy bear on the floor in exasperation. "I don't know how to make it any clearer!"

James leaned over and picked up his bear, dusting it off, and held it. "Try."

"Okay.. I want to.. Ah.. When Moony, when Remus, when he, that is, when _he_ is around me I feel all weird. What I mean to say is, I break out in a cold sweat and when he gets close or touches me I feel like I've been electrocuted but it's good, like-"

"-_No_.." James's eyes were as big as saucers as he gripped his Beable Bear tightly to his chest.

"Yes."

"NO!"

"YES!"

James threw his bear at Sirius's head, hitting him square in the face. The grey-eyed boy yelped and fell off his friend's bed.

"You are not allowed! Do you hear me! Absolutely not! I _forbid_ it!" he grabbed the flattened pillow off his bed and proceeded to beat his best friend with it.

"I'm sorry! I can't help it!" The boy on the ground curled up in a ball to protect himself.

"Take it back! Take it back now, Sirius!"

"It's already in motion!"

"Well put it _out_ of motion!"

"I can't! I tried but I can't control my urges anymore!" the boy's yells were muffled as he protected his face from the vicious pillow attack.

"What in the world are you two doing?" Remus asked as he stood in the dorm's doorway watching James beat a curled up Sirius with his pillow, as the grey-eyed boy clutched tightly on to the other boy's stuffed bear.

James froze his attack, dropping his pillow on the floor and stared dumbly at the werewolf as he thought of an explanation. Sirius didn't look up as he whimpered into Beable Bear's chest.

"Oh, hey Remus. I was just persuading Sirius here out of a late night study session for tomorrow's Charms test."

Remus blinked. "_Sirius_ is having uncontrollable urges to _study_... and so you are beating him for it," the werewolf restated for clarification.

James nodded innocently. "Yes," he paused, his face darkening as he glared down at the boy. "He needs to learn to control these urges and in time they _will_ pass."

"For studying.." Remus deadpanned.

"Especially for _studying_."

"But I really want to _study_," came a muffled cry.

Remus turned and walked back out of the dorm.

**Flashback** **End**

* * *

The black dog padded quietly through the desolate castle hallways. He had seen the Weasley boy bring Pettigrew back in. The kneazle, Crookshanks, had chased him out of the castle for Sirius, but that bloody boy kept finding him and bringing him back in.

The shaggy canine jogged along, his head low, moving stealthily towards the Gryffindor tower. The animagus's nose quivered and he paused midstep. He slowly turned and made his way back to a door. He sniffed experimentally at the base of the door, his ears pricking up at the scent. He sniffed excitedly at the surrounding floor, stopping to cock his head to the side when he heard a familiar noise. He looked both ways before creeping closer and laying down by the door curiously.

"Remus," another familiar, but unwelcome, voice gasped from within the room. The dog jumped to its feet, a growl rumbling in its chest. The dog's shape quickly changed in to a towering Sirius Black. He stood in front of the door, his body shaking as he slowly reached out for the handle.

"Thank you Severus. I will make sure to let Remus know of your very justifiable concerns. I should bid you goodnight here though, I don't want you to have to walk any more out of your way tonight," an old, wise voice spoke from around the corner, causing the man to shift immediately back into his animal form.

"Of course, Headmaster," came a curt response, the voice provoking a snarl from the dog just out of sight.

The animagus waited nervously for his old headmaster to turn the corner and find him. He couldn't bring himself to run. Dumbledore had been a father figure to the reckless marauder. He stood, feeling ashamed of who he had become after the man had showed such faith in him. He braced himself as he waited to be discovered.

"Alas," came the jovial voice, still faceless, as the headmaster made no move to round the corner. "I seem to have forgotten that I left something of the utmost importance in my office. I will have to turn around and go straight back there this instant. I wouldn't want to put an old friend out," he said meaningfully to the empty space around him.

The dog listened as soft footsteps quickly made their way further and further away from where he was standing.

The dog took off, heading towards the closest exit. His mind raging madly.

* * *

**When we hit our 100th review we're going to celebrate by posting the first chapter of our James/Lily centric story. It will be set in the same world as this one simply focusing on James and having a very large amount of insight during her school years as well. It should fill in a lot of the intentional (and unintentional) gaps left regarding those characters. XD  
**

**Thanks for all of the support, reviews, favorites and follows we've been getting guys! We love you so much even if we don't get the time to respond to every review right away, we will get to them all eventually. :D**

**HUGS AND KISSES AND LEMONDROPS AND FHIZZING WHIZZBEES**


	26. It's Always The Same

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"If I had to use one word to describe myself it would be stud-muffin." -Sirius Black

* * *

**Warnings**: Please buckle your seat belts and place your seat in an upright-locked position.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe.

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: New story alert! Check our profile, it's the prologue and we are super psyched! These flashbacks are after The Kids Are Not All Right chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX -It's Always The Same  
**

* * *

Remus walked by himself on his way to Hogsmeade. He had woken up Sunday morning to a chocolate stash that was running dangerously low.

_Well maybe not that low, _he amended in his mind, but he had needed to get away from Augustus. He didn't know what to say after last night's _incident_. The werewolf needed to figure out a way to minimize the damage he had inflicted.

The professor kicked angrily at the pebbles littering the path.

"Stupid! Stupid!"

He didn't know how he had always managed to treat the blue-eyed wizard so atrociously.

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"So, all you do is whisper?" Augustus asked his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah, but-Oh, here comes Moony!" James stood up quickly, glancing at the werewolf before focusing intently on the grey-eyed boy, his body tensed.

"Hey guys. Sorry, I can talk now, Augustus." Remus greeted the two boys in a subdued tone, before also focusing on the taller boy beside him.

Augustus looked to the werewolf, trying not to shiver under the icy glare Sirius was shooting at him. "So, I thought maybe we could go back to my house, if that's okay?"

"Hell no!"

Several things happened at once in response to the exclamation. Remus's arm had shot out, grabbing the arm of the livid boy beside him. The blue-eyed boy looked down at his chest, James's arm had snapped out and taken a defensive stance in front of the American boy.

"Actually, maybe we could just walk down to the water?" the werewolf asked, his voice tense, as his knuckles on the hand gripping his friend had started to turn white.

Augustus blinked. "Sounds good," the American wizard responded. He looked at the sandy-haired wizard expectantly. Remus smiled, if not enthusiastically, before giving Sirius a level look as he slowly let go of the agitated boy's arm.

"Shall we?" the werewolf asked, trying to sound relaxed. Augustus frowned. He sounded like he felt guilty about something.

* * *

"How was your evening?"

"My evening?"

"Yeah, since I last saw you.."

"Right.. Uh, Good?"

"Are you sure about that?" Augustus chuckled softly, as he tried to ignore the giant knot that had formed in the pit of his stomach. He sighed, leaning over and picking up a a few seashells. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he suddenly felt a little angry. He studied the shells in his hand, there was a blue one, a sandy one and a grey one. He took the soft grey colored one and threw it into the dark ocean like he was skipping a rock.

"Augustus.." Remus's voice sounded strained. The taller boy looked over at him, his chest tightening at the pained look on the other boy's face.

The blue-eyed boy sighed, feeling bad for the werewolf. "It's Black, isn't it?" he asked, defeat rushed over him as the words escaped his mouth.

The werewolf's shoulders dropped and he reached a hand up to rub his forehead. "I'm...I didn't mean for any of this to happen, really. I had thought he and I were over.. for good. I swear, I would have never dreamed of starting this between us had I thought otherwise," the hazel-eyed boy said emphatically.

Augustus nodded sadly. "I know."

"I am _so_ terribly sorry. I never meant to lead you on, and I should have told you tonight as soon as I got here. I just didn't want to hurt you. I feel like such a terrible person."

The American wizard nodded in understanding, his eyes clouding over with concern. "Remus, I don't know how to say this delicately so I'm just going to say it... Are you sure about Sirius? I mean, you've known him much longer than I have, but from what I've seen he isn't the most stable or sensitive guy. I don't want you to get hurt."

The sandy-haired boy looked at him, an unsure look crossing his face before it disappeared. "I know how he looks to other people, but that's not who he really is. At least, he doesn't want to be.." he trailed off as he turned to look over at the fire, his eyes widening.

"Remus?" Augustus stepped closer to the smaller boy, who looked like he had just been punched in the stomach. He placed a concerned hand on the werewolf's shoulder before looking to see what was upsetting him so much.

Sirius Black was _snogging_ a curvy witch in a string bikini.

* * *

"I have to say, Padfoot. I am _really_ impressed with you tonight. You were really mature about letting Remus talk to Augustus alone. I mean you didn't even threaten him with bodily harm before they went off. I just knew Moony would be good for you," James said happily, his hand resting on the other boy's very tense shoulder.

The two young wizards sat by the dwindling fire alone. James's parents along with most everyone else had turned in for the night. The only people left besides the three marauders were a small group of girls and Augustus.

"What do you think they are talking about now?" Sirius asked, ignoring the other boy's rambling, as he stared at Remus and _Welling_ standing together at the shoreline.

"Well, I guess-"

"I mean, they seemed like they weren't talking for the first five minutes, but now it kind of seems like they're talking about something unpleasant." Sirius's shoulder spasmed as he watched the American boy place a hand on Remus's elbow briefly. _Just a friendly gesture, that's all._

"Maybe-"

"It's just, Remus looks rather upset; So he must be breaking things off, right?" Sirius stood up only to sit back down immediately, letting out an impatient groan. _How long does it take to tell someone that you don't fancy them?_ He had thought one to three minutes would suffice, he had never taken any longer.

James smiled sympathetically, seeing how much his friend was struggling and tried to reassure him. "Listen Sirius, you shouldn't worry about this. You can't know for sure unless you go over and join the conversation." James shook his head and laughed at the ridiculous idea, not noticing his friend's eyes light up. "Besides, Remus told you what he was going to do. You need to just relax and trust him now."

"You're absolutely right. I'll just walk over and say hello and listen for myself. Thanks Prongs." Sirius patted a confused James on the shoulder before he quickly pushed himself upright again.

"Sirius, no! That's not what you should have taken from-" James stopped and sighed as his friend had already begun walking away. "Bollocks," he cursed, standing up quickly.

The grey-eyed boy had taken only a few steps when someone grabbed his hand from behind. He tried to shake away the unwanted contact and continue walking, but the hand only squeezed harder. Sirius frowned and looked behind him to see the homely sandy-haired girl, from the other day, batting her beady eyes at him.

"Hey Sirius, I haven't seen you around for a few days." The girl reached up and tried to caress Sirius's face, but he backed away quickly, his hand still trapped.

"I'm busy, I can't talk." Sirius removed the girl's hand and moved to leave, but the persistent witch slipped in front of him and put her arms around his neck.

"But haven't you missed me?" she cooed as Sirius blocked out her voice and the weight now pressing against his chest. The black-haired boy looked over her head to check if Remus was still talking to Augustus.

_What's wrong with him? He looks really mad_. The animagus cocked his head to the side as he studied the boy who was currently glaring daggers back at the animagus. _It's almost like he's upset with me. What have I done? Oh.._ Sirius remembered the clingy girl and looked down at her, gave a terse smile and said, "You really need to g-." The girl's lips crushed against his.

Sirius's mind spasmed, _Oh shit!_ He pulled away from the girl's lips quickly, his stomach rolling. "What is wrong with you? You can't just go around kissing people!" he yelled at the shocked witch before using his sleeve to wipe at his mouth spastically. _Remus is going to kill me. I need to explain to him before he gets too upset. _He looked over to gauge the werewolf's response.

"Sirius, what was that about!" James's voice from behind went unregistered as the grey-eyed boy gaped at the horrifying scene unfolding in front of him.

_NO_.

Sirius had looked over just in time to see Augustus's and Remus's mouths meeting in a kiss. The grey-eyed boy watched, frozen in horror, as their lips touched and waited for the werewolf to stop the kiss.

_I can trust him. I can trust him_. He chanted silently in his head.

Instead of pulling back, the hazel-eyed boy's lips began to tentatively move in response to the American boy's mouth, his hand reaching up into the other boy's black hair.

The animagus felt his world crumble.

_Moony_.

Sirius took a jerky step back, feeling as if he been stabbed, his breathing unsteady and eyes wide in disbelief. Pain shot like bolts of lightening through his stomach and up into his chest, causing the boy to double over.

"Padfoot, can you hear me? Are you okay?" James's voice sounded far away. The black-haired boy squeezed his burning eyes shut and clenched his teeth as he tried to catch his breath, his brain a whirling mess.

"I, I..." Sirius stopped, his throat constricting, and took in a jagged breath, his hands on his knees. You are _such a fool! How could you think you could trust him or anyone? Nobody will ever care about someone as worthless as you!  
_

"No!" Sirius grounded out between clenched teeth, trying to stop the maddening storm that was building in his head.

The hurt boy felt pulled in two very different directions. Part of him wanted to run away and forget Remus Lupin ever existed. _I was fine before he ever came along. I could have ANYONE I wanted. How dare he do this to me_! The other part of him, the much larger part, wanted nothing more than to run over to the werewolf and throw himself at his feet and beg him to reconsider. _I was never truly happy before Remus. I don't want anyone else. I have only ever wanted Moony. What did I do wrong? Why doesn't he want me_? A whimper escaped his mouth, his eyes burning even more.

"Padfoot, let's go back to the house. I think you should take some calming draught and lie down." The grey-eyed boy felt gentle hands on his shoulders but couldn't seem to place the owner of the voice any longer, his mind continuing to reel further out of control. He felt like there was a wave of some emotion crashing against his mind, threatening to overtake it and it was growing.

Sirius desperately tried to hold back the feeling that was attacking him so viciously, but cracks started to form in his defense. _Why? Why would Remus do this to me?_

_He's going to leave me._ Sirius stumbled slightly as the barrier came crumbling down, and he recognized the emotion that was now crashing over him and flooding his mind.

_Rage_.

The icy feeling washed over him and enveloped his mind, allowing him a reprieve from the overwhelming pain. His mind had now become consumed with one thing. The need to hurt someone.

The grey-eyed boy stood up slowly, his mouth set in a tight line, nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed.

"Sirius? Are you all right?" James asked as he studied his best friend, unnerved by his dark expression.

Sirius smiled menacingly, his teeth showing, and his eyes almost black. "I'm great."

**Flashback To Be Cont.**

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Reviews and update waiting times are inversely related.

Siriusly..


	27. A Werewolf Like You Should Never

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"It's only marriage, it's not like it means anything." -Sirius Black

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**Warnings**: Please buckle your seat belts and place your seat in an upright-locked position.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe.

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: New story alert! Check our profile, two chapters now and we are already warming up to it! Enjoy!

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - A Werewolf Like You Should Never Look So Blue  
**

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**Flashback Continued**

"I just need to go talk to _Remus_ for a moment," Sirius said, his voice steady as his eyes focused solely on the boy _beside_ the werewolf.

James's eyes narrowed as he studied his best friend, Sirius's hands had started to shake ever so slightly. "I don't think that's a good idea," he replied evenly.

Sirius truly had the worst temper James had ever witnessed. He unnerved him. Most of the time the Black heir would simply yell or throw a short tantrum and then be fine a few minutes later. James could deal with that, but there were certain times when Sirius would get so mad his friend worried what he might actually do if given the chance.

James could always tell when he was getting too worked up, because the wizard would get really quiet and almost appear subdued. _Like the calm before a storm._ Sirius could hold in his anger, biding his time and acting relatively civil and snap with only a second's notice. When he finally did let loose it was like trying to stop a basilisk mid-strike. Dangerous and almost impossible.

"If I want to talk to _my_ boyfriend I think that I will," he said quietly.

"_Padfoot_, listen-"

"No. You listen _Prongs_. If you think that I should just give up Remus without a fight, then you're _no_ best mate of mine," Sirius said, his eyes so intense James felt like they were boring into his own.

"I'm not saying that! But, you need to calm down," James felt his anxiety growing as the other boy clearly stopped listening to him and instead took a step towards Remus and Augustus.

James grabbed his friend's arm in restraint, his voice sounding panicked despite his efforts to keep it calm. "_No_. No, Sirius. _Listen _to me. You don't know why Remus responded the way he did. And if you just go over there without thinking this through you might do something that _really_ would ruin things between you two."

The grey-eyed boy froze, his dark gaze turning on his best friend.

"Sod off."

* * *

All Remus could think of was how compassionate and gentle Augustus's blue eyes were in the moonlight before the taller boy leaned in for a kiss.

He felt the timid mouth pressing against his own, and knew he should pull away. _It_ _feels so good to be wanted though._ The thought pushed the sandy-haired boy to respond to the kiss. He turned his head slightly to the side and opened his mouth. The taller wizard responded, pulling him in closer. The werewolf's hands moved up into the other boy's hair.

Remus felt lost in the sensation like he was floating. _It would be so easy with Augustus._

The American boy pulled back slightly and smiled nervously down at him. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make you feel better."

Remus looked up and smiled at the handsome boy he had just met that summer. His dark hair was tousled but still managed to look tidy somehow, his red lips were even more vibrant from the kiss, his tone chest was heaving with anticipation and his blue eyes were full of _fear_. Remus felt his hands drop from the embrace. _I can't do this to him. I still care about Sirius. Sirius! Oh crap!_

"Augustus, listen. I-I-"

"-Wait. Before you say anything. Just reconsider it. Reconsider _us_. Don't make any quick decisions. Please," the dark haired boy requested, his eyes soft as they pleaded with Remus.

"Moony!"

The hazel-eyed boy's mouth dropped open, but he didn't turn to look at the source of the furious voice. He knew who it was.

"I don't know. Sirius and-"

"Remus! Lupin!"

The werewolf cringed. _Bollocks._

He stood planted in place. "Okay, Augustus. I'll _think_ about it. But, I should warn you-"

"-No, just think first," the taller boy insisted, he looked over Remus's shoulder and frowned. "Do you need me to go with you to talk to him?"

"I know you can hear me!"

"No, really. It'd be best if you didn't." He glanced cautiously over his shoulder, his eyes widening at the sight.

James and Sirius were wrestling in the sand. It appeared as if James was trying to hold the other boy back. Remus bit his lip. _I guess he saw us._

The werewolf sighed and turned back to a worried Augustus. "I really have to go break that up before James gets a black eye.. or worse. I should see you tomorrow though." Remus turned and took off, not waiting for a response.

* * *

"Let me go you stupid squib! Ah!"

"No! And I'm not a squib, Sirius, you arse! Oof."

"Might as well be, tackling me like a bloody muggle.. Ow!"

"Guys! Stop it!" Remus yelled as he leaned over to break up the fight.

Both boys looked up at him in surprise. James sighed in relief, letting go of his friend. Sirius jumped up immediately, his eyes narrowed as he took a few steps towards the sandy-haired boy, leaving only a foot between them.

"Ah, Moony! _Great_ to have you back. What were _you_ up to?" he sneered at the werewolf, who glared back at him in response. "Ah! Holy Merlin, James!" Sirius leaned over and rubbed his reddening shin.

James stood up, brushing sand off his clothes and gave his closest friend a cautionary look, before turning and giving his other friend a placating smile. "Remus, good to have you back, mate. How about we all go in my house and have a nice shot of calming draught?" the boy asked nonchalantly.

"No thanks."

"Yeah right."

"Padfoot, _remember_ what I said?" he hinted, trying to keep his friend from doing anything he would regret once he calmed down.

"Prongs, I think you should go. This is between us," Sirius said shortly, dismissing the boy.

"Okay... If you say so.." James said begrudgingly, not wanting to leave but not feeling comfortable imposing himself on a private conversation either.

Remus looked relieved at the prospect of being alone with the grey-eyed boy and began to speak quietly after James turned away. "Sirius, I'm sorry. I don't know how to-"

"-Actually you should stay!" the suddenly terrified boy shouted, his anger having melted away by the boy's first few words, grabbing his friend by the sleeve and almost making him fall over backwards.

"I think maybe this is something we should talk about alone.."

"No. Nope. Anything you need to say to me you can say in front of James!" He pushed his best friend slightly between himself and Remus.

James shot the werewolf an apologetic smile.

Remus crossed his arms and frowned at the boy hiding behind their mutual friend. "We really should do this privately."

"NO!" the boy roared before quickly calming down. "No. I mean. There's no time. I'm, ah, throwing a party at James's house tonight and we need to get back. Yes. _Now_."

"A party? I don't know Padfoot, my parents might not like that." James tried to turn around, but Sirius held his shoulders preventing the movement.

"Nonsense. It was your father's idea."

"Sirius, this is really important."

"No! I _said_ it can _wait_, Remus!"

"Sirius, I just th-"

"-Fine, just stay here then, but I'm going!" the grey-eyed boy shouted in a rushed tone, pushing James into the other boy before turning and running towards the beach house.

Remus grabbed his friend to keep him from falling over before looking up to see the back door slamming shut.

**Flashback End**

* * *

"Professor Lupin!"

Remus turned away from the bookshelf he had been perusing, holding a book in one hand.

"Good to see you Headmaster." He gave Dumbledore a genial smile as they stood in Tomes and Scrolls.

"Indeed. How splendid it is to unexpectantly run into a friend." He smiled knowingly at the werewolf.

Remus's brows furrowed at the statement. He had known the powerful wizard long enough to know that the man's words always had a double meaning. _Unexpectantly.. Friend.. Sirius._ The werewolf took a step back. _I have to warn him somehow!_

Dumbledore placed a comforting hand on the professor's shoulder. "Remus, there is no need to be alarmed. I believe we are all on the same side," he said calmly.

The sandy-haired wizard felt a rush of air escape his lungs in relief.

"I see that you and President Welling have been getting along quite swimmingly." The headmaster had a twinkle in his eye as he watched Remus's face turn an interesting shade of red at the change of subject.

The werewolf felt his mouth fall open. _There's no way. _"Yes, we were childhood friends. We met right before seventh year," he mustered as a response.

"Truly? How serendipitous you would meet again and at _this_ juncture. That is.. with Voldemort returning," he added the last part at Remus's surprised look.

_He knows too much for any one wizard. Wait. Maybe I could ask for his advice._

_"_Sir, if I could ask.."

"Of course."

"How does one know if they are, in fact, making the right decision?"

"Ah, a very good question indeed. You were always one of the brightest students I ever had the pleasure to govern over as Headmaster," the old wizard complimented, smiling brightly.

Remus only looked at him, waiting for his response anxiously.

"Good day, Professor Lupin." The head of Hogwarts turned to leave.

"Wait, sir, my question?"

"Ah, but Mr. Lupin. I gave you your answer. If you need to ask you already know." He smiled again, winked and turned, walking away as quietly as he had approached.

Remus watched Dumbledore turn the corner and listened to the bell on the front door jingle as he left.

"What does that mean?"

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	28. We Gotta Kill This Switch

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"I knew I should have killed you." -Sirius Black

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**Warnings**: Conflict a good story has. Hehe

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe.

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: New story alert! Check our profile, two chapters now and we are already warming up to it! Enjoy!

** Also, only about 1.2% of readers reviewed last chapter. 1.2%! Author 1 did the math, siriously! Come on! It only takes a moment and it makes us soooooooo happy! Try it, you might like it! **

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - We Gotta Kill This Switch  
**

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Remus walked hurriedly up the path to the castle, his mind running a mile a minute. It had taken him a few minutes to digest all the headmaster had said, but he could have ran after the man and kissed him once he did. _Sirius didn't do it! Dumbledore said we were on the same side. That means he couldn't have possibly killed Peter or all of those people! But what happened then, did a Death Eater frame him? How could I have ever doubted him!_

The werewolf kept moving, not paying attention to his surroundings. "Ah!" he shouted, almost tripping over a large orange cat, that had darted across his path. _Wait, that's Hermione Granger's cat! What's it doing out here?_ He caught a glance of it chasing something small and brown. _Ah, a rat._

"Remus!"

The professor looked up to see Augustus walking towards him from the castle. He waved at the man, and began to walk again, closing the distance between them. "Hello there, what are you doing out here?" he asked happily.

"Just thought I'd see some of the countryside before I have to leave," he said, smiling warmly at the werewolf.

"Oh, right. What day are you scheduled to leave?" Remus asked, trying to push away the feelings of disappointment. _Of course he's not staying. He's the president. He has to leave. Would you really want him to stay if he could? _He had enjoyed not feeling so alone the past few days.

"Well, actually, I wanted to discuss that with you," Augustus answered vaguely, looking around anxiously.

"Oh?" The werewolf suddenly didn't feel so relaxed. _I'm sure it's nothing important_, he reassured himself.

"Yes, I, well. I remember you saying that you only have a one-year contract here at Hogwarts, and I know how hard it can be for someone in your... position... to acquire work. And, it just so happens the wizarding school I attended in America has an opening, and it's in the same city where I live. So, I guess I'm asking if-" the man froze, his eyes widened in horror, as he stared at something over Remus's shoulder. "Dear.. God," he mustered out, before pulling out his wand and holding it out in defense.

"Hullo Wellington, it seems some things never change, eh?" spoke an icy, aristocratic voice from behind Remus. "Moony."

* * *

**Flashback Start**

Remus laid on his bed, his pillow securely wrapped around his head as he tried to block out the noises overhead.

_thump thump thumpthump thump thump thumpthump_

"Aghhhh!" Remus's yell was muffled. "A party? A party! What was he thinking?" _Nothing. Obviously._

The werewolf threw his pillow on to the floor and pushed himself into a sitting position. He frowned. Sirius reacted. That is what he did best. Sirius was insulted, he sought revenge. Sirius felt bored, he played a prank to entertain himself. Sirius was lonely, he grabbed a girl and snogged her. Sirius was hurt, he hurt someone else. Sirius didn't want to face something, _he ran away._

_How dare him_. Remus stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of his bed. They needed to talk, Remus _needed _to talk to Sirius. He needed to try to explain to Sirius why he had kissed Augustus back, even though he wasn't completely sure himself yet, and he _needed_ an explanation as to why Sirius had kissed that girl.

_That tart_, he thought heatedly kicking at the bedpost.

There _had_ to be a reasonable explanation, Sirius had been so attentive and had seemed so dedicated earlier on their date. Then there was also the fact that the grey-eyed boy had been furious when Remus had approached him. If he had meant to snog that witch, wouldn't he have been a little apologetic? Even if he was mad at Remus, Sirius had started it all. It didn't add up.

Remus froze mid-step, his eyebrows furrowed in concern as he chewed on the inside of his mouth. _If he does have a good reason, he's probably really upset with me._ The werewolf had been so hurt when he had seen Sirius he had lost his usual iron-clad self control and let Augustus comfort him, with a kiss, _right in front of the animagus_. And he had enjoyed it.

"Oh shit."

* * *

Remus sprinted up the stairs that led to the roof access at the Potter's beach house. He reached the landing, stopped and stared at the door. _You can do this. Just apologize, beg, grovel, plead-_. Remus shook his head, trying to collect himself. _No, no. He's messed up before too. Just apologize._

The sandy-haired boy took in a deep breath, squared his shoulders and pushed open the door.

**_I don't care! I love it!_**

Remus's eyebrows shot up as he took in the overwhelming scene. Large, red and yellow spotlights were spinning and scrawling designs in the night sky above the house. There was a stage set up with a group of girls yell-singing as a crowd of at least 50 teenagers danced and sang along. Remus saw James over by a refreshment table and made his way over.

"Moony! Hey. I didn't know if you were going to come."

"Yeah, I wasn't. But, I really need to talk to Sirius. Have you seen him?" Remus looked upset and worried as he scanned the party-goers for the dark-haired boy.

"Listen Remus. Sirius doesn't always deal well-"

"-Oh, there he is." Remus saw him dancing in the middle of the crowd. He quickly made his way over, ignoring James's yells behind him.

**_I crashed my car into a bridge. I watched it, I let it burn._**

**_I threw your shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs!_**

"Sirius!" Remus shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth as as he tried to get the dancing boy's attention.

**_You're on a different road, I'm in the Milky Way. _**

**_You want me down on earth, but I am up in space!_**

Remus tapped a finger on the other boy's shoulder. Sirius danced-spun around, an easy smile on his face.

"Moony!" he exclaimed in surprise, the smile on his face instantly replaced with a look of dread. He took a few hurried steps backwards and made to turn away, but came to a jarred stop instead. He looked down at Remus's hand that was gripping his arm.

"Talk! Now!" The werewolf gave him a level look.

Sirius sighed and nodded his head dejectedly. "Over here!" he yelled over the commotion and led Remus, weaving through the tightly-packed, dancing crowd to a door beside the entrance. He opened it and motioned the werewolf in.

Remus walked through and ran straight into some shelves. He turned around as the door closed, the only light coming from below the door.

"Is this a closet?"

"Yep."

Remus felt two hands settle on his hips. He took in a sharp breath. _Focus Remus_.

"You wanted to _talk?_" Sirius whispered, his breath warm on Remus's neck.

The werewolf let out a shuddered breath as he felt soft lips at the base of his neck. "Ah, y-yes. Uh, Sirius. Sirius. I, ah, are you trying to distract me?"

"MmmHmm.." the black haired boy hummed against Remus's skin, as he began making his way slowly upwards.

"Uh.. I, oh... Hey, stop that!" He quickly pulled back from Sirius who had begun nibbling gently on his left ear, his hands slipping just under his shirt and tugging at his pants line. _We haven't even kissed properly yet. _His mind added guiltily_, I did that with Augustus first._

"Why? Don't you like it?" a silky voice asked, making Remus swoon.

"No. I mean. Yes! I mean, I'm trying to say something. Please, just let me talk," he said in frustration. His brain always seemed to misfire around the gorgeous wizard.

Remus heard a sigh and felt the other boy move away. "Okay, Moony. Go ahead."

"Thanks.. I, I'msosorrySirius!" he blurted out.

"What?"

"I said I am sorry," he repeated, enunciating each word.

There was a pause before Sirius responded. "Why?" His voice sounded suspicious.

"Because. Well.. Why did you kiss that witch earlier?" Remus asked, needing to make sure he was correct in his assumptions before he continued. _  
_

"I didn't! She snogged _me_! I swear, I was just coming over to listen in on your conversation, and she attacked me! I was _violated_!"

Remus frowned. "Listen in on my conversation?" he paused, his guilt quickly replaced with anger. "How dare you! I thought you said you trusted me!"

Sirius stepped closer, the werewolf could feel the heat rolling off of him as he began to speak, his voice suddenly hard. "Yeah, well, you said you _only_ wanted me."

Remus's mouth dropped open. _Oh, right._ "That was, that was an accident," he hedged.

"You _accidentally_ stuck your tongue in his mouth and grabbed his hair with your hands!" the grey-eyed boy practically shouted.

Remus winced and took a quick step back, bumping into the shelves behind him. "Kinda."

"What the fuck, Remus! We haven't even done that yet!" he shouted angrily, but there was a desperate edge to it. He leaned forward, his breath brushing the werewolf's face.

"I'm sorry," he cried out, his chest tightening.

"You're attracted to him?" Sirius asked, but it ended up sounding like an accusation.

Remus cursed his hormones. He would be lying if he said no. The American wizard was the most attractive boy he had ever met, excepting Sirius. "Yes," he muttered begrudgingly, grimacing as he waited for the other boy's explosion.

Silence hung heavily in the room. Remus heard heavy breathing. The werewolf wanted to reach out and touch the other boy, but something held him back.

"Do you like him?"

Remus didn't respond right away, blinking rapidly at the burning in his eyes. _Why is he asking me this?_ "I don't know," he paused, but then it hit him. Augustus was handsome, he was fun to talk to and Remus liked spending time with him. "Yeah.. I-I guess I do," he stuttered, shocked at his own words._  
_

Suddenly there was no space between the two boys. Remus could feel the other boy's pounding heart against his own chest. He was wedged between the shelves and Sirius, with nowhere to go.

"More than me?" Sirius whispered, his voice shaky.

Remus felt like someone had stabbed him in the chest. He didn't respond. _No! Say no! Of course you don't! _His chest constricted, making it painful to breath, and each inhalation seemed more and more impossible. He suddenly felt warm, wet trails running down his face.

"I'm _so_ sorry Padfoot," he forced out, apologizing for both the tears and his betrayal. _What is wrong with me? How could I like Augustus when I am with Sirius?_ He felt fear creeping in and settling in his chest.

"No, please, Remus. I can change. I can be better. I promise. I'll do whatever you want. I swear!" Sirius pleaded, fearing the worst. "Merlin, Moony. I think I might lo-"

"-No! Don't say that! Please! Not now!" Remus clenched his teeth. He couldn't handle anymore. He felt like he was unraveling, everything felt wrong. He tried to calm his breathing but instead let out a low sob. "I just don't want to lose you. I _need_ you."

"Remus?" The werewolf felt a soft hand cup his face. "Are you crying?" Sirius asked in a panicked tone, his voice rising when he felt dampened cheeks. He felt another snob escape the rattled boy.

Sirius gathered himself for Remus and slowly took the pads of his thumbs and gently wiped away the offending tears, speaking softly, "Listen. It's okay. All right?" He felt the boy begin to shake. "Remus, listen to me! You _can't_ lose me. I'll always be here. You're my best mate. _Nothing_ could ever change that."

Remus felt two arms wrap around him and he buried his face against the other boy's chest. "I'm sorry Sirius. I'm just so confused," he said in apology, his voice strained.

"I know. I know."

**Flashback To Be Cont.**

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	29. Just A Stint

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Elementary, my dear Moony." -Sirius Black

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**Warnings**: Boy/girl interactions. Ahhhh! It burns! It burns!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe or _I Kissed a Girl _by Katy Perry.

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: New story alert! Check our profile, two chapters now and we are already warming up to it! Enjoy! This is where we usually complain about reviewing, blah blah blah. But, today we just really wanted to **THANK** all you wonderful reviewers! We were absolutely floored by the feedback we got on our last chapter! You guys are the **best** readers ever! Quality over quantity! :-D We love you and have the best time reading your responses. Thanks so much! In fact, it is the reason for the quick update.

**OH, and please do listen to Katy Perry's _I Kissed a Girl_ during the dance scene. It's awesome with it! **

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - Just A Stint  
**

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The black dog sat, waiting quietly behind a line of shrubs outside of Hogwarts. Crookshanks was supposed to chase the rat animagus past the large boulder he was watching, and then he would cut off the rat and finish what he had been wrongly imprisoned for so long ago.

He waited, tense and ready to pounce.

"Just ask him. Bring up the job first. Then just ask. He needs to come now, he'll only get cold feet if not."

The dog's head jerked up and away from the boulder he had been intently watching. He stood up, his hackles raising as he padded closer to the familiar man who was talking to himself. _It was him._

Sirius had struggled to convince himself that he had imagined the incident in the castle the other night. He had been so close to going back and losing his cover.

"'Remus, I love you. I've always loved you really.' No. No. Not good! That will scare him off for certain. Think. Think. 'I was wondering if we could live together, just as roommates, of course.' Yes, much better."

The giant dog's grey eyes darkened to pure black, its lips curling back, exposing large fangs as he began to stalk the wizard, leaving the waiting spot.

"Remus!"

"Hello there, what are you doing out here?" The animagus started at the voice. He lowered his profile and practically belly-crawled behind the rocks and shrubs along the path so that he could get behind the werewolf and downwind of him, to avoid detection.

"What day are you scheduled to leave?" the dog shifted and transformed into a human at the sound of disappointment in the werewolf's voice.

Sirius stood, crouched behind a large rock. He had transfigured his clothes the night before when he had been trying to distract himself from going back to the castle. He was wearing a pair of black pants and a black button shirt. He had also done a shaving and hair cutting charm. He was still covered in tattoos, but he had put on a little weight since Crookshanks had begun bringing him food. The stupid half-kneazle didn't think he was taking care of himself evidently.

"-it's in the same city where-" Sirius took a deep breath, pulled out his _borrowed_ wand and spun out from behind the rock.

The American noticed him almost instantly. Sirius smiled viciously as a look of fear crossed the other man's face.

""Hullo Wellington, it seems some things never change, eh?" he said, hatred soaking his words.

"Moony." Sirius added as he fought to keep his voice calm. He felt a thrill rush through him at speaking to the werewolf once again.

Remus turned around painfully slow. Sirius took a slight step back as their eyes met, a bolt of electricity felt like it shot up and through his body. He fought to keep his wand up and pointing anywhere in the werewolf's general direction.

"Padfoot."

"So, I go away for a stint, and you take up with this tosser?" he joked tersely, his eyes now trained again on the untrustworthy dark-haired wizard.

Remus took a cautious step towards him. Sirius gritted his teeth as he battled against the deeply ingrained urge to run or attack. _It's Moony,_ he reminded himself.

"Remus, no!" Augustus yelled out.

"Shut up! Don't you _dare_ say his name!" He felt his veins once again turn to ice as he slightly shifted his wand to point at the man's chest._ He said his name the other night too._

"Sirius.." The werewolf tried to calm him.

_He's trying to trick you. Look who he's with! Don't you remember what happened before?_ Sirius winced as he fought to keep the voices in his head quiet. He watched him take another step closer.

"Just. Just, stay right there, Remus." he warned, his gaze once again glued on the American wizard, but his wand had lowered slightly in response to the werewolf's approach.

Remus stopped, he studied the grey-eyed man's posture before saying quietly, "Augustus, leave. Go to the castle."

"You want me to leave you here alone? He killed James! He killed _all_ of your friends! What if he wants to off you now! You don't know him anymore!"

Sirius's wand raised again, his pupils widening as adrenaline crackled through his entire body. "Killed them! Killed them! I would NEVER have killed James! He was like a _brother _to me! I would rather have DIED than ever hurt him! How dare you say that!" He started to twist his wand, his mind silently beginning to cast a spell.

Remus jumped in the path between Sirius's wand and Augustus, throwing his hands up in defense."No! Sirius, please!" He caused the escaped convict to freeze. "I know what I'm doing Augustus. Just go, but don't tell anyone until I get back." He held his breath as he waited for an answer.

Augustus stood, his chest heaving as he thought. "I'll give you fifteen minutes, but I'm coming back if you're not inside by then."

Remus nodded silently as he kept eye-contact with Sirius. "Thank you," he said finally.

He listened as Augustus walked away, and knew he had gone in when Sirius's hand finally lowered by his side.

"Sirius," he choked on the name. He felt relieved and upset at the same time as he finally took in the form of one Sirius Orion Black.

* * *

**Flashback Continued**

Remus lifted his face, and breathed in the scent of the other boy deeply. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly to clear his mind.

"I just need some time to figure things out. Maybe we should cool off for a bit."

Nothing.

"Sirius?"

Remus heard the taller boy clear his throat.

"Oh. Yeah. I understand. Sure Moony. If that's.. what you want," the taller boy said, his voice rough as he took a step back.

Remus bit his lip as he struggled with the decision. _Sirius deserves better than what I can give him right now. It's for the best._

"It is," he heard himself say, his heart dropping into his stomach. Sirius's hands fell away from him. Remus suddenly felt naked without the touch.

"All right. I should go back out. It won't do to have the host missing for too long," he said ruefully.

"Right. Okay then. I guess I'll see you around." Remus felt as hollow as the words he had just spoken.

The door opened suddenly, lights and music once again assaulting the senses of the werewolf.

Sirius stopped, his hand still on the door. He looked like he was fighting with himself, "One thing. I should probably tell you.. Ah, don't let anyone else try to take off your watch I got you. They might be worse for wear."

Remus looked down at the timepiece and then back up at the other boy, "Sirius!" he admonished, before his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Wait...what do you mean _try_?

"Oh it won't come off." He smiled mischeviously. "And it has rather aggressive protection charms to keep other people from taking it." His smile shifted into a sad one as he turned and walked away from the werewolf.

_**This was never the way I planned. **_

_**Not my intention.**_

The music pulsed in the air as Remus watched the devastatingly handsome wizard walk towards the crowd, female heads snapping in his direction. Someone handed him two tall shot glasses. He took them and downed them one right after the other.

_**I'm curious for you.**_

_**Caught my attention. **_

Sirius was on his sixth shot when a shockingly leggy blonde, with bright red lips, and a tight, short black dress made her way over to the now dancing wizard. She ignored the trail of admirers behind her as she smiled flirtatiously at Sirius and he shot an unsure glance over to Remus. The werewolf smiled and nodded, hiding the screaming in his head. Sirius turned away and beckoned her closer with one finger.

_**The taste of her cherry chapstick. **_

_**I kissed a girl just to try it**_.

_**I hope my boyfriend don't mind it. **_

Remus watched as the perfectly matched couple danced uncomfortably close to the hypnotising music.

_**Soft skin, red lips, so kissable.**_

_**Hard to resist, so touchable.**_

_**Too good to deny it.**_

The tall girl turned around and Sirius moved up behind her. He placed his hands on her curvy hips, his eyes closing as his mouth floated, slightly open, just above the skin of her smooth neck.

_**It felt so wrong, it felt so right.**_

_What have I done?_

_** I kissed a girl and I liked it.**_

_** I liked it.**_

**Flashback End  
**

* * *

**Short Chapter! So sorry!**

**Please Review! :-D**_**  
**_


	30. Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"Do as I do, not as I say." -Sirius Black

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**Warnings**: Letters that form words that form sentences that form complete thoughts that contribute to a story line ahead!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any part of Harry Potter or the new story about magical beasts coming out by JKR. If we were, it would instead be a PREQUEL coming out as well as a couple of our favorite marauders! ;-)

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: Beep boop bop. _Beep boop bop._ Beep boop bop! haha. No, okay so siriusly. We have already written the next chapter...so, if you want to get an update quickly..review! If we get 6 reviews, we will update as soon as it hits 6. If not, we will update in a week. Wahahahaha!

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY - Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater  
**

* * *

Remus looked at his childhood friend, his eyes running over the man in front of him. He was much thinner than he had ever seen him, and he had tattoos littering the exposed skin of his hands and neck. Remus fought to keep himself planted in place, he was afraid any sudden movement would cause the animagus to shift back and run off.

"Padfoot," he murmured, speaking again as he searched the set of wild grey eyes for an explanation to everything that had happened.

"You look awful," Sirius joked, pushing a black sleeve up anxiously to reveal more tattoos. He glanced around nervously, his eyes constantly shifting between the werewolf and their surroundings, as if he was waiting for an attack.

Remus forced a small smile as he felt his eyes start to sting.

_I have to help him._

The werewolf put his hands up, displaying they were empty, and slowly took another step towards his skittish mate.

Sirius eyed him with trepidation, but didn't move. _It's Remus. It's Remus._ He chanted in his shell-shocked mind, trying to reassure himself. His grasp on sanity was precarious at the best of times since his stay in Azkaban.

"We need to talk," Remus said gently, his chest tightening with each step. He stopped just a foot away from the other man.

Remus froze as he watched Sirius lift a hand and cautiously reach towards him. He felt his chest tighten in anticipation but the hand froze halfway to its destination. Sirius's face suddenly morphed into a look of complete hatred before his form blurred and shifted into a giant black dog.

The shaggy canine bared its teeth and lowered its head in a predatory fashion.

Remus took a few quick steps back without thinking. "Sirius, no!"

* * *

**Flashback Start**

"Thanks for coming today, Remus. I should warn you though, I think Lexi might have a crush on you," Augustus laughed as he sat on his bed in his room.

Remus had spent the day with the other boy's family. Augustus had invited him to a picnic and they had just went off on their own.

Remus's eyebrows shot up. "What? Why would you think that?"

"She said and I quote, 'Augustus, I think Remus is cute and if you don't go for it, I will'," Augustus paused, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Such words from my 11-year old baby sister."

Remus laughed and leaned his head back on Augustus's couch, that sat a few feet away from the American wizard's bed. "Well, that's probably a safe assumption then," he conceded as he stared at the ceiling.

"She's right though."

Remus tensed. _No, please don't ask me what I've decided._ "She was?"

"Yes, you are very _cute_," he said in a patronizing voice.

The two boys started laughing again. Remus picked up a decorative pillow off the couch and tossed it lazily at the blue-eyed boy, hitting him in the chest.

Remus leaned his head back again, his eyes shutting. He felt extra tired due to the approaching full moon. The werewolf wondered if Sirius would show up for the transformation. He hadn't given any indication that he wouldn't, but that was what unnerved Remus.

Sirius had walked out of the closet and after he started dancing with the girl it had almost felt like they had never happened. Sirius had begun treating him almost like he did James and he was interacting with girls again. Remus frowned, his eyes still closed. _I asked for space. He's giving me space. Why am I upset? Why isn't he upset? I don't want him to be, but has he already moved on? Sirius is by nature a fickle person. Maybe he is already over me._

"Falling asleep?"

Remus opened his eyes and looked over at Augustus with a startled expression like he had forgotten he was there.

"Yes, I didn't sleep too well last night," Remus said in a distracted voice. He looked down to his shirt and began pulling at a loose thread. _It's probably for the best. Now we can stay friends_. Remus took the hanging string and ripped it off in disgust.

"Are you feeling okay?" Augustus asked gently, reclining onto his side, his head propped up by an elbow as he stretched out.

Remus nodded. He swallowed hard as his gaze shifted quickly to an area of tan skin that had been revealed due to the boy's shirt slightly pulling up.

He always had a harder time controlling himself as the full moon approached. Remus chewed on the inside of his cheek, feeling terribly confused. The werewolf wasn't sure what to do. He knew that he and Sirius had agreed to "cool off" but was unsure as to what that entailed. He hadn't felt comfortable enough asking him after the fact either.

_Would I be cheating on Sirius if I did anything with Augustus? Do I want to do anything with him? Is Sirius doing anything with anyone else? Did he do anything with that blonde floozy the other night?_ He felt his stomach turn at the thought, all considerations of Augustus's abs abandoning his mind.

"Remus?"

The voice startled the werewolf out of his panicked thoughts. He looked up again to see Augustus had shifted onto his back and was staring up at the ceiling.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

The American boy's chest expanded slowly and then dropped as he let out a sigh. "I wanted your opinion on something. I am considering finishing my schooling abroad. My father suggested it, he thinks it would be good for foreign relations..." Augustus trailed off.

Remus scrunched up his eyebrows in thought. "Sounds like a good opportunity. Do you want to do it?"

"Yes. I really would."

"Well, then what are you unsure about?" Remus questioned, confused to why he had asked him. The werewolf stood up and walked over to the side of the bed when the wizard didn't respond, checking to see if he was okay.

Augustus looked up at him. "The school. It's Hogwarts."

Remus's eyes widened. "That's where I go."

"Yes, it is," he responded, a small smile curling up the corners of his lips at the obvious statement.

Remus sat down on the edge of the bed, his head spinning, not noticing how close he was to the other boy.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable. So, if you wouldn't be okay with it, just tell me." Augustus held his breath as he waited for a response from the frozen werewolf.

_I can't tell him not to go to Hogwarts because of me_. "Okay."

"Okay?" Augustus pushed himself up to a sitting position, his face only a few inches from Remus's. He placed his hand over the sandy-haired boy's.

Remus slowly nodded his head as he looked down to their touching hands. He felt Augustus's other hand gently brush against his cheek, his heart began to beat harder. He looked up into the other boy's blue eyes.

"Thank you," Augustus whispered, leaning towards the werewolf. He pressed his lips gently against the other boy's mouth.

_This is bad. This is very bad,_ Remus's brain screamed as he slowly started to return the kiss and his lips parted of their own accord. He felt the taller boy move closer, gently directing him back onto the bed and moving over him.

Augustus held himself up on his knees and elbows as he straddled the sandy-haired boy, their bodies not touching. He pulled his lips back slightly, smiling and moved to the werewolf's sensitive neck.

"Augustus," Remus gasped, attempting to stop the intimacy, but it ended up sounding like encouragement as the other boy began to kiss down to his collarbone. _Need to stop!_ His body disagreed as his hands were suddenly running up Augustus's back under his shirt. The taller boy groaned appreciatively and began to suck on a sensitive spot right above the other boy's collarbone. Remus's eyes closed at the sensation, his mind effectively shutting down. His hands moved back down and grasped Augustus's shirt hem, pulling it up and over the boy's head.

The blue-eyed boy looked down at him, and carefully began to pull Remus's shirt off in turn. He dropped the piece of clothing onto his bed before leaning back down and capturing his lips once again, more fervently than the first time.

Remus moved his hands up into the other boy's soft hair, shivering as he felt soft fingers trace along his scars and down his stomach as their kissing continued to get more heated.

"Hey there guys, I hope you..." Remus and Augustus pulled their mouths away at the voice, their heads jerking in unison towards the door to see a shocked James Potter standing just inside the room, his hand still on the doorknob.

Augustus quickly moved off of Remus and sat upright, placing some room between them. James continued to gape, seemingly frozen as his brain tried to process what he had just seen.

"James.. good to see you," Augustus struggled to say in a civil tone, his bare chest still heaving from the interrupted snog session and his hair mussed from Remus's fingers.

"Hullo Augustus," he said dumbly before turning his gaze to his very guilty looking friend, who was pulling his shirt on very quickly and inside out. "Remus," he greeted coolly, trying to hide the anger that was slowly building in his chest on behalf of his best friend.

"James. Ah, it's not what it looks like." He scrambled off of the bed and took a few steps towards him.

"Looks like you two were snogging," he said matter-of-factly as he eyed the disheveled werewolf, who was smoothing down his hair.

Augustus laughed. Remus's mouth dropped open and then closed quickly. "Okay, maybe it is," he said, mentally cursing his loss of control.

James looked away from him, and glanced back over to Augustus. He had put on his shirt, correctly, and was smiling nervously at the werewolf's reaction.

James took in a deep breath and smiled reassuringly at Augustus. "Well, can't say I blame you. Nobody can resist Remus's rugged good looks," he joked, forcing his concern for Sirius to the back of his mind momentarily.

He turned back to Remus, his smile tightening, "Moony, I just came to see if you wanted to tell my parents goodbye. They are leaving within the hour. My dad says they've 'cramped our style' long enough."

"Yeah, sure. Thanks for coming and telling me." He turned to Augustus. "I'll see you later, then?"

"Sure Remus," the blue-eyed boy answered genially.

**Flashback To Be Continued..**

* * *

**For those who skip to the good stuff...authors' note pasted...**

**We have already written the next chapter...so, if you want to get an update quickly..review! If we get 6 reviews, we will update as soon as it hits 6. If not, we will update in a week. Wahahahaha!**


	31. Walk Off the Earth

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"What's a quote?" -Peter Pettigrew

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**Warnings**: Boy problems. Ugh. So petty. I mean pretty. Yes. Yes...

**Disclaimer**: What's a Harry Potter?

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: So um like we decided to like update sooner because like it's like Friday like the 13th like. Like. *breathe* Here we go.

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE - Walk Off the Earth  
**

* * *

**Flashback Continued**

Remus walked slightly behind James in silence as they left Augustus's house. Once they were a few yards away, James asked nonchalantly as he looked straight ahead, "So is Augustus a good kisser?"

Remus stopped. "James, I can explain."

James spun around and advanced on the werewolf. "I don't need an explanation Remus, but _Sirius_ definitely will."

Remus grimaced at the thought, directing his attention to the ocean. "I know," he said softly.

"Do you? Do you Remus! I don't think you do, or else you would _not _have been doing what you were doing!" James yelled, poking his friend in the chest.

Remus pushed away the finger and glared back at him. "I didn't plan it! It just happened! I tried to stop, but.. tonight is _tonight_," he alluded to the full moon as a couple walked by. "And I couldn't control myself at all." He bit his lip as he thought of how Sirius would react.

"Yeah, well you shouldn't have been hanging out in his bed then!" James said stubbornly.

"Sirius and I are taking a break," he argued, not even believing his own words.

James stared at him in disbelief before he began to speak at an exaggerated slow pace. "I'm pretty sure when Sirius _agreed_ to taking a break it didn't include you rolling around half naked with Augustus!"

Remus's gaze dropped in defeat. "You're right."

James ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Listen Moony. If you want to be with Augustus, that's fine. He's a great guy. But you need to be honest with Sirius."

"I don't know what I want anymore," Remus admitted, walking towards the shore and sitting down in the sand.

James followed. He sat down and placed a supportive hand on his friend's shoulder. "Of course you do."

"How can you say that? I like _two_ people!" the werewolf spat.

"True, but you have to like one more than the other."

"What if I don't want to be with the one who I care about more?" he asked.

James sat quietly, waiting for him to explain himself.

The sandy-haired boy stared sadly out at the ocean, watching the waves swell and then crash. Some of them were small and would gently meet their end against the shore, the larger ones made so much noise when they crashed it sounded like thunder. "I could handle it if Augustus decided later on he didn't want to deal with me and my _problems_. In fact, I wouldn't expect any other outcome. But Sirius, if he left me I don't know what I would do honestly. I don't think I could handle it. And he _would_. I know it."

James patted his friend on the back and then stood up, brushing the sand off his shorts. "I don't think you give Padfoot enough credit. I think you should talk to him. He at least deserves a chance to defend himself before you make a decision."

Remus stood up quietly and the two boys made their way to James's house.

* * *

Remus sat on a porch swing in front of the Potter beach house. James had warned him on the way back that Sirius was again spending time with the blonde-headed girl, Bella, from the party the other night. The werewolf had slipped back downstairs after Sirius's third dance with the witch.

"Bella. Meaning beautiful in Italian. _Right_. That's probably not even her name," Remus scoffed, pushing off his feet harder, making the swing jerk sideways slightly. He glared out at the beach, and the witches and wizards who were screaming and laughing as they slid down a huge slide, approximately fifty feet high, that ended at a floating bounce pad, that would fling them into the turquoise water.

Sirius bounced off the pad, flew up in the air and managed to flip a few times before landing perfectly into the warm water. Bella, along with a few of her friends, were standing on the shore and were cheering him on, holding up white boards with all tens on them. Remus's eyes narrowed at the sight.

The werewolf watched, his chest tightening, as Sirius walked up onto the shore and then shook his head, flinging water drops all over the offending witch. _Calm down. He's not snogging her like you did Augustus._ The thought riddled him with guilt.

"Sirius!" the tall blonde squealed as she playfully batted him away.

"What! You look better a little wet!" the tall wizard playfully joked with the girl and then wrapped his wet arms around her forcing out another ear-piercing squeal.

_Or perhaps he is._

Remus stood up, his fists clenched. His accelerated breath burning his chest. He took a few steps until he was standing at the edge of the deck. Sirius's head jerked up at the quick movement, his eyes spotting and landing on the furious werewolf.

"Moony!" Sirius dropped his arms from the girl in excitement.

Remus faltered, his anger subsiding as Sirius began to jog towards him, a huge smile on his face. The taller wizard stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at Remus, still smiling but with a questioning look in eyes.

"When did you get back?" Sirius's voice was strained as he tried to control his tongue. He had seen the werewolf leave first thing in the morning with Augustus. After James had convinced him not to follow them Sirius had come up with the slide idea. He needed all the distractions he could get. Which is where Bella came in nicely. She was easy on the eyes, not pushy, and seemed to like to have as much fun as Sirius did.

"Oh, about half an hour ago," Remus mumbled, looking down at his shoes.

Sirius frowned and tried to not lose his temper. _Was that guilt on his face? What had he been doing?_ He felt his hands start to shake.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," the werewolf said, again in the quiet tone that unnerved the dark-haired wizard.

Sirius felt like pulling out his hair. Should he ask for details? Did he want them? Would it only push Remus away even more? Sirius took in a deep breath, not feeling any better. _Useless anger management methods_. He struggled to keep the plan of killing Augustus from forming in his head.

"Remus, look at me," Sirius blurted out. He hated how the werewolf had been avoiding eye-contact ever since he had asked for space.

Remus looked up from his feet, his eyes locking with Sirius.

"Yes?" he asked, feeling like his heart was going to burst. The animagus looked painfully gorgeous in front of him. Sirius was wearing only a pair of board shorts, as he stood in the sand barefoot. Remus noted the other boy's skin was even a deeper golden-tan and his hair, which hung just below his cheekbones, had a slight wave to it due to the ocean water.

"I-I, are you. I mean... Would you like to join us?" Sirius asked, stuttering uncharacteristically, as he stopped himself from begging the werewolf to take him back. _James said not to push it. Remus will tell me when he is ready to work things out, _he reminded himself.

"I don't know," Remus answered, looking out at the scene on the beach once again. Bella and her friends were stretched out on their stomachs in lounging chairs, sunning, with their tops undone. He pressed his lips together hard. _You did this. You asked for a break. Sirius is only doing what you wanted._ He ran an agitated hand through his short sandy hair. He should have anticipated that Sirius wouldn't sit around and mope. Remus wouldn't have wanted that, but he definitely didn't want this either.

"Come on. It'll be fun," Sirius encouraged him, his tone a little more pleading than he would have liked. _Keep it cool. Don't scare him off._

Remus looked back to the animagus and sighed. "All right, sure."

Sirius's face lit up, and he bounded up the stairs. "Splendid, let's go!" He grabbed the other boy's hand in his excitement, forgetting to keep his distance and began to pull him eagerly down the steps and towards the slide.

Remus smiled begrudgingly, heat shooting up from his hand, through his arm and straight into his chest. He let Sirius pull him away from the house.

* * *

"You're going to _really_ enjoy this." Sirius looked down, nodding in agreement with his own statement.

"So I've been told." Remus looked up, one eyebrow raised as he feigned boredom, his heart racing wildly.

"Trust me. It's mind-blowing! All the witches have said so," he persisted.

"Padfoot.."

"Moony.."

"If you stop again to tell me how much fun this is _going to be_, I'm going to climb back down," Remus threatened as he forced himself to keep looking up. The two boys were only halfway up the giant slide.

Sirius nodded and began to move upwards again. He took about five steps before stopping and turning his head again. "It _is_ really fun," he smiled cheekily at his friend.

Remus growled, his werewolf side getting the better of him.

The black-haired boy's eyebrows shot up and he smiled mischievously. "Why Moony, I do believe you just growled at me. That's the sexiest thing I've ever heard."

Remus fought a smile. "Move it Black."

"Only if you say please," he taunted and took a step down instead, moving closer to the werewolf.

Remus growled again.

"I could listen to that all day," Sirius said, his smile growing as he took another step down. He was now just one step above Remus, their bodies touching.

Remus held onto the railing and tried to not focus on Sirius's closeness. He cleared his throat. "Fine. _Please_. Happy?" he asked, his voice slightly husky.

"_Very_."

The two wizards finally made it to the top of the slide. Remus stood in the middle, not approaching the edges as Sirius leaned his head over one of the sides.

"We are _sooo_ high up!"

"Sirius, for the love of Merlin! Please move away from that edge!" The sandy-haired boy was regretting his decision as he stood at the top of the towering slide, holding on tightly to a handle.

"Okay, _Professor Lupin_," Sirius said mockingly as he pushed himself up precariously and bounced over to the white-faced werewolf.

"You know I hate it when you call me that!" Remus held on tighter as the slide swayed from the other boy's jumps.

"Yes, that's why I do it," Sirius said simply, before a small smile began to form and he quirked an eyebrow. "Although you _would_ be quite the _hot_ teacher." He tilted his head. "It's official then, you will be a professor."

"Well, since you say so that is _definitely_ what I will pursue as a career," he joked back.

Sirius moved closer and gently removed Remus's hand, placing it between his own hands. "Do you know what else is _hot?_" he asked quietly as he began to massage the other boy's palm.

Remus's breath hitched as he felt heat once again radiating from their touch. "What?" he asked, his voice gravelly.

"Me."

Remus's mouth tugged into a smile. _That git_.

The werewolf shifted closer, moving both boys closer to the slide. "Yeah, you're right. You look _really_ hot." He dead-panned.

Sirius's eyes widened. "I do?"

Remus smiled crookedly. "Oh yeah. A little _too hot_ actually. I think I know what you need." He placed a hand on the taller boy's chest, his own heart picking up speed as he felt Sirius's galloping in his chest.

The grey-eyed boy schooled his features and smirked down at the werewolf.

Remus leaned his face in slightly and Sirius closed his eyes. He smiled and pushed the boy's chest with his hand.

"Ahhhhhhhh! Remus!" Sirius screamed as he slid backwards down the slide, bouncing off the pad and flopping gracelessly into the water.

"Music to my ears," Remus sighed, grinning widely.

He looked back at the stairs behind him wistfully and then at the water far below, where Sirius was treading water and looking up at him. He took a deep breath and jumped on the slide.

* * *

"So, didn't I tell you? Huh. Huh."

Remus smiled and shoved Sirius's elbow away from his side. "Stop poking me."

The two boys floated lazily in the ocean, far enough out that the waves didn't crash on them.

"Sorry, I thought you might like it," Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Remus felt heat creep up the back of his neck and his ears began to burn. "So, er, Bella, is it?"

"What?" the grey-eyed boy asked sharply, frowning at the change in subject.

"She's pretty," the werewolf pointed out unnecessarily. _Sirius's type._

"I guess, if that's what you're into." The animagus shrugged flippantly. "Jump," he said, as a swell came in and the two boys floated up and then back down.

"You're not?" Remus asked, his chest painfully tight. _It's better if he is. I should want him to be. I am giving Augustus a go._

"No, I'm more into the bookish, dangerous type." Sirius swam closer. "Jump," he said softly. The swell pushed past them and the two boys were knocked against each other, their chests touching. Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus on the skin right beside his lips. He nervously gauged the werewolf's response before leaning in again and pressing his soft lips against Remus's mouth.

The werewolf felt the world melt away as their lips touched.

The dark-haired boy pulled back. "Wave." The two boys pushed off the ocean floor and floated above the swell, bumping into each other again. Sirius pushed his lips softly against the werewolf's again, waiting to let the other boy deepen it.

Remus pulled back, the action feeling like it caused physical pain. He looked up at his closest friend. _I have to tell him._

"Sirius, I snogged Augustus," the werewolf whispered guiltily.

"I know," he responded in a tight voice and looked away. "Jump." Their bodies pushed back together. Sirius kissed him right away, his lips more insistent and a hand snaking around Remus's waist.

The werewolf gasped at the touch, but pulled away before Sirius could further the kiss.

"How?" His body felt like it was on fire as he fought to continue his confession.

"I was there," Sirius responded, clearly agitated. "Jump." The water passed and they were farther apart.

Remus's mouth dropped open and then closed. "You were there today?"

Sirius's eyes widened and then darkened. "Today? You kissed _again!_" He began to move away and towards the shore.

"Yes." Remus followed him, a wave hitting him in the back.

"Why," the other boy demanded, stopping when the water was below his knees.

"I guess I just lost control. Full moon and all," Remus said, the words sounding even worse the second time.

"What did you do?"

"We just kissed.. on his bed.. without our shirts on."

The boy's grey eyes flicked down to Remus's inside-out shirt. He pushed his lips together tightly between his teeth and looked over at the crowd of teenagers.

"Sirius-"

"-Cool. Thanks for telling me," he said off-handedly, cutting of the other boy's apology, and began to walk away.

Remus grabbed his arm. "_Cool?_" He felt unjustifiably angry at the boy's apathetic response.

Sirius spun around and shoved the other boy's hand off. "No! Of course it's not cool Remus! Why did you even tell me?" he asked furiously.

"I just thought you'd want to know before.. things progressed any further."

Sirius let out a bitter laugh. "This isn't working, Remus. I can't do it anymore." He took a few steps back.

"What can't you do?" he asked, afraid of the response but expecting it all the same.

"This whole 'cooling off' thing. I don't want to cool off with you Remus! And I _definitely_ don't want you to hang out with Augustus or kiss him! I don't want to share you with anyone. And, if you're not ready for that then maybe we should just end things now."

"All right," Remus replied tonelessly.

"_All right_?!" Sirius yelled in disbelief.

"Well, what am I supposed to say?" Remus snapped, looking away sharply.

"I don't know! Say _no_! Say you _don't_ want to be with him!" Sirius paused and then looked into the other boy's eyes, and spoke, his voice pleading, "Say you want to be with _me_." Sirius continued to stare at the other boy, trying to will him into responding how he wanted.

"I still need more time," Remus said quietly, his unfounded anger dissipating.

Sirius laughed incredulously. "More time for what? To shag Augustus!" he sneered.

"You know I wouldn't do that," Remus said with a tone of desperation, his expression morphing into a mixture of hurt and guilt.

"_Do_ I? Because I _thought_ that you would never snog him! But you've done it _twice_ now!" Sirius said coldly, turning just as a huge wave came toward them both, and walked back to shore.

**Flashback End**

* * *

:-)


	32. Let Them Wonder How We Got This Far

**A BEAUTIFUL MESS**

"He was either really excited or absolutely terrified." -Sirius Black

**Warnings**: Soooo...

**Disclaimer**: We don't own Harry Potter.

**AUTHORS' NOTE**: We're back! There will probably be another 6 chapters or so. Sorry it's been so long just kind of lost motivation. We will finish this though and chapters will be longer here on out. Expect weekly updates. Hopefully. Missed you guys! :-)

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO - Let Them Wonder How We Got This Far  
**

* * *

"Remus, you're okay!"

The werewolf spun around to see Augustus jogging towards him. He heard the animagus growl behind him.

"Augustus, stop! Don't come any closer!" Remus grabbed his wand out of his sleeve, not trusting Sirius with the other wizard's presence. Augustus stopped, his eyes darting between Remus's worried face and the growling black dog.

"Wait, is that Black? He's an animagus?" Augustus's wand hand raised defensively as the black dog snarled at him.

"Augustus, please. You have to leave. He won't hurt me, and I still need to talk to him," Remus pleaded with the American wizard, his voice forcefully calm. "For me," he added quietly when the man didn't respond.

Augustus lowered his wand slightly, a rejected expression on his face. "Okay, Remus. I'll do this for you. I'll be in our common room, _waiting for you_." He shot a look torn between wistfulness and fear towards the werewolf before turning a loathing gaze on the dog. He turned and strode towards the castle once more.

"Your common room?" a deceptively quiet voice asked behind him.

Remus spun around, his eyes landing once more on Sirius. "You shouldn't have let him see you like that!" he shouted, ignoring his question.

"Remus, come away with me right now. We can hunt-"

"-Sirius, you need to turn yourself in to Dumbledore! He can help you!" Remus reached out a shaking hand and placed it on Sirius's chest. He felt his own heart begin to race at the feel of him under his hand, his eyes burning.

Sirius felt a calmness pour over him as he reveled in the contact. "I can't do that. I have..unfinished business. Please, _Moony_, come with me," he whispered in an achingly soft voice as one of his hands reached up and gently caressed the side of Remus's face.

The werewolf closed his eyes, swallowing hard as emotions bombarded his body. He leaned into the touch, bringing their faces within inches of each other. "I can't. I can't just leave," he whispered back, his senses flooding with the scent of the other wizard.

"But I _need_ you," Sirius whispered before sliding his hand down to Remus's neck. He took in a jagged breath before leaning down and pressing his lips against Remus's. The werewolf gasped as a feeling of electricity shot down through his body and he wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck. Sirius pulled back too soon, a groan escaping his lips. "Please, Remus," he asked, his breath brushing against Remus's mouth.

Confused hazel eyes looked up into anticipating grey eyes. "I need time."

Sirius pulled back. Remus felt a painful emptiness as he watched the other man's eyes grow empty once more.

"Two days. Meet me in the Shrieking Shack then if you decide..." Sirius trailed off, not finishing his sentence as he began to scan the area again, his movements becoming more agitated.

"Two days," Remus agreed solemnly, nodding his consent.

Sirius's eyes once more came alive at the other man's words, a hopeful look on his face before his figure blurred and was replaced by the giant canine. The dog looked up, whined, and then turned and ran off.

"Bye, Padfoot."

* * *

**-Flashback Start-**

"I don't need him," an irate Sirius Black muttered again as he turned the water off to the shower and grabbed a plush grey towel, wrapping it around his hips. He picked up a smaller tan towel and rubbed it over his head angrily. It had been a week since Remus had confessed to kissing Augustus a second time and Sirius had been avoiding the werewolf.

He stalked over to his sink and swiped a damp hand across the steamed mirror. He smiled winningly at his own reflection, "I'm fucking Sirius Black."

He ran his hands through his towel-dried hair before tugging up a pair of dark Armani jeans over his hips and then pulling a white Fendi t-shirt over his head. He took one last appreciative glance at himself before flipping off the bathroom light.

Sirius walked into the living room on his way to the front door and froze at the sight before him. Remus was lying on the couch sleeping. He had his shirt off and his shorts hung low on his hips as he hugged a pillow, his short sandy hair in disarray. He watched the werewolf shift and grab tighter onto the pillow. _I don't need him_, he reminded himself forcefully, determined to fight his feelings. He began to walk towards the door.

"Sirius. Don't go, please."

The animagus spun back around, he felt like someone had punched him in the chest. _He's dreaming about me. He still wants me_. He suddenly found his traitorous feet walking over to the other couch and he dropped down into it. "I'm right here, Remus," he murmured, his chest constricting painfully as his resolve melted away.

* * *

"Augustus. Oh Augustus."

"Yes James?"

"You're a good mate. You know that? I don't know if I've told you that lately. Have I told you that lately?" James walked, stumbling every few steps in the sand, the two boys only a few yards from James's front porch.

Augustus tried to hide a smile. "Actually you have. Quite a few times tonight."

"Have I? Good. Cause we've been friends for a loooong time," James said, stopping in front of the steps.

"Yes, we have." James had shown up at Augustus's house earlier terribly upset about his girlfriend, drinking a bottle of liquor.

"I'm sorry I haven't hung out with you any this summer. But I was, I was afraid it would upset Sirius. He's a bit sensitive," James stepped onto the first step and then stumbled back down.

"Black is sensitive?" Augustus reached out a stabilizing arm to help the unsteady boy.

"_Very_. Very sensitive," James said as he reached an arm around the other boy's shoulder, who in turn wrapped an arm around his waist to help him up the stairs.

Augustus lifted a skeptical eyebrow.

James pulled his friend closer and whispered very loudly in his ear. "He's a bit of a softie really. Shhhhhhhh. Don't tell anyone I said that."

Augustus winced at the loud voice. "Your secret's safe with me."

"You just don't see it. His soft side that is. Because he hates you," he said matter-of-factly as he began to walk up the stairs with the help of the American wizard.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," he joked as he continued to help his stumbling friend up the stairs.

"Oh, yes. I'm pretty sure he hates you more than anyone really. _Even his mum!_ It's quite impressive. I think he wants to kill you." James laughed lightly.

"Good to know."

"It's not your fault though. He'd hate anyone trying to take Moony away from him," he said as they stood on the porch.

Augustus frowned. "I'm not trying to _take him away_. I didn't even know they were a thing until we had already started up." He helped James to the door.

"No, I know, I know." He stopped to pat Augustus on the head for reassurance. "And Sirius knows that too. He just doesn't care."

Augustus's eyes narrowed. He _really_ didn't like James's best friend. "Well, here we are." The American wizard pushed open the front door as James leaned on him heavily. James decided to help and kicked the door the rest of the way open, causing a loud bang as it hit the wall behind it.

"Hullo everybody! Look who I brought! It's Augustus!" James announced proudly as he smiled vacantly, pulling the other boy in unwillingly and ignoring his protests.

"Yippee," muttered Sirius, who was sitting on a couch placed across from another couch containing a reclined, groggy-looking and shirtless Remus. The werewolf drowsily pushed himself up into a sitting position.

Remus looked up, his face slightly red, and smiled. "Hullo."

Augustus returned the gesture questioningly. _Why isn't he wearing a shirt?_ He helped James sit down beside Remus and then sat down on the werewolf's other side.

Sirius shot him a death glare.

Augustus ignored the look and turned to Remus, whispering in his ear. "James is a bit pissed. He mixed alcohol and calming draught unbeknownst to me. So, we are going to need to watch him closely. Don't worry though, I transfigured his drink into liquor-flavored water as soon as I found out so he shouldn't get any worse, but it'll probably take a while for it to wear off."

Remus nodded sleepily and glanced over to his friend in concern. James smiled back and winked. "Moony. You look rather sexy tonight, like you've just been ravaged."

Remus smoothed down his hair and tried to collect himself. He had been in a deep sleep when the door had slammed open.

"Oy, Prongs!" Sirius glowered at his best friend.

James laughed. "What, he does. Maybe since I'm single now I'll go after Moony too. He's quite the hot commodity."

Remus gaped, Augustus chuckled and Sirius glared.

"Wait, what do you mean single?" Remus asked, suddenly realizing his friends words.

"I broke it off with Li-_Evans_... She wasn't that great," he muttered sourly and took a large swig of his flavored water.

"No shit? What happened!" Sirius exclaimed, leaning forward.

"Nothing important," James said sulkily and took another drink. He gave a roguish grin and threw an arm around Remus playfully, ruffling his sandy hair with the other hand. "Merlin, Moony, your hair is really soft."

"James.." Sirius found himself getting jealous again despite knowing better. _It's Augustus's fault. He's got me on edge._

James laughed and let go, leaning back. "So what are we doing tonight to celebrate my birthday, it's only 3 hours away! I know.. let's drink!"

* * *

Sirius glared at his ex-best friend. James was leaning over Remus and he and Augustus were laughing about something. "He's a boyfriend stealer and a friend stealer. It's just wrong," he muttered to himself angrily as he sat with his arms crossed tightly, bouncing a knee in irritation.

James looked down at Remus and smiled goofily."So, do all of _you_ have abs like these Moony? I could bake cookies on them they're so hot. Tssss." James said as he ran a finger jokingly down his friend's stomach.

Remus shoved James's hands away in horror and jumped up off the couch.

Sirius froze in shock and heard Remus mumble something about needing to change his clothes before he ran off. He glanced over at Augustus, who looked like he was considering James's words.

Sirius glared at his drunk friend, "I can only assume you were referring to _intelligent wizards_. Since you are _clearly_ not in that group," he said angrily, trying to cover for the werewolf.

James ignored the snide comment and turned back to Augustus. "So, Moony tells me you're attending Hogwarts this fall? Maybe you'll get into Gryffindor."

"I'm considering it," Augustus hedged, not wanting to discuss the subject without Remus around.

Sirius's eyes narrowed as he felt himself quickly losing control.

Remus walked back into the room, his eyes looking over to Sirius in concern. The grey-eyed boy looked away quickly.

"Moony! Excellent. You're back. Let's play a drinking game. How about _Never Have I Ever."_

"I don't know James.."

"-Great idea! I _love_ that game. I'll get the alcohol," Sirius snarled, jumping up and walking over to the kitchen.

* * *

"Never have I ever kissed a boy."

Three cups lifted and then landed back down not as full.

James laughed, his cup untouched. "Your turn Remus."

"Okay..Uh, Never have I ever written in a library book."

James and Sirius shamelessly picked up their cups and took a drink of the contents.

"Augustus."

"All right. Never have I ever done underage magic outside of school."

Everyone picked up their cups and took a drink.

"Sirius, your turn."

"Never have I ever," he paused, tilted his head, an evil grin darkening his features, before saying, "Shagged someone."

The room got quiet as Sirius and Augustus lifted their cups and drank. James and Remus exchanged questioning glances.

Remus looked down at his cup, clenching his fists. _Sirius has shagged someone? Who! He didn't tell me that!_

James cleared his throat uncomfortably, evidently his mind was clearing enough to realize what had just happened. He looked at Sirius and shook his head in disapproval.

"Your turn _Prongs_," he said scathingly, his anger only intensifying with the admission, and ignored the other boy's warning.

James glared at him. "Okay. _Padfoot_. Never have I ever slipped the tongue to Remus."

Sirius sat stone-still, his eyes flashing as he stared at Remus as Augustus lifted his cup and took a drink. Remus glared back, his self-control dissipating as his anger slowly began to build. _I bet it was that Bella whore or Emily. Probably both_! Augustus sat quietly as he considered the implications.

"Never have I ever made out with Augustus," Remus quipped before lifting his drink and shooting it to the back of his throat, swallowing it all at once.

"I think we should stop now," Augustus said calmly. He looked over to Remus in concern, who was visibly shaking in anger as he poured more alcohol into his cup and downed it again. "Remus, let me help you to your room," he offered quietly. James had passed out and was lying curled up in a ball on the floor.

"The hell you will!" Sirius said, jumping up. His eyes wild with fury.

Augustus stood up quickly. "I think Remus can answer for himself." The two standing boys looked down to the werewolf, who was now drinking straight from the bottle. He lowered it slowly.

"Sure, Augustus. I'd like that," he said, his heart thrashing about in protest as Sirius's face dropped.

Remus stood up, stubbornly ignoring Sirius.

"_Moony_," Sirius said, his voice a plea.

Remus felt himself stagger slightly and leaned against Augustus for support. "I. I hate you, Sirius," he lied, staring down at the ground as the words tore into the grey-eyed boy. _  
_

"Come on, Remus," Augustus said quietly.

"You! This is all your fault!" Sirius yelled suddenly, pointing a finger at Augustus.

"I'll kill you!"

* * *

"Augustus, I'm so sorry," Remus apologized for the tenth time as he lifted his wand to heal the bruises around Augustus's neck.

"It's not your fault, Remus." The American wizard grimaced as the healing spell stung the skin it healed. Sirius had attacked Augustus and Remus had had to pull him off as he tried to choke the other boy.

"I know. But, I was trying to make Sirius mad on purpose, so I wasn't completely innocent," Remus said apologetically as he stood up and searched for a potion on his dresser.

"You love him, don't you?"

Remus's hands froze, his shoulders dropping. "I don't want to," he murmured, not turning around.

The American wizard stood up slowly. "I should go, Remus," his words meaning more than what he said.

Remus turned around. "I'm sorry, Augustus."

* * *

Remus stood, his hands splayed on the dresser as he leaned over. Potion bottles were strewn on the floor. "I'm going to kill James as soon as he's sober!"

"Good idea. I'll help you."

Remus looked up his eyes narrowing. Sirius walked in and shut the door behind him.

"That would be quite impossible since you'll be dead at that point," Remus said in an uncharacteristically cold voice.

"I'm sorry, Remus," he said simply, making eye contact.

"Get out!" The werewolf felt suffocated by a whirl of emotions. Fury, sadness and need wrestled for the boy's attention.

Sirius squared his shoulders and walked straight towards Remus instead. He wrapped his arms around the werewolf and hugged him. "I'm so sorry," he whispered in the boy's ear.

Remus felt himself collapse against the other boy. "Who was it? Emily?"

Sirius nodded and held Remus tighter when he tried to push away.

"I shouldn't have told you that way. I was just really mad. It was just once. I didn't tell you before because it didn't mean anything to me."

Remus pushed him away. "It means something to me Sirius! How could you?"

"I don't know. Why didn't you tell me _he_ was going to Hogwarts next year?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus felt guilt take over as he eyed the clearly devastated boy in front of him. "James?"

"Yep."

_Shit_.

Remus tried to think of how to respond. He settled with groaning and lying down on his bed face first. He felt the bed dip beside him as Sirius joined him, leaving a space between their bodies.

"Remus..."

The werewolf tried to bury himself further into the bed sheets.

"Remus..."

The sandy-haired boy kicked his feet angrily before turning his head and looking at the dark-haired wizard.

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Isn't it obvious? I thought you'd freak out," Remus said dejectedly.

"So you just weren't going to tell me? I would have figured it out when James gave him my bed in the dorm. I'm pretty sure that's what he's planning anyways," he sulked.

"James wouldn't do that. You're his best friend Sirius."

"Things can change," he said pointedly as he looked at the boy beside him.

"Padfoot, you know that you and I will always be friends. No matter what."

"I doubt that. I mean, I don't think I could be if you chose him." Sirius looked down at his hands.

"What? But why?" Remus felt his heart begin to pound as his worst nightmare started to become a reality.

"Because, I love you!" Sirius paused and looked into Remus's eyes and said softly, "I love you, Remus. _So much_. And it hurts. I can't watch this anymore. I tried, but it's killing me," he said, his voice tight as he choked on the last few words.

_What have I done_? Remus reached out a hand but Sirius pushed himself off the bed quickly.

"And that's why I came to talk to you. I'm ending this. Permanently. I can tell you don't want to want to be with me. So I'm making it easy on you. We're through."

* * *

"Remus! Open up!" James banged on Remus's door. The werewolf groaned and looked at his watch. It was four in the morning. He had just fallen asleep half an hour ago.

"It's Sirius! He left!" James yelled through the door, his voice full of panic.

Remus pushed himself out of bed and walked quickly to the door, opening it. "James, he can take care of himself. He'll be fine." He rubbed his face with his hands as he tried to believe his own words.

"No, you don't understand. He went _home_, Remus!"

The werewolf gasped. "No! No... Sirius wouldn't do that. You must be mistaken."

James shook his head emphatically. "I heard him say it. _He flooed home._"

"We have to go get him."

* * *

**Hopefully you all are still with us! :-)**

**Also, Author 1 is writing a story solo called 'STUDY TIME WITH FRIENDS' under the pen name 'SIRIUSSMUT' on here. It is rated M, contains adult themes, and is wildly inappropriate. ;-) It's Sirius/Remus. Check it out if you are old enough****! :-)**


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